Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Relative Consequences

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking

Summary: Harry's decided how best to react to some recent Ministry actions.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > GeneralGreywizardFR712,8505219,41323 Nov 0823 Nov 08Yes
Disclaimer: They all belong to JKR Deal with it. I have.

Summery: An authorized follow-up to "It's All Relative" by danielerin. You can find the story itself here:

Time Frame: Alternate version of Harry's Seventh Year. Goes AU after the end of 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.'

Spoilers: Nope, none at all.

Character Bashing: Nah. Well, maybe a little – or a lot – on Fudge and his corrupt, scum-sucking cronies, but I can live with that.

Feedback: Of course!

Archiving: Talk to me first, please.

Author’s Note 1: Many thanks to Lori Bush, Tim Joy, Bill Haden and Drake the Archr for beta-ing this story.

Author’s Note 2: This was inspired by the story "It’s All Relative " by danielerin, which can be found on Portkey.Org.

As usual, "word" indicates speech, :: word :: indicates mental communication and { word } indicates a character's thoughts.


Ministry of Magic
London, England

Friday, March 29, 1997

"Cornelius! Have you seen this morning's edition of the Daily Prophet?"

Dolores Umbridge stormed into the Minister's office, the copy of said paper that was clenched in her right paw – er, hand – being waved around as though it were a quidditch banner.

"That arrogant little brat, Potter, apparently granted a personal interview with that muckraker, Skeeter, last night concerning that mudblood Granger's expulsion from Hogwarts last week and it's been posted on the front page!" she croaked indignantly, her beady little eyes glaring with righteous indignation. "He's actually had the temerity to accuse us of persecuting him and that mudblood bitch of his!"

Disquiet and apprehension filled Fudge's somewhat myopic eyes as he grabbed the sheets his Senior Undersecretary was ranting about and he reluctantly began reading said interview.

{{ Good news, beloved readers! }} Skeeter's column began, the salutation practically jumping off the page and into the readers' faces in a rainbow of colors as the blonde journalist's face smiled out from the page with an exceedingly predatory expression on her heavily made-up features.

{{ Following the somewhat abrupt, but not at all surprising forced departure of Hermione Granger, a close friend of the celebrated and widely-known Harry Potter, from Hogwarts last week, this lucky reporter managed to get The Boy Who Lived to agree to an interview so as to get an insider's view and personal insights into the circumstances surrounding the exodus of one of this premier institute of learning's more controversial students from its hallowed halls. }}

{{ I am also sure that you will find this young man's revelations as surprising as I did, especially in view of the fact that this extraordinary young man, in order to offset any claims by the Ministry that he is merely an opportunistic, delusional, publicity-seeking liar as he's been described in the past by some in the Ministry, swore a binding oath on his magic in front of me, risking his very magic itself in his efforts to verify that everything he is stating as fact in this interview is true and correct! }}

{{ Now, as part of our magically binding agreement concerning the interview, here are the complete and unedited words of the Boy Who Lived regarding Hermione Granger's exit from Hogwarts prior to the end of her seventh year as well as various other matters concerning the Wizarding World. }}

Perspiration broke out on Fudge's forehead as he read Skeeter's typically lurid confirmation of Potter's magical oath to speak the truth in the interview, immediately realizing the unspoken inherent implications of that action which the typical witch or wizard would wholly accept at a subconscious level. His face began paling even more as he read further into the interview.

{{ Thank you, Rita, }} Potter's portion of the interview began, {{ I really appreciate the opportunity you're offering me to get the facts about what actually happened here at Hogwarts over the course of the past several days and the reasons really behind the actions taken by our, er, illustrious Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge and various members of his staff out to the public so that they can judge for themselves the truth of the news they've been hearing. }}

{{ First off, now that I have sworn to tell the truth about everything's that's happened to me over the course of the past seven years, let's establish some background and some basic facts about both the person the Ministry has been publicly slandering over the course of the past several weeks as crazy, delusional and a disruptive influence on the other students at the school, and also about the Minister and his staff. }}

{{ Fact: Based on her marks, Hermione Granger is without any question the most brilliant witch of not only my generation, but also of the preceding twelve generations to attend Hogwarts. If anyone doesn't believe me, then all they need to do to determine the truth for themselves is check out the academic records which are available for inspection at Hogwarts.

