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Summary: Willow's in NY helping a slayer. And at home. Trying to figure out what went wrong (First person present, third person past.)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
CSI > CSI New YorkMistyFR131912,8580310,84029 Sep 0813 Sep 09No

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Neither CSI or Buffy are mine. Wish they were!

PS: Song: Real World by D-Side. Also not mine.


How are you? Is life treating you well? Did everything go the way you planned it? Is everyone ok?*

For two weeks I have been sat at this computer & that's all I have to show for it. This is the love of my life & I’m just wasting words. Don't you just love words! I mean....

"How's that report coming along?"

"Oh fine, nothing to worry about."

"Good. Back to work."

"Yes sir."

& whose idea was it for me to work here!!

*I miss you so much it kills me. The days run into one another & my heart sinks knowing you're not by my side and that I am not by yours. Where we belong.*

"You look stuck"

"No, I’m fine."

"Let me guess: missing someone?"

"That obvious?"


"I’ll get back to work"

"Good idea"

They’re all really cool, but my minds not here. It never was. This is torture. Please someone release me from it.

*Every time I walk down the street I see you. From the leaves blowing in the wind to looking in the shop windows. I would so love for you to show me around.*

"Your report."

"Fantastic. You look pale. Take the rest of the day off."

"Yes sir"

"Oh, and good work"


Freedom. To do what?

*I never told you this but my life changed when I met you. It went from black-n-white to colour from your looks and my breath disappeared when the personality came out, it still does. Put simply: my brain is mush around you. And... I love the feeling.*

I pocket the disk and close down. I’m on auto-pilot and I don't remember collecting my stuff and leaving the building. I walk to the local sandwich place and get my usual, nothing more than a 'Hi' is exchanged. I walk over to the park across the road and as I start to pick at my sandwich I realize I need this downtime. Funny, I never noticed the time fly.

*it’s been over three months since I last saw you. Has it really been that long? It only feels like yesterday I saw you last. I stopped living that day and i haven't come alive yet.*

As I remind myself I’m on downtime, I relax and watch the view. Man with black dog in top left corner. Keep-fit class with... twenty-two members and one teacher in top right. Mother and baby in playground in bottom left. And six-a-side soccer game in progress in the bottom right. Behind me the bustling city makes the same noise all cities make. A mixture of the raised voices, the loud honks, the smashing closure of doors and the oh so very present smell so unique to cities.

*I heard a song yesterday on the radio and all I could think of was you:

Last night I dreamt you were lying beside me
I smell the sweetness of your hair
You gently reached out to remind me
Of how it used to be
And I almost believed that this morning I’d find you still here

But here in the real world
I miss you madly in the real world
I’m coping badly with losing you
What am I to do? Here in the real world
Without you

Last night I dreamt of a different ending
Everything just seemed to work out, somehow
I saw that someday I could smile again
Without pretending
I was so sure I would wake up, and I wouldn’t need you right now

But here, here in the real world
I miss you madly in the real world
I’m coping badly with losing you
What am I to do? Here in the real world
Without you

Friends tell me I must no longer look back,
Where sooner or else just head on the track
And my stars says that I’m getting over the fact that you’re gone

But here, here in the real world
I miss you madly in the real world
I’m coping badly with losing you
What am I to do? Here in the real world
Without you

Here in the real world
I am lost without you

I miss you so much. Why are you not here? Tell me. Where are you? Are you even still alive? Can’t you see, I'm dying without you! Please come back to me!*

I walk out of the park after dumping my rubbish in the bin. I start to walk to my car and I look up. I shake my head, I must be dreaming. Another illusion my heart is creating to ease me. I’m so lost here, my compass is gone and I can’t get you back.

"Hello! You ok?"

"Yeah. Just thinking."

"Cent for them?"

"They cost too much, but thank you for trying."

"You’re welcome Willow."

"Have you?"

"No. I’m sorry Willow."

We walk together back to my car. The journey to it is silent and I am grateful. She squeezes my shoulder and leaves to find her own vehicle. I unlock and sink into the seat. I rest my head on the wheel, hoping for a break from this pain, but I’m not that lucky. Goddess! Where are you!?! And how did it get to this?

Chapter 1:

*I got a call which started this.*

14 months earlier:

Willow put the phone down and winced. All these women lives changed. The call being a case in point. One of the girls in question, an ex-pupil in fact, had called with a strange request.

“Will! My bud, my pal!”

“Call the gang Xan, I’m calling a meeting.”

“Kay.” Xander Harris’s puzzled face only making her smile.

20 minutes later and everyone Willow wanted to speak to was in the beautiful conference room. (The Xavierish Mansion in Cleveland more than perfect for their needs.) As she looked around she saw the Terrible Twosome doing their usual tip-tapping, their chemistry drowning out everything else in its wake. Why was it that only she could see it? Why was she the only one to notice what was happening between the two? Her gaze moved over to her two best friends, ironically talking. No. Gossiping about the Terrible Twosome and who they were dating! Then, she gazed over to her mentor, friend and saviour and his two juniors. How that had happened she had no clue, but since it’d happened Andrew had changed, no more flighty, he had settled. Robin, on the other hand, had become more serious if that was possible. Serious and suicidal. Not a good combination. Must deal with that. Ok.

