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As I lie here.

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Summary: Some not so happy thoughts by Xander. Warning: Slash! Xander/Julian

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Kindred: the EmbracedNikolaosFR131506041,24213 Oct 0813 Oct 08Yes
I don't own anything and don't make any money.
Warning: Slash! Xander/Julian



At some days I cant understand how I can fight on. Every day they invent something to torture me with. Even my sweet, little girl.



Every time this happens I see the little girl who cried as no one wanted to play with her in kindergarten. The next second I see the woman who has replaced her. The red witch. The all mighty witch of Sunnydale. In all the time that I have known her before she arrived I never dreamed about the changes that she brought.



Then there was his best friend. He had killed him himself as he was turned after all, they had told him that there wasn't anything left of his best friend only a monster who wore his face as it killed and raped innocent people. He was the only one who knew what really happened at his home.



The only other person who knew was the Queen of Sunnydale. They were perfect together but his happiness never lasted long. They broke up because of the jealousy of the red witch. After that she didn't ever say one nice word to him she only ever helped the others in hurting him.



There was the man he wished that he was his father. At least at the beginning. As more and more time flew by the desire dimmed and then disappeared because there was only ever one person that he really saw: her!

Everything he did he did with the hope to get one nice word. He only was ignored.



The last was her. She was everything that he ever wanted. A little blond power girl. It was as if the sun shown where she was. Everywhere she went she was in the mind of the people there. She was the one person he thought wouldn't hurt him. Because of that he gave her his everything. It wasn't much but it was all that he had. But it wasn't enough for her she took it all and then she through him away.



Willow, my little girl with the crayons and the barbie without a head.



Jesse my first love and best friend.



Cordelia Queen of Sunnydale High.



Giles the mentor who taught me everything I knew about the supernatural.



Buffy. My sun angel. Girl of my dreams.



But now I am all alone. They are all gone. Gone because I couldn't give them enough.

I didn't think that there would ever be a cause to live on for me.



But now you are here.



My angel of darkness. My knight in bloody armour. My Julian.



As I lie in your arms every nightmare vanishes.

As I lie in your arms everything they said about vampires isn't enough to get me to hate you.

As I lie in your arms nobody can hurt me.

As I lie in your arms I am finally at peace.



I know there will be other nights but lying here I cant get myself to care.

The End

You have reached the end of "As I lie here.". This story is complete.

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