{{ Fact: Hermione Granger has helped keep me alive numerous times over the past seven years despite the best efforts of both Tom Riddle – that's Voldemort's true name, you know – and his band of cowardly and gutless – not to mention disposable – minions and sycophants, who are more generally referred to by most wizards and witches as Death Eaters. }}

{{ Fact: Tom Marvelo Riddle is the half-blood bastard child of a muggle named Tom Riddle, Sr. and a witch named Merope Gaunt. If you check Hogwarts' school records, you'll find that he not only attended Hogwarts, he was Head Boy in 1944 during his seventh year there. He also prefers to be known as Lord Voldemort, apparently in the belief that a fictional name will prove to be more impressive than his true one. I, however, believe that Tommy-Boy is a wanker, no matter what name he uses. }}

{{ Fact: Minister Fudge has denied the possibility that Riddle has returned and regained corporeal form for the past three years, and only ceased denying that fact after he and numerous others personally witnessed Tommy-Boy's reappearance in the Department of Mysteries in the basement of the Ministry of Magic near the end of my fifth year at Hogwarts. Both then and at numerous other times over the past seven years, my survival was the result of the help I received from a great many people, the most prominent one of whom being Hermione Granger. }}

{{ Fact: Because Minister Fudge had refused to even consider the possibility of Tommy-Boy's return until it was no longer possible to do so, the Aurors who are supposed to protect the citizens of the Wizarding World are both dangerously outnumbered and horrendously ill-prepared to oppose any Death Eaters when they appear during their terror raids. Additionally, because of Minister Fudge's incompetence, dozens of people have died as a result of Death Eater terror raids, including Hermione Granger's muggle parents, who were targeted both because she has helped save my life numerous times, as I have already noted, and because she is living proof of the fallacy of the Death Eaters' widely stated belief in the alleged innate superiority of purebloods over halfblood or muggleborn witches and wizards. }}

{{ Fact: Minister Fudge, his staff and various members of the Wizengamot believe that they can force people to do what they want them to do by exerting pressure to discredit or ruin anyone who won't follow their wishes, or threatening to take such action against their loved ones. }}

{{ Fact: Because they didn't like the attention Hermione Granger was attracting by asking various questions after the debacle in the basement of the Ministry – questions such as, 'How is it that the marked Death Eaters captured during that attack on the Department of Mysteries in our fifth year were released, and no charges were filed against any of them?" and 'Did any Ministry officials receive any monetary gifts from any of the previously mentioned Death Eaters in return for no charges being filed?' along with other questions such as, 'Why is it that the Wizarding World thinks they can treat nonhumans like elves, goblins, giants and centaurs the way they currently do with impunity and without any repercussions?' – Minister Fudge and his cohorts forced Hermione Granger out of Hogwarts in the foolish and erroneous belief that doing that would both ruin her life and make all of the embarrassing questions she was asking go away. }}

{{ Fact: My parents' long-time friend, Sirius Black, who was blamed for their murder sixteen years ago, was actually completely innocent of any complicity in their deaths, and was imprisoned in Azkaban for twelve years without any charges being leveled against him, at the behest of Minister Fudge. Had Minister Fudge or the Wizengamot conducted any sort of investigation into my parents' murders, they would have very quickly and easily discovered proof of his innocence. Again, it was Hermione Granger who helped me research and discover these facts during my third year at Hogwarts. }}

{{ Fact: Sirius Black died while defending me from Bellatrix Lestrange during that confrontation in the Department of Mysteries in my fifth year which I mentioned earlier. Since both Draco and Narcissa Malfoy were legally disinherited by Sirius Black prior to his death – he was never convicted of any crime, remember, so he was still the Black patriarch – as Sirius Black's sole legitimate heir, I have since been acknowledged as Head of the Black Family and took control of all of the Black Family fortune. }}

{{ Fact: Once the Black Family assets were added to those already possessed by the Potter estate, I became one of the five wealthiest individuals in the Wizarding World. }}

{{ Fact: I need to thank Minister Fudge and his puppets for their attempts to ruin Hermione Granger's life over the past several weeks, since it shocked me out of the emotional stupor I've been stuck in the past several years and made me realize exactly what my life would be like without her in it. It is because of their efforts that I was motivated to ask Hermione to marry me, and because of their efforts that she has agreed to become the next Lady Potter. }}

{{ Fact: As a result of the ongoing abuse, persecution and repeated murder attempts I have been subjected to over the course of the past seven years, I have decided to leave the British Wizarding World. I, my fiancée, Hermione Granger, and all of the people we care about have already moved to Fidelius-protected properties I own elsewhere in the world and enrolled in other equally, if not better, qualified magic schools where necessary. None of us will be returning until a new Ministry, which can prove itself to be both honest, ethical and not willing to whore itself out to any individual with a sufficient amount of galleons, has taken over the reins of leadership. }}

{{ Fact: The British Ministry must now handle the problem with Riddle and his Death Eaters which they have allowed to not only exist, but flourish, by themselves and not depend on a seventeen year old wizard to solve it for them. }}

{{ Fact: Don't bother looking for us, because you won't find us. As muggles would say, "I'm out of here. Bye." }}

Fudge looked up from his perusal of the article with a smile of satisfaction after reading the last few paragraphs. He couldn’t have asked for better news if he'd written it himself.

