It Could Have Been Worse
a Buffy/Scream 2/Dawson's Creek Crossover
by Benji The Vampire Confuser
Buffy and Co belong to Joss Whedon, Kevin Williamson gets credit for Scream 1 and 2, and for Dawson's Creek. I'm using the Dawson's Creek people because one of the folks in Randy's Film Class was Pacey. Or the actor who plays him anyway.
Buffy woke with a start, her alarm blaring. She quickly slammed her hand down on it. And regretted it. "Boy," she mumbled. "They really make alarm clocks flimsy these days.
Cordelia merely shook her head and sighed. "Geez Buffy," she smiled. "We get you away from that Hellmouth and you just go after the next best thing."
"Oh shush." Buffy said. "Don't you have a class?"
"The professor canceled it." Cordelia told her. "Steve and Maureen got killed last night."
"What?" Buffy was instantly awake. "Dead? How?"
"Chill," her roommate soothed. "They were stabbed. Nothing supernatural. It's just because of that movie."
"Oh please." Buffy began dressing for the day. "I refuse to believe that somebody went postal because Leonardo Di Caprio wasn't in it."
Cordelia shook her head again and left.
Buffy sighed. Her second year here and she was already in a sorority. "I can't believe Cordy talked me into it." she muttered.
"Hey Buffy!" a voice called. Buffy turned and saw a familiar face approaching.
"Morning Pacey." she greeted the boy. "Where's Dawson?"
"Throwing up." Pacey told her. "Not pretty. He's really pissed that he has to miss film class today."
"Yeah," Buffy agreed. "What with the whole Movie Theater Murder there's sure to be a nice debate today. Bummer." Then she spotted Xander and his roommate Randy headed for the same class. "But it won't be a total loss." she said. "Xander always tapes every lecture."
"Does he listen to them later?"
"No. So he won't miss the tape."
"You could say," the teacher said. "That what happened in that theater, is a direct result of the movie itself."
"That is so moral majority." Buffy disagreed. "You can't blame real life violence on entertainment."
"What?" a black student put in. "Yes you can. Don't you watch the news?"
"Yeah," Pacey agreed. "Hello, the murderer was wearing a ghost mask, okay? Just like in the movie, it's directly responsible."
"No it's not." Buffy insisted. "Movies are not responsible for our actions."
"It's a classic case of life, imitating art, imitating life." Mickey explained, almost as if to a child.
"This is not a hypothetical," a female student said, becoming upset. "It's not about art. I had biology with that girl, this is reality."
"Thank you." Randy sighed. "I agree with you. Let me tell you about reality Mickey. I lived through this. Okay? Life is life. It doesn't imitate anything."
"C'mon Randy," Mickey said, disgusted. "With all due respect, the killer obviously patterned himself after two serial killers, who have been immortalized on film."
Buffy shook her head sadly. She could really sympathize with Randy's plight. Suppose someone made a movie of her escapades? She stifled a laugh. What would they call it? Buffy: The Vampire Slayer?
"Thank you." Pacey smiled. To him it was obvious.
"Are you suggesting," the teacher asked skeptically. "That someone is trying to make a real life sequel?"
"Stab Two?" Randy laughed. "Who'd want to do that? Sequels suck!" His remark did not win him any friends.
Though she agreed, Buffy was surprised he'd said it.
"Hey c'mon man!" Pacey objected.
"Oh please, please!" Randy said above the complaints. "By definition alone they're inferior films!"
"A bullshit generalization," Mickey spoke up. "Many sequels have surpassed their originals."
"Oh yeah?" Randy challenged.
"Name one." Buffy told him.
Mickey smiled, but his mind drew a blank.
"Aliens." the black boy grinned. "Far better than the first."
"Yeah well," Buffy sighed. "There's no accounting for taste."
"Thank you, Ridley Scott rules." Randy agreed. "Name another."
"No, Aliens is a classic okay?" Pacey defended his favorite film, it sucked that Dawson was missing this. "Get away from her you bitch!" He made a gun noise.
"I believe the line is stay
away from her you bitch." Randy told him. He turned to the teacher. "It's film class right?"
Buffy laughed with the rest of the class. She loved Randy. He was great.
"Yeah yeah," Pacey stood corrected. "You know what I mean."
"He got you." the black student smiled.
"Another." Randy repeated.
"T2." Mickey announced. Many agreed.
