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Stuck or Things to Do in Cardiff

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Summary: A great big no-good vortex opens leaving Xander in Cardiff

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Dr. Who/Torchwood > Xander-CenteredwellingtonFR181517,647910083,06116 Oct 0819 Sep 09No

Part 14: In Which There is Ritual Mating

I just want to say, I’m sorry. I have been so lazy. I’m going to make sure I update at least once a week, I sware.

Part 14: In Which There is Ritual Mating

“You’re a powerful psychic.”

“No, I’m not.” Xander Harris said in a straightforward voice though he clearly had sprouted a confused look on his face.

“Yes, you are.” Gwen said again.

“No, I’m not.” He repeated just the same but he stopped looking at her and stared at Jack and Ianto as they wrestled Owen back down to the ground.

“Yes, you are,” Gwen stopped then rolled her eyes with a little growl, “Look at Owen, hell look at jack, is that normal!”

He glanced at her, blinked, and then returned to watching Owen leap forward only to be pulled back by the other men. Then he exclaimed “Hello, new Earth! That could be perfectly normal for all I know! I’ve watched Animal Planet; this could be some bizarre mating ritual! Ianto, run away, you’re much too pretty to be stuck with them.”

“Oi, I’m prettier than him!” Jack hissed as he slammed Owen’s head onto the floor. Ianto smirked at him triumphantly, “You wish. Just check out my bone structure.”

Jack punched him in the arm.

She snorted as they dragged him back again then Xander elbowed her and whispered conspiringly, “You think that’s normal.”

Owen growled as he managed to break free only to be pounded down flat.

“Um, no,” Gwen said looking at Tosh, who smiled kindly and shrugged, “but we’re working on it.”

Xander nodded then said sagely, “that was an awfully heavy thud when he hit his head, you think he’s going to be ok?”

“He’ll be fine.” She ignored them, frowned, and then started poking him in the chest. “You need to stop this right now.”

He scurried away from her finger, “I’m not doing anything.”

“Yes, you are.” Gwen said again, only this time with far angrier pokes.

“No, I’m not.” He whined.

Tosh intervened, “are you really?”

“What?” He pouted as he rubbed his chest.

“Not doing anything. I mean, are you really not changing our behaviors?” She asked.

He looked at her then scratched his head. There was another thud coming from Owen’s direction followed by cursing. He started backing away from them, “I really, really am not doing anything. I’m pretty sure I have no idea what you’re talking about. I can make some guesses, like you think I got bad mojo but no mojo. I am without mojo. I am mojo-less. I can’t even lift a pencil. Why in hell would I want that?”

There was another thud and breathless groan from Ianto. Jack cursed then said, “Get him to a cell!”

“I said I didn’t do anything!” Xander cried.

Jack sat on Owen and frowned, “would you rather we let Owen go?”

He made a small noise and grabbed Gwen pulling her to the Vaults. “Good point. Can I have a room with a view?”

She sighed as he dragged away.

“Owen, you are so lucky I’m fond you.” Jack told the man he was sitting on. Owen just made a breathless flustered noise.

Ianto leaned back with a very tired look on his newly bruised face. “You’re actually fond of him?”

Jack made a drained but amused noise, “okay, this is what’s going to happen. We men are going to take a break then we, meaning Ianto and myself, are going to wrestle you into my office. Then we are going to learn to keep the bad man out of our heads. No questions? Good.”

“Shouldn’t you let him answer?” Tosh asked.

“No.” He lifted an annoyed eyebrow at her. “You on another hand, are you going be monitoring everyone on the CCTV. Keep me informed if anything else happens.”

She giggled the returned back to her workstation to do as commanded.

* * * *

“Are we all in better mood?” Jack asked as he bounced in the boardroom. He ignored the dark looks from an icepack welding Ianto and a bloody lipped Owen. He also ignored the giggles from the girls. “Owen and I spent some special time together and now he feels like the twat he knows he is. I need to know if any of you are soaking up psychic leakage like our good doctor. So, seriously, are we in more danger because of our psychic visitor?”

He nodded at the various ‘I’m goods’ he heard. “Good, go home. Owen, I’m going to call you later and if you are at a pub I’m going to make you suffer.”

“Yeah,” He muttered, “I know.”

“How are you going to make him suffer?” Tosh laughed pointing to his battered body, “Beat him into a pulp.”

“Smear him into jam,” Gwen added with a grin.

Ianto smiled, “Make him clean out the Weevil stalls.”

Jack laughed, “You lot are blood thirsty tonight.”

“I’m glad you’re having fun, I’m leaving!” Owen huffed and left followed by two amused ladies, still making quips about his punishment if he went drinking. Jack laughed as he watched them exit.

* * * *

Gwen was sure this counted as a stressful day. Sure there were no property damage and a surprising lack of dead people but they had been personally injured. They were forced to feel something not of their own heart. Having never experienced something like this she wasn’t sure how to react. She was sure she should feel violated but didn’t. It was uncomfortable like wearing a jumper that itched like crazy but made you look astonishing beautiful.

And that man. The one who made her feel these things. He said he hadn’t done it. Was he telling the truth? Tosh believed him, but he had made her think of him as a hero, someone who would protect her, save her. She herself thought he was trustworthy.

Was he safe to leave there? Jack was still there, would Xander do something to him or would Jack? Jack always protected his own.

Before Tosh walked to far away, Gwen grabbed her arm, “Are we sure this is a good idea?”

“Leaving?” she blinked.

Gwen frowned, “Leaving them alone. Together. He’s already affected jack and who knows what Jack’ll do.”

“Nope, they’ll be fine.” Tosh smiled kindly, “It doesn’t matter they won’t be alone, together, long.”

“Why?” She asked as tension released from her shoulders.

Tosh laughed then petted her arm, “Ianto forgot his hat.”

“He doesn’t wear a hat.” She said after a minute.

She started walking again and pulled Gwen behind her, “seems he forgot that too.”

She laughed then said seriously, “Think Owen’s going to be alright.”

“I was worried till I heard him whine to jack.” Tosh said with a bright grin.

Gwen inquired, “What was he complaining about now?”

“He had kissed a Cyclops.”

* * * *

“Sir?”

Jack looked away from CCTV monitors to find Ianto stranding behind him, leaning in a lazy and arousing pose. If it had been any other time, jack would have been sure to create an adventurous evening but Torchwood had a dangerous guest. “Go home. We’ll deal with this mess tomorrow.”

He walked across the room and look at the monitor that jack had been staring at. The man was staring at camera; it seemed that he was staring back at them. “What about Xander?”

“He’ll be fine tonight. I’ll get him a blanket. He’ll do my hair, I’ll do his.”

The looked at each other.

Jack broke the silence first.” What?”

“Jack, it’s not that we don’t trust you. We do, it’s just…”

He rolled his eyes, “he’ll be fine.”

“Shouldn’t we get him a hotel room?” Ianto said firmly.

“Too dangerous. He has Owen and me ready to pop.” He told him with twisted lips. “To the public, who knows what he can do?”

He nodded then looked at him with a penetrating glare. “But, is he safe with you?”

“Safe as houses.” He said flippantly

“Is one of those houses the one you blow up last week?”

“He’ll be fine.”

Ianto snorted.

Jack insisted. “Completely safe.”

He looked at the monitor then back at jack then smiled benevolently. “I’m staying tonight.”

The End?

You have reached the end of "Stuck or Things to Do in Cardiff" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 19 Sep 09.

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