Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in or associated by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, Buck Godot: Zap Gun For Hire, Yes Minister, Yes Prime Minister, or Star Wars. This story is done without malice and without profit from it. It is simply for the enjoyment of the readers.
In a country half a world away from where Sunnydale used to be, a young girl was staring, with some anger, at her father. “What did you do?”
Mr. Granger smirked at his daughter, “What do you mean?”
Hermione huffed. A usual occurrence with her father's eccentricities. “Why did Madam Bones, the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement come to Hogwarts, just when I was leaving, to ask if you would be so kind as to be a consultant for them?”
“Huh. Never thought I'd hear that from them. Then again, I'm so awesome that it was bound to happen.”
Dawn Granger sighed and then slapped the back of her husband's head. “Xander, what happened?”
“Hey, it was Andrew's fault!” Xander protested as they continued to drive in London's traffic.
Dawn put on her resolve face, “Xander, so help me, I'll set the entire set of Scoobies ,as well as the Scrappies, on you unless you fess up!”
Sighing he pulled out a tube from under his jacket and handed it to his wife. “I used this a while back, when I was getting a Christmas present for our daughter.”
Dawn's face fell as she recognized the item. “What happened.”
Xander was just exiting Florish and Blots when some idiots with wands decided to make merry and fire spells at the customers in the confined space of Diagon Alley.
Not being one to mince words, he reached in and pulled his gun, and quickly shot all the idiots in sight. Some people were staring at him in awe, especially of the wand he pulled. One person quickly asked him if he was an unspeakable, which startled him so much that he hit a button, and a three foot beam of light came out of the end of the gun.
Which in turn, gave the rest of the Death Eaters a chance to run away, after firing the Dark Mark. Even though Voldemort was not officially returning yet, the attack was to show the muggles shopping that they were not to be messed with and that they would soon die. That some of theirs were apparently dead was not in the plan.
Members of the DMLE were soon on the scene and took in Mr. Granger for questioning.
The DMLE was not a fun place to be and he had been in a lot of places that weren't fun. He could tell when people wanted to pin something on him. "I'm a muggle, remember? I can't do magic."
Auror Dawlish was looking at the man as if he was crazy. In an attack by Death Eaters, he had managed to kill four of them before the rest took off, and according to witnesses, he was waving his metal wand. A wand that they had determined did no magic that they knew of. The post-mortem on the deceased indicated that each had died with a hole in their chests and no signs of what did it. If there was a new type of death curse, he needed to find out in order to have it banned immediately. "Listen, I don't know what type of magic you used, but it's obviously deadly. Come clean and I won't have you locked up."
Xander rolled his eyes, "And, what, praytell, am I supposed to have used to fire the spell?"
Dawlish was getting angrier by the second and then calmed himself. Perhaps by playing around he would find out how the man did what he did. Pulling out the wand, he laid it on the table. "With this wand, Mr. Granger."
Xander sighed as he looked at the gun that Andrew sent to him the year before. He was never going to live this one down. "That is not a wand, it's a light saber."
"A saber made out of light? No such thing exists." Dawlish snorted.
"You've never heard of the muggle Star Wars, have you? We've had our own dark lords that make yours seem like pansies. I can show you the documentaries if you want." Xander grinned at the man. Maybe Andrew's back up feature would get him out of this.
"May I show you how I use it?" Xander asked as he gestured towards his 'wand'.
Dawlish looked at the grinning man and nodded. "No funny stuff. Understand?"
And with that he took the light saber and stood so that he was facing a wall to the side of the auror. He then took a stance and flicked the switch on it, causing a beam of light, seemingly solid, to flash out. "This is a light saber. An elegant weapon from a more primitive time. Would you like to accompany me back to my home where I can show you evidence of the past wars?"
Dawlish's mouth hung open and he nodded slowly. The two of them left the Ministry and headed for Xander's home, where he sat the Auror in front of the television and put in a DVD with Star Wars on it. The Auror was soon entranced in the show. "And this actually happened?"
"Hey, it's a documentary all of us in the muggle world know. The Force is our friend, and we must always strive to stay on the light side of The Force."
When John Dawlish made it back, he closed the file with a little note indicating that Xander was exempt from charges since he only acted in self defense and used no magic. He also added the notation that Xander was one of a group of Knights highly respected in the muggle world, and they wanted no trouble with their order, which would happen if He Who Must Not Be Named was not put down.
If one Jedi Knight could do that to the Death Eaters, there was no telling what hundreds of them could do. And Xander assured him, with proof, that there were entire enclaves of Jedi in the Australian colony. Over a hundred thousand strong, and enough to put forward their own political party.
He'd have to see about getting a copy of those documentaries and showing them, somehow, to the others.
“And that's what happened.” Xander concluded.
Hermione stared at her father with her mouth wide open, “You mean they are documentaries?”
Xander squirmed, “Uh.. no. I just used that as an excuse. Just because I have a real light saber doesn't mean I fight the forces of darkness all the time...I mean... I don't fight the forces of darkness... Well, there was this one time... Well a lifetime ago, but that's a story for another time... Maybe you should talk to your Aunt Wills or Aunt Buffy?”
Dawn wapped Xander again, “Way to go honey, Now she's sure to learn all about our past.”
“It's Andrew's fault, I tell you!” mumbled Xander as he realised that their past, and the Slayers, was catching up to them once more. They had tried to keep their daughter out of it, but thanks to their dark lord piss-in-pants, it seemed his daughter was about to have her introduction into the family business.
“We need Mr. Granger's expertise now that we know He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back.” Amelia stated to Dumbledore in his role as the head of the Wizengamot. “He has expertise in dealing with Dark Lords.”
“Now Amelia, Mr. Granger is a muggle. I doubt he has any ability to help in a magical fight.” Albus replied gently.
The head of the DMLE rolled her eyes, “He's a Jedi Knight. He's already in the front lines against the dark, and I have statements from the Aurors in France from their vacation there, and DON'T get me started on the status of the American ambassador when he heard Mr. Grangers name.”
Dumbledore smiled gently, his eyes twinkling Merrily, “Well, I would need proof before we involve him. It isn't his world after all.”
Amelia smirked as she brought out the DVD and the files she then laid on his desk, “Oh, I'm sure that the reports will work fine, and if not, I have a documentary to show you...”
Buffy sighed as she called out, “Will, Giles, we have to go somewhere now.”
Willow came into the room from the library as Giles came in rubbing his glasses. For all the time they had been fighting, they were now semi-retired and in the roles of the 'higher-ups' as they said here in Scotland. “What happened.”
“Xander has some explaining to do, and so do we. An incident has Hermione asking questions,” she said, exasperated. While she wasn't worried about the questions, it was a chance to go out. The castle was nice and all, but Buffy could use this as an excuse to go shopping in the Oxford Circus.