Title: The Darkness Breeds Monsters
Fandom: The Sentinel
Category: Angst, AU, Gen
Warnings: Violence, Rape, Murder, OOC, Kidnapping
Disclaimer: The Sentinel and its characters do not belong to me.
Archive: Any list I send it to those with prior consent.
Beta: Queen Sereya
AN: This is told in the 1st person POV.
Summary: Sometimes the monsters take you.
Sometimes when the world goes black and the night rushes across the land, you forget that in that darkness is a monster waiting to snap at the heals of your feet, hungry for your pain. Sometimes, sometimes monsters force you to remember. It happens suddenly; you are walking down the street or getting out of your car and the monsters attack. Monsters are insidious creatures, they blend in the light, and you don’t realize what and who they are until it is too late.
When the monsters have struck us down or they are through injuring us, there are those that come for them, the lift us up and try to put us back together. Our broken, damaged bodies our souls shattered and our minds shocked by what has occurred we are reeling, but they go after the monsters, because they can see through the lies. I see it, I watch as the people I care about hunt down the monsters. Once I was on the sidelines, I knew the monsters were there, but I didn’t know how to stop them. The monsters I speak of are not some mythical being, some boogieman crawling through the night seeking victims they are human. Many have families and normal jobs, some of the monsters wreak their havoc in the daylight, but eventually, and hopefully, the light will catch the monsters.
You’re asking who are you, how do you know? It’s simple; I am Blair Sandburg, Shaman and Guide to the Sentinel of the Great City. He is more than just a sentinel; he is a cop, a defender and a man of great integrity. I admire him and I love him. Through the years I have been at his side, I have seen all manner of monsters, but I have also seen all manner of heroes. The people I have met through him are a beacon in the darkness, and they are my friends, at least I consider them my friends.
Normally I do not think of monsters or their slayers; I just try to get through my life one day at a time. I am a student and a teacher when I am not at my Sentinel’s side. I love what I do; my studies and my students give me fulfillment and none of the personal distaste that I sometimes feel as a police observer. Not distaste for the people I am working with, but for the people they deal with.
To help people they wade through the dregs of society and sometimes it hurts and angers them. They aren’t perfect, they swear too much, they don’t eat enough and god knows they have tempers, yet you only have to see them with a victim or a young child to know that they are good people.
As I said, normally I don’t think of the monsters, I just go with the flow and do my part, but today, today I dealt with the monsters. I’m what you would call a trouble magnet, I don’t mean to, but I have problems running into people of the deranged variety. I have stopped counting how many times I end up kidnapped though I know someone in the department still counts. I wonder when I reach the one hundred kidnappings mark do I get a cookie? Anyway, as I said I attract trouble all through no fault of my own, this time was no different.
I was teaching my first class of the day when I noticed that several of my students seemed nervous and a touch scared, since there was no test that day I wondered what was going on. Unfortunately, I found out all too quickly. I had just begun my lecture when six very large and very armed men took over my classroom, the first thing they did was shoot one of my nervous students, one of the ones I had noticed earlier. They didn’t kill him, but a small part of me wishes they had, simply so he would have been spared what happened in the next three hours.
It… it was the worse thing I have ever seen in my entire life and I have traveled the world and seen many horrors. I was in the Sudan during the unrest, I have personally witnessed two executions, and the horror of female castration and the open marketing of children for sex, not to mention the countless cases I have assisted Jim on, but this was the worse thing I have ever seen. Maybe it was because they had already hurt the poor boy so badly long before, they took over my classroom. Maybe it was because they did not care if anyone saw their faces or witnessed their atrocities. I don’t know I just know that what I saw has changed me. I killed two of them. I am a man of peace, but I killed them, and I feel no guilt for it. How can this be? How can I not feel guilt? Who am I now? I don’t celebrate their deaths, I am not glad they are dead, but I do not mourn the ending of their lives.
I had fifteen students in my class that day, it was an honors class, and not one of them escaped injury from those men. It was a freshmen class, only one of my students was over 19, and he was just twenty. Of those fifteen, two are dead and seven are near it. They took us from the class; they forced us at gunpoint into a van and drove us to a secluded place. Jason, the student they shot, screamed one ragged agonizing sound of fear when he saw where they were taking us. Toby, his best friend and someone they had already injured, sobbed like the child he was. I say was, he was the first to die. I cannot say what they did to him; oh, god please let your child be at peace.
Immediately they started taking my kids’ one at a time and forcing the rest of us to watch what they did to them, none of us expected to make it out alive, each minute I grew more despondent. I knew Jim would find us, but would it be in time, would we want the police to save us by the time he arrived? I had no answer. I wish they had taken me first, I wish they had come after me before they went after the kids, but unfortunately they came after me in the middle of the blood shed and sex.
I will be honest, I had no idea I was capable of such violence and vengeance I did not know I could hate so deeply, never have I felt this way, not even when I was drowned by a psychotic sentinel did I feel so full of hate and despair. I did not know that I had absorbed so much from my time as Jim’s guide and partner, but when they untied me, I snapped. I remember vaguely screaming, I remember blood and shouts of pain and fear. I remember the feel of a knife in my hand, how I gutted one of the men. I remember taking his gun and using it on the other kidnappers, I’m not a good shot, but I managed to wound all of them and kill the leader.
I emptied the gun into him.
It took me a while to come back to myself, when I did I untied my students and with the help of the students injured the least I got them into the van that took us to that place of horrors. I hotwired the van, not wanting to touch those men to try to find their keys, and then I sent them away. I told them to get to the hospital, to call someone and send them to the warehouse then I went back inside and I waited, I waited and I watched, I rendered no aide to the men I had wounded, I would not touch them. If they died before help arrived so be it, they could rot.
I don’t know how long I sat there listening to them moan in pain, Jim later told me it was an hour; I don’t know I don’t really care to be honest. I was in shock and I was bleeding, I have no memory of my abductors shooting or stabbing me. All I remember is the sound of my students’ cries of pain and fear and the hatred I felt with each sound.
When Jim and the rest of my friends arrived, I ran to them, I threw myself in Jim’s arms and sobbed. I couldn’t help it, Jim, bless him, just held me and let me cry. Sometime in the tears, I fell away to the darkness.
When I came back to myself, I was in a hospital room, Jim was at my side holding my hand, and Simon was standing in the door looking at me with hope and despair. When they realized I was awake, both men moved closer to the bed. Simon gripped my left hand and Jim tightened his grip on my right. I have never been more thankful for their friendship than I was at that moment. Megan, Rafe, Henri, and Joel all swarmed into the room when they heard Simon greet me. Megan, who is one of the toughest women you will ever meet in your life but also the funniest and sweetest, began to cry and pushed Simon to the side long enough to kiss my cheeks and tell me she was glad I was awake. Then Rafe was moving her aside and patting my arm, Henri gently squeezed my shoulder, but when Joel kissed me on the forehead, I had to fight tears. Of all the people, I have known in my life, the only person that comes close to being a father to me is Joel.
My Mom, my Naomi was through the door next, she rushed to my side and Joel stepped aside letting her hug and kiss me. She was crying for me, she never said anything to Jim about the lives I took or blamed him. In fact, she thanked him for teaching me to defend myself and the relationship between the pair has improved dramatically, she even promised not to burn sage anymore.
It has been hard copping with what I saw and with what I did, but through it all Jim and the others have been there for me. Soon I will have to face a judge and jury and tell them what I saw, but for now, I know that I am safe. My Sentinel and my tribe came for me, my Warriors of the Light saved me from the darkness, and with them at my side I will prevail.