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Summary: This is a collection of plot bunnies that I am too busy to work on. They are driving me nuts and I hope someone will adopt them, if you decide to then review and tell me which one. There's something here for everybody, so give it a try.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered > Ficlet CollectionsTheLaughingManFR15129305,51111634507,61110 Sep 0811 Dec 14No

NOTE: This chapter is rated FR18

Lily Luna's Evil Plan

AN: I've some HP Epilogue stories where Albus Severus becomes the next Dark Lord (likely because of being named that), but I never liked that idea, so I decided do something a bit different. The next big threat doesn't come from an army of dark wizards or tattooed followers, it comes from one very cunning and determined individual who happens to be a bit sick in the head.

Warning: Evilness ahead.

Harry James Potter sat at his oak desk as he poured himself a glass of scotch, placing the cool glass against his forehead and letting out an annoyed sigh. His divorce had not been pretty and the newspapers had printed every sordid detail about what had happened. Ginny had cheated on him with at least three different men in the last sixteen years, though they were sporadic and not lasting affairs. Seamus Finnigan, Theodore Nott, and Draco Malfoy, that last one had been the ultimate kick in the gut for him.

Apparantly, Malfoy had been her first affair early on in their marriage. She had seen him multiple times over the first two years, then ended it. He had known that she had an affair around that time and had forgiven her for that, more for the childrens' sake than anything else, but had not been aware it was Malfoy of all people. Oh, Harry had loved her, but he did not deal very well with betrayal and would have chucked her out of the house if it hadn't been for his two sons. She had promised him that it would never happen again and for a while she was the best wife a man could hope for: doting, loving, patient, and understanding. Of course, she had left out the fact that it had been Malfoy who ended the affair instead of her which had come out during court.

Not long after their daughter was born, she began another affair with Nott. Nott had been a political enemy of Harry's for years, replacing Malfoy's former position as his biggest headache and most hated member of the Ministry. Once again, he had not known the identity of Nott at the time, but the bastard's smirking face during Harry's divorce had showed that it was true. If he had been a less restrained man, Harry would have murdered the prick right then and there. That affair had been the longest lasting by far, going on for nearly eight years behind his back until Ginny had ended it when Nott began requesting more and more demeaning acts. Merlin only knew what Nott had her do for years before it became 'too much' for her.

Lastly, Seamus or just Finnigan as Harry called him now. At least the Irishman had the excuse of being drunk the first time, though not the second or tenth time so much. Seamus had been the one to confess his guilt to Harry and hadn't fought back as Harry had beat the piss out of him, but in the end it wasn't Seamus that Harry had been angry at: it was himself for believing Ginny's lies and appologies for so long. Worse yet, he might have forgiven Ginny even then if his daughter hadn't overheard the entirety of Finnigan's confession. Lily Luna had been furious to say the least and had demanded that he divorce her mother. She had been practicly spitting venom, ranting about her mother to Harry and exacting a promise from him that he would divorce Ginny. Ginny had been very lucky that Lily hadn't known about the previous affairs at the time because Harry was fairly certain his daughter would have killed her.

Lily had always been a 'daddy's girl', she had his black hair and Ginny's brown eyes though Lily's had seemed so much more rich and expressive than his wife's had ever been. She lacked her mother's freckles and had his clear skin, though considerable darker in tone due to her love of sunbathing and visiting her godmother 'Aunt Gabrielle' in the South of France. She was an extremely beautiful girl, so beautiful that he was kind of shocked that she possessed his genes though he had subtley confirmed her heritage with an old blood charm. Lily was entirely too clever and all too quick to hate, more than willing to spread lies with great expertise if it made things easier for her.

He loved her a lot, she was his baby, his beloved child and probably his favorite, much as he hated to play favorites among his children, but he was concerned for her, knowing how petty and vengeful she could be. For all of her beauty, he feared she had inherited many of his worst traits including his capacity to hate among others. She was the first Slytherin in the family for many generations, both cunning and ambitious in addition to her acting skills. He knew that she had all of Hogwarts eating out of her palm, manipulating people against one another for her own profit and to maintain her pristine reputation in the minds of the world.

