Title: "But It's Pretty, Pink and Flowery!"
Author: Bug Eyed Monster
Spoilers: End of TV series for Buffy; Sniper Zero, Toxin, and Spree for Numb3rs.
Warnings: Buffy doing the blonde and ditzy thing.
Summary: Cadet Summers is annoying Special Agent Edgerton with her choice of weapons.
Disclaimer: I don't own the beautiful guys of Numb3rs nor anyone from BtVS/AtS. I'm only borrowing them for a little while and promise to return them to their owners' toy box, though they might be a bit tattered and tarnished when I'm done.
In a routine timed practice session-
Special Agent D. Ian Edgerton refrained from groaning and massaged the bridge of his nose. He could hear some of the cadets snickering or stifling laughter. Edgerton kept his face blank, until now he hadn't known that one of those da**ed things could shoot that far.
One of the male cadets attempted to tease Cadet Summers about her choice of weapon. Miss Summers retorted, "You're just jealous 'cause you want a pink flowery one too." A chorus of "Ooooo"s from some of the other male cadets followed.
Buffy turned to Edgerton with a 'deer caught in the headlights' look. She squeaked something unintelligible. He gave her his "Don't Piss Off The Sniper" glare as he stalked over to her position. He stopped beside her and held out his hand. Buffy squeaked. "But it's my favourite. Oh my god, did I put a 'u' in favorite?! I'll start saying 'pansy' and drinking tea next!"
Edgerton snatched her crossbow away and waggled a "come here" finger at her. Summers demurely followed him, out of earshot of the other cadets. He took a quick glance at her footwear, thankfully she'd stopped wearing heels while in class.
"Your 'hit' rating is the highest in the Bureau's history among rookies, though that's the counting only the ones that did not come from a military background. On assembling and loading, you are currently third from the top. When you started training you were last. By the time you finish training, I think you'll be able to out shoot me."
"Really?" Buffy beamed and rocked in place a little.
"So why the crossbows?"
"I'm used to them." Buffy whined. "And I don't like guns."
Edgerton rolled his eyes. This was where he would usually get in a cadet's personal space. But standing nose to nose with Ms Summers and snarling in her face didn't bug her at all. Worse yet, one corner of her mouth would quirk up, and he could tell she was biting the inside of her cheek, trying not to laugh.
"Get used to them." He snapped. Buffy opened her mouth. Edgerton didn't give her an opportunity. "That jujitsu trick you used to throw Cadet Thomas over your shoulder- beautifully executed."
Buffy frowned angrily. "He pulled my shirt off!"
"And you kept going, despite being shirtless, and took him down. You keep focused on assignments, you have great endurance and decent speed, you're way more intelligent than you let on. You'll be marvelous out in the field."
Edgerton paused a bit and then hit her with what he had recently heard. "I've heard from several team leaders who are begging to have you on their teams once you graduate, despite that ditzy Valley Girl 'I'm allergic to research' act of yours. No one's that stupid, Summers."
Buffy frowned. "Riley thought the blonde!Buffy act was great."
"He's an Army Ranger involved with classified ops; of course he'll tell you that a dumb act is good. But when you interact with witnesses, it won't get you far."
"Can I use it around perps?"
Edgerton couldn't help the smirk. "Only if your team leader says you can. All you need now is to get used to thinking of your gun rather than your crossbow." He held it up. "Think of this thing for deer hunting."
"But I couldn't hunt deer. 'Bambi' still makes me cry."
Edgerton ignored that. "I'll be hanging on to this one. Don't bring anymore crossbows to class again, or I'll use them for deer hunting."
Buffy looked aghast, probably it was the deer hunting comment, rather than the threat of confiscating her crossbow collection. "But it doesn't go with your wardrobe!"
Edgerton rolled his eyes. He didn't owe her any explanation but... "I'm taking it to the lab. I didn't know these things could shoot a bolt that far."
"I alter them myself!" Ms Summers perked up like a little cheerleader.
Edgerton raised an eyebrow. "I'll be sure to mention that to the tech guys." He could already picture the techs gushing over it. Another note to add to Cadet Summers' file and another reason for some team leader to drool over her.
"Back over there, and I want to see you using the damned gun, Summers."
Buffy sighed a "Yes, sir" that was more air than sound, and went back into the range first. Cadet Marcelino gave her another ragging comment, Buffy cut back with a even sharper tongue. Edgerton kept his face blank. Summers would soar far.
Going home, Edgerton found a bottle of aspirin in his locked
car. The post it note stuck to the unopened box read, "Sorry. Will try better. Summers."