“So, Will. Why are we here? And why isn’t Kennedy?”

“Who Buffy?”

“Kennedy. Your girlfriend?”

“Ask the Bitch.” All around the room, jaws dropped and eyes bulged. “The reason I called the meeting is….”

“Kennedy? Bitch? Since when?”

Willow nearly showed her surprise and shock but managed not to show it, just. One of the Terrible Twosome was listening in? And even more than that, actually is participating in the conversation? Wow, wow and double wow! But did that mean the other one was? No, that was way too much to deal with!

“Since I said so.”

“But I thought you loved her?”

“If love is me trying not to throw up around her then yeah, it’s love.”

“Rather South Parkian Will.”

“You asked.”


South Parkian? Okay. “I’ve just had a call from an ex-pupil of ours.” At this, all listened. “And she needs our help.”

“Name it and we’ll be there.”

“Actually Buffy. I was thinking about going myself.”

“No way josé! Pick a buddy or you’re not going!”

“But, Buffy!”

“Don’t care.”


Rupert Giles removed and started to polish his glasses. A movement that was so predictable that even Andrew had started to copy it and come to think of it, Willow wondered: What happened to his crush on Xander? Andrew’s not into Giles. Then again, anything’s possible. After a time, Giles replaced his glasses:

“How were you planning on doing this?”

“Well I was thinking about applying for a tech job at her workplace and helping her on the side. No magic, only tech wizardry!”

“Well. I have no problem with that, but please stay in touch, just in case you do need us.”

“Promise. So can I go?”


“Yes Giles?”

“May I ask: Which ex-pupil is it?”

Willow walked into the building with wide eyes. The science geek in her humming with happiness at all the amazing equipment on display.

“Hey! You’re aware you’re not allowed here?”

She twirled around to see a brown-haired man with mischief maker practically written on him. “Hi. You must be Danny. I’m Willow. A friend of Lindsey’s. I’m your new tech girl.”

“Oh, yeah. Montana said you were coming. She’s out.”

“Oh.” Montana? “Ok. I’ll come back later.”

Twinkling blue eyes -behind wire-rimmed glasses- smiled at her. “Let me show you around. After all, you are working with us.”

“Ok then.”

After a full tour of the lab, during which she knew she impressed him on various matters, in the break room, he started the questions.

“So, how do you know Montana?”


“Yeah, Lindsey.”

“I did a spell which turned her into a vampire slayer along with a couple of thousand more, she found out and then joined the school I help set up.”

“Ok.” Beat. “Seriously?”

Willow smiled. It never failed to amuse her as to how predictable people reacted to the truth. “I’m kidding! The group I worked with needed some help with a thing.” No need to tell him about the problem with the blood and Robin’s near death experience. In fact, Willow still needed to sort the consequences of that one out. “And we stayed in touch. When I said I needed a job, she mentioned this to me.”

“And here you are.”

“And here I am. Who else works here?”

“I thought Montana would’ve told you that?”

“Refresh my memory.”

“Ok. Mac is the boss.”

“Tall, serious, brooding?”

Danny just stares at her. “Yeah, that’s him. His second is Stella.”

“Mass of hair like a fountain and has Greek in her?”

Hes still staring at her. “Yeah. Me and Lindsey you know. Then there’s Sheldon.”

“Chocolate skin and eyes. Use to be the pathologist?”

Now, hes just amazed. “Yeah, really pisses off the newbies! Then, last but not least, Don.”

“Tall, sky blue eyes and bad taste in ties?”

This time, Danny just shakes his head in wonder. “Wow. Montana has told you about us hasn’t she?”

“That’s what friends do Detective Messer!”

Willow felt no need to tell him about the weekly e-mails, filled with his and the rest of the teams antics. It made her smile just thinking about them.

“Why the smile?”

“Something just came back to me.”

“Funny? Care to share?”

“Yes. And no way.”

“Clever. So, where are you from? Your accents not from around here.”


“Big place. Care to narrow it down?”


“The gas explosion? Were you there?”

“I thought it was put down to a natural disaster?”

“I’m a CSI.”

“Looked a bit suspect?”


“I think it’s the new Monroe, never going to find out the truth.”

Willow turned to look at the speaker and from Lindsey’s incredibly detailed description, instantly pegged him as the guy in charge. But, as Willow looked closer, she saw a look in his eyes that she saw in way too many of her friends and in hers in the mirror. The dormant look of loss and pain that only normally applies to people who’ve lost someone. But what? Willow was so busy trying to find a supernatural event that she completely forgot an un-supernatural one. But when it hit her, she gasped, making both Mac and Danny’s eyes widen.

“Hi! I’m Willow.” She almost stammered.

“Mac. Has Danny showed you around?”

“Yeah. And he did it very well.”

“Ok. Could you please follow me?”

“Oh, sure. Bye Danny.”

“Bye Willow.”

Unlike Danny, Detective Mac Taylor was almost disturbingly efficient. Thankfully, Willow knew her responses so the interview went well. But it wasn’t until the end she was sure.

“Welcome to the team Ms Rosenberg.”

“Please. Call me Willow, Detective Taylor.”

“Mac. Please.”
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