Sirius James had not cared overly much about the divorce, having grown distant from Ginny after hearing so many of their arguments over the years, but had supported his father in court. Albus, well, Albus hadn't known what to think. He had always been the most naive of Harry's children and the divorce had torn him up. Albus had chosen to seperate himself from the divorce entirely and continued on as if nothing had happened, but Harry had seen the look of pained betrayal and confusion on his face during court when all of his mother's dirty secrets were aired for whole world to see. Harry had taken him aside and told him that he didn't have to choose between them, that no matter what he was their son and was loved. It had helped the boy, but Albus had still thrown himself into his studies, ignoring the world around him in true Ravenclaw fashion.

In spite of her tears and arguments, Ginny ended up with very little of his estate and what she had he gave her freely just to get the bloody divorce over with. All she had done was embarrass herself, her family, and her parents while earning the ire of most folk. He doubted she even knew how bad off she was now and wondered when she would realize that all of her 'friends' were only friends with her due to his influence and her now former wealth. She was in for a hard lesson, but despite all of the pain she caused him, he wished her well. He just never wanted her in his sight ever again and couldn't stand to even look at her because if he did then all those years would come rushing back to him. Harry was afraid he might forgive her again and he hated that about himself, hated how she made his hard earned pride disappear.

"At least it's over with now." Harry muttered to himself, taking a swallow of the whiskey and closing his eyes to savor the burn. He'd always been a whiskey man, enjoying the pain that came with each gulp and always drank it straight. "Here's to being a bachelor again."

Someone knocked on his study door and he paused before taking another gulp. All he wanted to do was get very drunk and forget the world for a little while, but he knew only one person in the house who ever knocked on his door and that was Lily. She always made an attempt to respect his one place of retreat or his 'man cave' as she called it, mostly because her brothers never bothered to do so. He licked his lips, catching the remains of his last sip before calling out, "Come in, Lily!"

Lily opened the door and peeked her head in, smiling when she saw he was alone. She entered the study, shutting the dark wood door behind her and making her way across the lush burgundy carpet that had been a 'don't send me to Azkaban' gift from Malfoy after the Battle of Hogwarts along with the several suits of medieval armor that decorated his study. As always, she gazed at the tapestries that hung over the wood paneled walls with interest. Lily had an interest in their family history and the adventures of his youth which the tapestries depicted. After a moment, she took a seat in the burgundy armchair that sat in front of his desk. The chair was one of a pair, the other he was currently sitting in.

"Hey Daddy." She greeted quietly, crossing one long leg over the other. He hated how beautiful she was sometimes since it had caused him no small amount of grief, especially when it came to chasing off Malfoy's spawn. That was one persistent little bastard, Harry had to give Scorpius that if nothing else. He idly noted that she was still wearing the black dress from court and looked dressed for a funeral. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine." Harry answered shortly, not wanting to talk about the thrice cursed divorce. He was sick of discussing it with everyone: Ron, Hermione, Arthur, even Blaise of all people! Blaise, who was now on his fifth wife (no divorces) and had evaded Harry for years had showed up to console him. Damned snake was too slick to leave any evidence behind leading to a cat and mouse game between them that had lasted over a decade. He saw her skeptical look and caved, "I feel like I just went ten rounds with Voldemort....actually, I might have preferred if that had happened instead."

"That bad, huh?" Lily winced sympathetically, scratching her chin as she observed her father with a critical eye. Her Daddy was a very good looking man, one of the few who actually became more handsome as they grew older although he wasn't even out of his mid thirties. Age had only made him look more distinguished, even elegant in her opinion. His once messy black hair was long now, brushing his shoulders and tamed by the weight. On his chin was a neatly trimmed goatee of bristly black hair that used to tickle her as a child when he kissed her goodnight. "Luckily for you, I handled the press after the court was adjourned."

