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Faith Never...

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Summary: A series of things that Faith never did or never happened to her.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Faith-Centered > Ficlet Collections
Television > Numb3rs > Faith - Centered
BugeyedmonsterFR18912,02201912,6737 Sep 082 Mar 09No

Had a Paper and a Cat

Title: Faith Never...Had a Paper and a Cat
Author: Bug Eyed Monster
Rating: Teen
Category: Crossover, General.
Spoilers: Season 4 for Numb3rs, post TV series for BtVS. Minor cross with Early Edition.
Warnings: Language, violence.
Summary: Faith's new cat (with newspaper) has led her to LA.

I am answering my own challenge, of crossing "Early Edition" with BtVS. Where Faith becomes another type of Chosen.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, if I did Faith would have had more airtime, along with Lt. Walker. I don't think I'd ever want to own Gary's cat or paper.


Faith sat on her motorcycle in the alley, frowned at the paper, and generally glared at the world. Stupid motherf*cking dispatcher.

So here she was waiting for some limp-dick to pick up some lonely little latch key girl he'd befriended. Great.

Ah yeah, there he was.

Faith got off her bike and strutted over to the mouth of the alley. She could see Richard's pastel with rust colored spots van, an older model, with a heavy metal bumper, and dual back doors. No side doors.

"Hey, Richard. I need to talk with ya'." She hollered.

Richard stopped walking with Heather and turned to glance at her. Faith tried to gesture Richard towards the alley. Lure him into the alley, knock him out, and let Heather wait for mommy. Yup, sounded like a plan.

"Wait by my car, honey." Richard said to Heather.

It would have gone smoothly, had not someone yelled out something about "you're not authorized to take her."

Richard grabbed Heather's arm and ran into his van, dragging the kid. The van, despite its apparent age, started right up and took off like a NASCAR engine was hiding under the hood.

"Aw, frack me!" Faith ran back to her cycle, and tore off after the van.


Walker dodged another accident and caught up closer to the kidnapper’s van. This bastard was causing accidents with his erratic driving.

Walker blinked at brunette who was hanging onto the door handle on the back of the van. She was sort of squatting or sitting, balanced on the metal bumper. As she attempted to open the door, bullets ripped through it.

He swore and swerved as his windshield received some new ventilation. The rookie on the passenger side also swore.

“You okay?”


The brunette had managed to open the door. The door swung off its hinges and fell onto street. He swore again; this he couldn't avoid running over. Thankfully the door didn't mess up his tires. The last sight he had of the brunette was of her crawling into the van.


Since this was Richard’s work van, there were metal shelving units stuck to the floor and walls of the van. Faith was glad, as they made for convenient grabbing-onto-things. The van swayed and swerved as she made her way closer to the limp-dick. He was soo going to regret this. Heather was crying that she wanted her mommy and to go home.

Faith managed to make her way to Limp-dick's seat. She grabbed the edge as tightly as a Slayer could, came around on his right side and punched him twice on the jaw. He slumped instantly and the van went into a spin.

"F*ck!" Fingers digging into the seat, Faith spared a glance at Heather, at least she was belted in. Faith tossed Limp-dick into the back, hopped into the driver's seat and attempted to steer against the curve. The van fishtailed, then spun in the opposite direction and she could see the flashing lights of various marked and unmarked cars behind them through the windshield for a few seconds.

"Shit! How do I stop this thing?" She was trying to alternate between the gas and brake, but that wasn't really helping. Maybe next time Giles tried to teach her to drive, she'd listen.

Faith's eye caught the shifting lever by the driver's seat, with the P- P for park. Faith grabbed the lever and forced it into the 'park' position.


The van rolled, tempered glass flying around and reflecting light like tiny crystal shards. The van landed upright on its wheels and skidded backwards as a Bureau SUV with flashing lights ended up going past the van.

To Don's horror the van was now behind him, it had gone into another roll and he swerved, trying to avoid the heavy metal box heading his way.

The van righted itself once more and skidded backwards off the 10, down an exit ramp. It spun around once more and crashed rear end into a streetlamp. The lamp folded over the van like it was made from aluminum foil, the lamp itself shattered and little bits scattered over the ramp like a toddler's discarded toys.

Don pulled up near the driver's side. He got out of the SUV.


In the driver's seat, through the now glassless window, he could see a semi-familiar looking brunette, who was clutching Heather Hamilton and staring out the crackled windshield.

Don checked to see that Gary and some other officers and agents were covering him, then he grabbed the door handle and attempted to open the damaged door. The door creaked and groaned, but didn't open.