"You've got a hard on for Cameron." Buffy smiled at him.
"A big one." Randy mouthed to Buffy.
"But wait a second," the black boy interjected. "The first Terminator is historical."
"Yeah." Pacey agreed.
"Sarah Connor?" Randy imitated Arnold. "Yes?" he said in falsetto, then mimed blowing someone away, complete with sound effects.
"All right, all right, okay," Pacey said over the laughter. "House Two, the Second Story." He knew the groans would be coming, and he wasn't disappointed.
"What?" Buffy asked, not sure if he was serious or not.
"The horror genre was destroyed by sequels." Randy said, as if Pacey had proved his point. Mickey threw a paper ball at him.
"All right I got it, by the way. I got it." Mickey said over the din. "The Godfather, Part 2."
The entire class had to agree with him there. Randy was still a hold out however. "My God," he imitated the Godfather. "That's an Oscar winning," he was drowned out by laughter.
"All right," the teacher said, putting an end to the fun. "That's enough, that'll be a rap. The sequel discussion, to be continued." he punned.
Buffy saw Randy looking out the door. Sydney must be out there. He got up and headed for the door.
"All right," the girl sitting behind Pacey said. "Mr. Originality, how would you make it different?"
"I'd let the geek, get the girl."
"I noticed you were awfully quiet today." Buffy told Xander as they exited the classroom.
"Yeah well," Xander said. "I've lived with Randy for pretty much this whole year. I read the book, heard Randy talk about it...Randy lost some good friends when that happened. I just couldn't think of a single joke. A first for me I'll admit.
"You however made many great points. Though I still think that Vampires would a lot less dangerous if they didn't watch TV."
"Hey Buffy! Xander!" they heard themselves being hailed. Turning, they found Willow running in their direction. "Wait up!" she called.
When she reached them, she took a few moments to catch her breath. "Did you hear?" she asked, her eyes wide. "At the theater?"
"Yeah," Xander told her. "We heard."
"Boy did we hear." Buffy smiled. "There was a huge argument in Film Theory today."
"Jen and Joey are never gonna believe this when they come down." Dawson smiled. He sat in his bed, poised to run to the bathroom if it proved necessary.
"I'll go along with that." Pacey smiled. "But they'll know before then. I'm e-mailing them now."
"I feel so sorry for Randy." Willow said, watching the group of friends consisting of Randy, Sydney, Hallie, Derek and Mickey a few feet ahead of them. "He has such a huge crush on Syd."
"Yeah I guess we can all relate to that." Xander grinned at Buffy.
"Hey there's Oz and Cordy." Buffy said, changing the subject. "What's that crowd they're watching?" Picking up the pace, they joined their friends at the edge of said crowd.
"What's this?" Willow asked.
"Press conference." Oz explained. "The chief of police called it about the murders last night."
"Oh my God!" Cordelia realized. "That's Gale Weathers!"
"Horrible blood bath survivor and best selling Author." Xander quipped.
"Hey guys." Randy said, arriving in their midst.
"Hey Roomie." Xander greeted. "How you holding up?"
"I'm alive." Randy said. "That'll do for now."
"Randy," Cordy smiled sweetly. "Do you suppose you could introduce me to Gale?"
Randy laughed. "I'm not sure I'd wish that on anyone."
"I'm making fun of her not you!" he hastily added.
"What's that she's saying?" Willow asked, not able to really hear Ms. Weathers."
"Sounded like Do you think someone's copycatting Woodsboro." Oz told her. Buffy gasped.
"Xander, Randy," she said. "What was that Mr. Matthews said in class today? Someone's trying to make a sequel?"
"Oh God not you too." Randy sighed. "I'm gonna go be paranoid with the girl of my dreams. See ya." He knew they all knew that he liked Syd, he also knew they wouldn't try to play matchmaker. That's why he liked them. One of the reasons anyway.
"Buffy," Cordy said. "You really can't put this Slayer business aside can you?"
"Guys, what if someone really is trying to duplicate the Woodsboro murders?" Buffy asked. "Xander, you're Randy's room mate, Willow you're friends with Derek, Syd's boyfriend. And I'm a blond. We could all be targets."
Willow whimpered, but Oz's hand on her shoulder comforted her. "Buffy," she reassured her friend. "You're the Slayer. You've beaten up Demons. I think you can handle a mortal Serial Killer."
