Confessions of Cops and Witches, part 2
Dani returns next week to her AA meeting to find Willow there again.******
A Week Later, Same Place…
Dani was a little surprised as she came into the AA meeting late that the redhead – Willow, from last week was there again. Where she had looked sad and tired last week, this week she looked exhausted.
Dani sat across from her again and saw that Willow’s hands were trembling a little. Dani looked to her own hands, they were solid and strong, but she had seen then shake when she wanted a fix, when she was stressed and just that one fix would steady them. Willow was probably under a lot of stress, the need for something ‘extra’ when that happened.
The meeting was almost over when Dani pulled herself up and went to the front. She looked over the crowd and her eyes locked on Willow’s who was watching.
“My name is Dani,” she told them. “I’m an addict and I’m eight months sober.” She was quiet for a moment. “I was on the job when I got caught up, faster than I thought was possible in the world of drugs. I thought I was tough enough to beat anything, to be anything. The whole damn world just comes down too fast and suddenly – you find yourself a junkie, and your life and career are going down the tubes.”
She cleared her throat a little as she looked to the wood grain on the podium. “I still get looks at the office, everyone knows, but they don’t know what it’s like, you think you’re doin’ the right thing at the time, and it fucks you up.”
This was more than she usually ever let out. She looked to Willow. “You deal with it every day, you know? Every day and when you’re done with that one, you realize you’ve done okay and then you work on the next.”
She nodded at that and sat down, they clapped for her. She looked to her hands, not daring to look up at Willow but she could feel her eyes on her.
Normally she left before the meet and greet happened afterwards but she didn’t have anything pressing at work for the evening. She found herself with a cup of coffee by the corner of the wall not talking with anyone. This was how she usually was at these, she had the ‘wall’ up around her. The cop wall, don’t come in unless you want to be in trouble.
She glanced over to see Willow come her way with a bottle of water. “Dani, right?” Willow said holding out her hand.
Dani nodded a little and took it. “Willow, from last week, I remember.”
Willow nodded back. “Thank you, for what you said.”
Dani shrugged it off. “Life of a junkie, you never get to let it go,” she said self depreciatingly.
Willow smiled slightly at that and nodded. “Sometimes you think it’s forgotten until things happen and everyone wonders if you’ll fall off the wagon,” she said softly.
Dani nodded silently at that and they were quiet for a moment. She sipped on her coffee as Willow watched around them. Dani noticed that too. It wasn’t the normal, checking people out. It was the trained cop version. Who was what, where were the exits, that type of thing. Willow didn’t look like a cop, or a fed, that made her curious about this woman.
Willow looked back at her. “I’m a little hungry? You?”
Dani blinked at this. Usually people were put off by her ‘wall’ of don’t bother me. This didn’t seem to phase the redhead at all. She looked into her eyes and saw that Willow wasn’t scared of her, and she was sincere. Finally she nodded. “Sure.”
Willow smiled just a little at that. “Where’s a good ex-junkie place to eat around here?” she asked as they wandered out of the room.
“Chinese is usually good,” Dani replied as she opened the door for the redhead and the two walked out. End