The brunette jumped as if a snake had bitten her and turned towards him. Don recognized her face. Faith Lehane, Murder 2, twice escaped from prison.

Lehane blinked at him as she came into awareness, and then said. "How about you pull and I push?" Her tone of voice was actually friendly.

"Alright." Don said, and grabbed the door handle again.

This time the door came open, with much metallic groaning, while little shards of tempered auto glass showered onto the ground. The door hung crookedly as the top hinge had given out. Lehane slowly slid out holding Heather.

One of the cops attempted to take Heather out of Lehane's arms, but Heather clung tightly to Lehane, refused to look at the officer and whined "Noooo." Lehane sighed. "Hey, it's okay, sweetie. The bi-uhm, cop is just here to take you home. Ya' wanna' go home right?"

After a few minutes of watching Lehane interact with the kid, Don dropped her from his attention. He didn’t think she would willingly endanger the kid. Gary was looking inside the van.

"The witnesses reports mentioned a short brunette woman on a motorcycle chasing the van after the abduction, right?" He asked Walker.

Walker sized up Lehane. “Saw her two weeks back. She knocked a pedophile into his own trunk.”

"Lehane's file mentioned a soft spot for kids." Don said. "Also mentioned that she should be kept at the far end of the pen away from any child killers or molesters."

Gary snorted. "Does she have a driver's license?"

"No, just a state I.D., why?"

"Lehane." Gary shouted. "Next time, pull on the park brake, DO NOT attempt to shift it into park. That's what caused it to roll."

Don rubbed the back of his neck. Heather was still hanging onto Lehane, but the kid had stopped whining and was now looking at the officer talking to her. Lehane put up a finger (not the obscene one.) "Thanks, I'll remember that next time."

Don moved around to the back. A couple firemen had one of the back doors open. The wanna-be-kidnapper had been in the back of the van during the entire rolling, unrestrained, and with some pieces of heavy metal equipment. Don winced at the mess. "We're going to need a spoon to get every bit of this guy up."

Gary laughed. "Better you than me, Don."


Don toyed with the toothpick in his mouth, thinking over Megan’s theory about Lehane seeking redemption.

He went to the interview room where Ms. Ashley Hamilton, a well-paid lawyer, was with her daughter. “Ms. Hamilton, would you like to meet Faith Lehane?”

Ms. Hamilton’s breath caught and she nodded.


Gary frowned as he noticed Don leading Ms. Hamilton and Heather towards the interview room containing Lehane. Don opened the door. Heather cried out, spread her arms and ran inside. Mom followed at a more sedate pace.

Don closed the door and walked over to Gary.

“There a reason ya’ did that, Eppes?”

“Just a little theory Megan had.” Don said.

They leaned back and watched the show provided as Ms. Hamilton and Heather emerged with Lehane. Heather was acting as if Lehane was her new bestest friend forever and Ms. Hamilton was staying close to both her daughter and Lehane.

Lehane was more uncomfortable than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. She looked as if she was looking for any excuse for escape. She spotted Don, and gave him an excellent “if looks could kill” example.

Gary snorted with laughter. “Think ya’ might want to be careful when you sleep tonight, Eppes.”


"Did you get the recording?" Lt. Walker asked Special Agent Don Eppes as he sauntered into Don's office the next morning.


"What recording?" Colby asked.

Don pushed a few buttons on his computer, pulled up the file of the recording and pressed the play button.

"911. What's your emergency?"

"Yeah, some kid freak pencil-dick's planning on picking up this kid from outside her school this afternoon." Lehane said.

"Excuse me?"

"Her name's Heather Hamilton, she goes to the Greenwood Academy."

"And you know this how?"

Don could almost hear Lehane roll her eyes. "I'm psychic, no sh*t. Look, I overheard him talking about how seductive she was, that's how."

"I don't care for your tone of voice, young lady."

"Yo, just have a coupla' cops hang around outside her school. Okay?"

"No, it's not okay." The dispatcher said, and then she warned Lehane about the consequences of making false calls to 911 before disconnecting.

Colby blinked. "Okay, so this whole mess on the 10 yesterday could have been avoided?"

"Lehane does have a little bit of an attitude." Megan said around the lollipop in her mouth. "Not that I'm excusing the dispatcher."

Walker snorted. "Lehane has a *little bit* of an attitude, that's like saying the ocean's a little bit damp."

"The call was made about a few minutes after 9:00 a.m." Don said. "So when did her and Richard's paths cross?"


The End?

You have reached the end of "Faith Never..." – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 2 Mar 09.

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