"Hey Buffy," a new voice greeted her.
"Oh," Buffy said hesitantly. "Hi Ted." She still wasn't sure how she felt about Ted. Sure he was cute, and he could be a charmer, he was also a drinker.
"So here I am," Buffy thought. "Missing out on my life 'cause I'm being the responsible one. Ah well, at least my life isn't in danger this time." She sat eating pizza, flicking channels, and talking on the phone.
"I love those guys," Willow said over the phone. "Are they still together? I haven't seen it in like three weeks."
"No," Buffy told her. "They broke up again."
"Ummmhmmm. Sarah found out that Baily slept with Gwen. She dumped him like two episodes ago."
"God, I wish she'd get her shit together."
A beep announced the presence of another caller.
"Hold on," Buffy said. "Someone's calling." She switched lines. "Omega Beta Zeta." she greeted.
"Hello." a mysterious voice said.
"Who is this?"
"Buffy. Who's this?"
"Who do you think?"
"Ted? Where are you, are you drinking? Hold on." She switched lines. "Ted's on the other line, he sounds drunk. Call you back?"
"That shit only calls you when he's drunk. Don't go over there Buffy."
"All right. I'll call you back." She switched lines again. Willow had certainly gotten a bit of a potty mouth in college she mused.
"Okay Ted, you sound loaded. What's up?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, my bad. I thought you were someone else."
"That's okay, I am."
"Who were you calling for? Nobody's here."
"Where is everybody?"
"We're co-sponsoring the acid rain mixer at Phi Lambda Alpha tonight."
"Why aren't you there?"
"I'm sober sister. I need to be here in case a drunk sister calls and needs a ride."
"That's too bad."
"Drink with your brain," Buffy said philosophically. "That's our motto. Who are you calling for?"
"What if I said you?"
"What if I said goodbye?"
"Why would you wanna do that?"
"Why do you always answer a question with a question?"
"Yeah, and I'm impatient. Look do you wanna leave a message for someone?"
"Do you wanna die tonight Buffy?" the voice asked threateningly.
Buffy switched lines as another call came in.
"Omega Beta Zeta," she said, going to the door.
"So was it Teddy?" Willow asked.
"No, it was some creep asshole trying to scare me." She locked the door.
"It's that movie Stab." Willow said. "It's bringing out the crazies."
Buffy jumped, as she heard a noise upstairs. "Here we go again." she thought. "Shit." she said out loud.
"What is it?" Willow asked.
"I heard a noise."
She headed for the stairs, going back into Slayer mode as if she never left. She heard another noise. "Shit."
"Hello?" she called upstairs. The Friday the 13th music came from the phone. Obviously Willow wasn't too worried. Vamps couldn't come in unless invited. But Buffy wasn't taking any chances. "Stop it." she insisted.
"I can't believe you're alone in that house."
"I don't think I'm alone." Buffy told her, and another noise from the second floor confirmed her suspicions. "I'm outta here."
She ran to the door and outside.
"You're breaking up," Willow said through static. "Where are you?"
"Don't panic or anything. Call campus security."
"Okay." Buffy said, and hung up. She cautiously went back to the door, dialing.
"Campus security," There was still more static.
"Hi, I'm calling from the Zeta house-"
"I can't hear you, sorry, hello?"
Buffy went closer to the house. "Can you hear me now?"
"Hello?" He hung up.
"Shit." Buffy swore again.
She went inside and tried again. She still couldn't get through. Suddenly, a sister came from the room behind her.
"Shit!" Buffy gasped, scared half to death. It had been too long, she was out of practice with danger. "Jesus Donna you scared me."
"Sorry," Donna apologized. "Did anyone call for me?"
"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, not paying attention, she was listening for more sounds upstairs.
"I live here. Remember?"
"I just thought you were going to the mixer."
"Yeah," Donna said, getting her purse, Buffy following. "I had to change, so I'll be outta here now." The phone rang. Expecting a call, Donna grabbed it from Buffy's hand and answered. "Omega Beta Zeta."
"Is Buffy there?" The Voice asked.
"Ummhmm. Who's calling?"
She handed the phone to Buffy. "It's your ill conceived boy friend." she said. "Okay so I'll see you later," she said, heading for the door. "And don't forget to set the alarm." She left, and Buffy locked the door behind her.
"Hello Ted." Buffy sighed.