"Oh Merlin, that's just what I need!" Harry groaned sarcastically, getting a quick smile from her. Lily had the enviable talent to misdirect the media with innuendo and half-truths that were mixed carefully with facts, not to mention her very strong personal opinions. "Should I expect your mother to be lynched, then?"

"Maybe." Lily shrugged uncaringly, showing her complete apathy for Ginny. His daughter had always held her mother in contempt, though he was never able to understand why they couldn't along, even when Lily was a child she had hated her mother. "But you'll look great in the morning edition. I even provided them with a photo. The press is easy to manipulate. I have no idea why you think it's so hard, Daddy."

"That's because you have more political savvy in your pinky than I do in my body. All of those Slytherin power games and schemes were good practice, I guess." Harry snorted, taking another generous gulp that finished off the glass. He reached for the bottle, but Lily beat him to it and sat on the edge of his desk, holding the decanter teasingly.

"You know that you shouldn't drink so much." She chided, hypocritically pouring him a full glass of the scotch before handing it to him. He took it, but didn't drink yet, watching those clever brown eyes of her's warily. He loved his daughter to death, but he didn't always trust her motives. She was an ambitious girl. "You don't want a belly like Uncle Ron, do you?"

"Point." He conceded, taking a gulp nonetheless. Self-consciously, he patted his stomach to reassure himself that he was still in fighting shape. He had made it a point to exercise fervently, wanting to be at peak physical condition should he need to defend his family from any up and coming Dark Wizards. That and he had watched a muggle documentary on lions, particularly what happened to old lions unable to defend their pride. "I dread the morning edition. No doubt the entire Corps will have a copy. Bloody embarrassing is what it is."

"I know it will be difficult, Daddy, but don't worry, I made you look very good." Lily assured him, looking pleased with herself. She paused and took a deep breath, "I've thinking that maybe now is a good time to retire from the Auror Corps and take up the Potter Seat on the Wizengamot. You've more than done your part in the field. I mean, you basically wrote the book on being an Auror and have trained every recruit for almost twenty years. Daddy, it's time to move up in the world. Kingsley would love to have you as the Head of the DMLE."

"Lily, I'm a fighter. It's what I do best. In a very real sense, it's what I was born to do." Harry explained, having heard the conversation before. "Creevy's good, but he can't do the things I can and he doesn't have the same political pull. If Teddy was older, I'd say yes in a heartbeat, but he's still in training and besides that he already has his plate full sitting in the Black Seat."

"I still think that you shouldn't have relinquished that." She stated with a pout, causing him to roll his eyes. "Teddy wasn't ready for the responsibility."

"You just want control of that seat. Lily, I made myself a promise long ago that when Teddy came of age I would give him control of House Black. It might not technically be his birthright, but the lordship is mine to delegate as I please and I chose him." Harry stated tiredly, not wanting to hear any more on the subject. As far as he was concerned, the matter was closed. "Honey, I know that you have your plans and your little schemes, but I've always done what I feel is right. Just like I feel it's the right thing to pass on the responsibility of leading the House of Potter to you one day."

"C'mon, Daddy, it's not like there was much choice. Albus doesn't care one bit about politics and I still have nightmares about Sirius becoming Lord Potter." Lily rolled her eyes in the same manner her father had moments earlier, but there was a small pleased smile on her ruby lips. "I just want to make you proud."

"You do." He said bluntly, swirling the amber liquid inside the glass. He leaned forward to look her in the eyes, "Lily, you are the most powerful witch of your generation. Loads stronger than I was when I was your age. Not to forget that you know far more about this sort of stuff than I ever will."

"Only because you hate politics." She pointed out ruefully with a small grin, taking the glass out of his hands and swallowing a bit of the whiskey before handing it back. He glared at her disapprovingly, but she just shot him an entirely too innocent look, then ruined it by smacking her lips. "Hmm, that is some nice stuff. Thirty years old and with a hint of....oak?"