"You wish it was Ted. Don't forget to set the alarm." Buffy dropped the phone and ran to the alarm, setting it quickly.
Turning, she headed through the ground floor of the house, ready for anything. She reached an open door and checked behind it. Nothing. A phone on a hall table rang. Taking a deep breath, she picked up the receiver.
Someone burst from the closet behind her, wielding a knife. All she knew however was that the door behind her had opened. She whirled around, yanking the phone cord from the wall and swinging the phone towards her attacker.
They were wearing the costume from Stab, the same one the killer wore in the movie theater. The man or woman skidded to a halt as the phone rushed at their head, they obviously weren't expecting her to fight back. "Pick the wrong victim?" Buffy asked, as the phone smashed into the masked figure's head. They hit the floor, hard.
Buffy smiled. "Still got it." she grinned. She took the time to securely tie the now comatose killer with the phone cord, and went to get the portable phone. Time to call the authorities. That could have been worse.
Cordelia sat on Xander's lap as they made out. The party raged around them, Randy flirting heavily with the sorority girls. Hallie was trying to draw Sydney out of her protective shell. A typical mixer.
"Hey!" someone called. "Check out what's going on at the Zeta house!"
Xander and Cordy broke their kiss and said simultaneously; "Buffy!"
Much to their relief, they found their friend alive and well. And answering questions posed by the police.
"No, I've never seen her before." Buffy explained. "I have no idea why she would attack me."
Sydney watched as the police brought the unconscious killer out of the house. Derek, Randy and Mickey joined her, Dewey and Gale were already there.
"Well Syd," Derek asked. "Anyone you know?"
"Mrs. Loomis!" Sydney, Randy and Dewey said at the same time.
"Who?" Mickey asked. "Oh wait, don't tell me, um, Billy's mom!" He thought for a moment. "Now that's an interesting twist."
"Billy's mother?" Gale asked in confusion. "But, that's Debbie Salt, she writes for the local paper. I've seen pictures of Mrs. Loomis."
"This is a lot of work later apparently." Randy quipped.
Oz's van pulled up and Willow and her boyfriend leaped out. "Buffy are you okay?" Willow asked.
"Yeah I'm fine." Buffy confirmed. "Just a little confused. Who's Mrs. Loomis?"
"Billy Loomis' mother." Xander explained to her. "Billy was one of the killers in Woodsboro."
"Well," Oz said. "Looks like this sequel came to a premature end."
"Not necessarily." Mickey said, overhearing. "Remember, there were two killers in Woodsboro."
"And in a bizarre twist," Gale said, successfully keeping the worry out of her voice. "The mother of Woodsboro Killer Billy Loomis who had apparently begun to duplicate her son's behavior, has been killed."
The two policemen on duty in the police station had been found dead by the officers who'd come to relieve them. As had Debbie Salt.
"Okay," Xander said, nearby. He, Randy, Syd, Dewey and Oz were watching Gale give the update on the Windsor College Murders. "Whoever the second killer is, obviously didn't want Ms. Salt-"
"Mrs. Loomis." Syd, Dewey and Randy all corrected him at the same time.
"Right, whatever." Xander conceded. "Anyway, whoever it was obviously didn't want her to talk."
"Yeah that's pretty much what I figured too." Oz said. "So, we're thinking what, someone who knows you?" he asked Sydney.
"Yeah pretty much." Syd said. "But I don't know how to figure out who-"
The payphone beside them began to ring.
"I'm not answering that." Xander insisted. The phone kept ringing.
"They must be nearby." Oz reasoned. "How else would they know we were here?"
"Good point." Randy said. "Let's fan out and see who might be calling. Oz, answer it."
"When did he get put in charge?" Dewey wondered.
Oz shrugged and went to the phone. "Hello."
"Hiya Ozzy." The Voice greeted.
"Good voice recognition." Oz complimented.
"Your friends will never find me."
"Or maybe it's possible you can see us." Oz amended.
"How's your mousy little girlfriend?"
"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that about Willow." Oz said. "And if I may interject a cliché, if you touch her, I'll kill you. Or at least hire someone to."
"Sure, whatever Guitar Boy. So, what's your favorite scary movie?"
"Are you stalling for time here?" Oz asked. "Cause I kinda thought that was my job."
"Just building the suspense. So what IS your favorite?"
"I don't really watch horror much." he smiled. "Truth is definitely at least as strange as fiction these days. But if I had to pick a favorite, I'd have to say Wolfman." He tried to make his voice sound threatening, but he wasn't in the habit of doing so, so he wasn't sure if he succeeded.
"But which one?" The Voice asked. "The original or one of the remakes?"
"Skip it. Let's play a guessing game. Which one of your friends is about to die?"
Dewey froze. He'd become separated from the rest, but in the meantime, he believed he'd found the perfect hiding place for the killer. The Newsvan. He approached cautiously, only when he was within striking distance did he turn to look for the others.
The sliding side door on the van flew open, and Dewey was jerked inside by the Killer. He felt a stabbing pain in his back.
"Oh shit," he thought through the pain. "Not again."
Oz's eyes widened when he heard the shouts of pain through the phone. He dropped the phone in shock and quickly scanned the quad. He had to find the others. Fast. His eyes lit on the News Van. It was rocking back and forth. He ran towards it, getting the attention of the others on the way.
Xander was the first to reach the van, but shrank back when he saw blood dripping from the crack at the bottom of the sliding door. Gale gulped when she realized who was missing, and opened the door. Dewey lay on his stomach, five wounds in his back. On the front seat of the van lay the mask that the Killer wore.
Gale sank to her knees, too shocked to even scream. Sydney however, approached the van and felt Dewey's neck.
"Oh my God!" she shouted. "Somebody call an ambulance! He's still alive!"
Gale got in the back of the Ambulance with Dewey just before it drove away. The others watched in silence.
"So," Cotton muttered. "I guess the lesson here is, never stab Dewey in the back if you want to kill him." He smiled at his own joke, but no one else thought it amusing. Sydney shook her head in disgust and walked away.
"What?" he asked, then, realizing the faux pas he'd just committed, sighed.
"Well," Oz said, as he and Willow walked to the Gym that evening. "I think we can pretty much rule out a whole lot of
"Yeah," Willow said. "Randy, Sydney, and Gale were all present and accounted for."
"And," Oz added. "To be fair, so were Xander and I. And Buffy'd already been attacked."
"So that leaves, Derek, Hallie, Mickey, Cotton, Cordelia and me." Willow said. "And, I personally can rule out me. I mean, for one thing, I'm not big enough to overpower Dewey, limp and all."
"I'm not positive Cordelia is either." Oz reasoned. "And you know how she is with blood. So, Derek, Hallie, Mickey, and Cotton." Oz paused to open the door. He'd gotten a job in the gym, so he had a key. "Hallie we can probably rule out for the same reason as you and Cordy." he said. They reached the cage that the sports equipment was kept in. Oz unlocked it and handed the key to Willow. "So that leaves Derek, Mickey and Cotton."
"Actually," Willow said, kissing Oz goodnight. "Xander and Randy were talking about that. Randy said that since the Boyfriend being the killer has been done, the killer will want to break some new ground."
"Good point." Oz granted. "See you tomorrow. And Willow, be careful." He started to close the cage door behind him.
"Oz, wait." Willow said. Oz stopped, the door just short of being closed. "What about the camera man?"
A black cloaked figure, Ghostface, leapt from the large locker just behind Willow and tackled her.
"Willow!" Oz cried, and suddenly clutched his stomach in pain.
Willow rolled, throwing her attacker off balance and ran. Behind her, the masked figure rose quickly to chase her. She heard his or her footsteps behind her, gaining, then she heard a new sound. A furious snarl and a scream of horror and pain. Oz to the rescue. She quickly found a locker big enough to hold her, and hid herself therein.
She cringed as she heard the sounds of Oz making doggy chow out of the killer. Then she heard a sharp report of a rifle, and the yelp of a dog in minor pain. She poked her head out of the locker and saw Xander, holding the tranquilizer rifle, and Randy, staring in shock and horror at the sight before him. An Unconscious Werewolf, and a very dead Mickey.
"You forgot the Tranq gun." Xander said simply.
"Oh my God," Randy murmured. "It was Mickey."
"You're not going to tell anyone are you?" Willow asked anxiously. "I mean, about Oz being a-"
"Don't worry," Randy assured her. "I won't tell a soul. But what do we tell Oz?"
"That he saved Willow's life." Xander insisted. "And that's all."
"What do we tell the others?" Willow asked.
Xander shrugged. "Wild dog?"