"Fifty years and you know that I don't like you drinking." Harry corrected, giving her a brief stern look that she ignored. "You're too young."

"I'm sixteen, Daddy. You were nearly my age when you had your first drink." Lily defended, shooting him a look that Harry ignored. "And don't pretend that I haven't been sneaking sips out of your liquor cabinet for the last two years."

"You know, you aren't too old for me to bend you over my knee." Harry threatened casually, guardedly drinking his whiskey and watching her suspiciously in case she tried to steal another sip. Well, at least she wasn't replacing what she used to drink up with water anymore. It had been particularly horrifying for him to find his best scotch watered down.

"Promise?" Lily teased with a daring smirk, watching with much satisfaction as he choked on his drink. He was so easy to mess with that she almost felt sorry for him. Of course, the fact that she had very much enjoyed her past spankings was going to be her little secret. That did not mean she couldn't mess with his head a little more and she put on an overly erotic voice, "Oh, spank me Daddy! Yeah! Harder!"

"Stop! Just.....stop! Please." Harry begged, not wanting hear any more and quickly took comfort in his scotch. She smiled victoriously. "I do not need to hear my daughter sounding like...that. It's too disturbing."

"I don't know. I thought it was kind of fun." She snickered, before hopping off of his desk and walked around it to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Well, it's been an exhausting day so I'm going to bed. Don't sit up here all night drinking, 'kay?"

"Alright." Harry agreed, lying through his teeth. She lovingly patted the cheek she had just kissed and gave a smile as she headed for the door. "Sweet dreams, Lily."

"Goodnight, Daddy." She called back sweetly, exiting the door and shutting it behind her. Lily waited a few moments to make sure it was safe before she allowed herself to smirk smugly.

Her plan had gone off without a hitch, just as she had expected it to. Her mother was ruined, her Daddy's wealth remained intact, and nobody suspected her, not even Daddy. Lily had always hated her mother and she had many reasons why. One reason was that her father was the most honorable and loyal man that she knew, so it had rubbed her wrong to see her whore of a mother betraying him time and time again. Her mother had ripped his heart to pieces and Lily could never forgive that fact or forget it. Ginny was controlling, hateful, and stuck her nose into Lily's business far too often.

Not to mention, her mother was the only other woman in her Daddy's life and Lily did not tolerate competition, not even from her own mother. She was the only girl her Daddy needed and it was only a matter of time until he also realized that, so she had helped things along a bit. Finnigan had been far too afraid of her Daddy to ever confess the truth, so Lily had to ply him with charms and suggestive potions before planting the thought into his head. She had learned the memory charm Obliviate just to erase any chance of him recalling her involvement. All she had to do to set it all up was confide her 'suspicions' to Aunt Hermione and let the overly righteous muggleborn handle the rest. It had worked out so beautifully.

Lily was well aware that she looked at her Daddy a bit differently than other girls, but none of them had a father quite like her's. None of their fathers were as handsome, as powerful, or as noble as he was. They all wanted to find the 'perfect' man, but she was raised by him and never found anyone who even compared to him. She only trusted her Daddy, there were no other males worth consideration. All of the other guys were idiots and weaklings, either cowards or too overcome by their lust to do anything but hump her leg like a dog. It was annoying, but proved her point that they were all worthless, even Sirius. Albus, well, Albus was useful and knew how to keep a secret, so he was the rare exception.

One day, she would be Lady Potter and the Minister of Magic. When that happened, she was going to lead the Wizarding World into golden age not seen since the time of Merlin and even he had only managed to make it last twenty years. She would do better. Lily Luna Potter was determined to do her family proud and make her Daddy happy. Nobody, NOBODY, was going to prevent her from doing that. Not even her Daddy. A long time ago when she was a little girl, Lily had promised her Daddy that when she grew up she was going to marry him and intended to keep that promise. Some people would say it was immoral or against the law, well she was just going to have to changed those laws then. She'd make it right.

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