Potter and all of his trouble-causing associates had voluntarily removed themselves from the British Wizarding World!

This wasn't a problem – this was cause for a celebration!

"This is wonderful news, Dolores! Now we won't have to bother with any of those troublemakers any more," he declared, a wide smile on his face as he settled himself more comfortably in his leather chair behind his massive desk and began the serious task of deciding where to have lunch.


Matters didn't seem quite as wonderful later that day as reports began filtering in that Potter had sold off *all* of the unquestionably extensive Potter and Black Family business holdings to various interested parties throughout the British Wizarding World in a series of secret deals, divesting himself completely of any business interests that might conceivably have been seized by the Ministry, and causing more than minor consternation among those interests who had believed that they were becoming business partners with the Boy Who Lived when the news of his departure from the British Isles became widely known.

And the widely publicized revelation released by Gringotts the day following Skeeter's interview, that Potter had transferred all of his financial assets out of the country, had further exacerbated the situation, causing an abrupt drop in the value of virtually every business enterprise in the Wizarding World as the everyday witch and wizard began worrying what unrevealed information regarding both the Ministry and possibly the Wizarding economy Potter might possess which would make him leave the country so quickly, while taking all of his assets with him.

The Ministry's attempts to blame Potter for the sudden economic collapse that resulted from both of the preceding disclosures as the populace stopped buying anything not immediately necessary for survival, proved to be both ineffectual and a waste of time that could have been better spent figuring out ways to follow Potter's example, Fudge ruefully decided later.

The realization that, with Potter unavailable by reason of having already left the country, he and his cohorts were the only ones left on whom the public could vent its wrath made itself evident when he only managed, by the narrowest of margins, to avoid the three Reducto's cast at him by a quickly gathering angry mob as he was walking down Diagon Alley the following day.

Unfortunately, he had been unable to avoid the multiple Bowel-Loosening and Projectile Vomiting spells that had followed the Reducto's, and which had plagued him with their effects for the next three days despite the best efforts of the staff at St. Mungo's. The combined results of the spell onslaught had also forced him to get rid of his favorite lime-green suit and matching robe, since he couldn't seem to get rid of the resulting odors completely, despite the best efforts of his house elves.

And to make the situation even worse, his Auror bodyguards had failed to report for duty simply because the Ministry had declared that they were currently suspending their payroll 'for the duration of the current emergency.'

How was he supposed to go out in public, let alone go out for lunch, if he didn't have his bodyguards with him to protect him?

The situation was intolerable!

And it was all Potter's fault!

Fudge gave a small prayer that, wherever he might be, Potter was suffering just as much as he currently was.


Potter House
Island of Espiritu Santo
Republic of Vanuatu

One of the beaches bordering the South Pacific Ocean

"Can you hand me another butterbeer, mate?"

"Sure thing, Har," Neville nodded as he dipped his hand into the magically chilled cooler next to him for another bottle. "You want another one, too, Ron?"

"Sure, why not, Nev," the redhead nodded. "Is there any of that shrimp salad Dobby made up left in there?"

"Yep. Want some crisps or some crackers with it?"

"That'd be great, Nev, thanks."

Aside from the roar of the surf, the wind blowing through the palm fronds and the noise of the various inhabitants of the forest behind them going about their normal business, the only other sounds audible were the buzz of conversation and intermittent giggling of the group of women gathered together under the other beach tent situated some yards down the beach as they continued to further refine the plans for the upcoming wedding.

And after having taken the appropriate potions that allowed them to defend themselves against the blazing sun overhead, there wasn't much else left for the guys to do until the ladies decided they needed their assistance.

"So, what are our plans for the rest of the day, Oh Fearless Leader?" Neville idly asked several minutes later.

"Oh, the usual. Do some swimming in the surf. Get some sun. Maybe explore the remains of that ship that sank off the coast a few klicks up north back in the 1600's that Hermione mentioned at dinner last night. I had Dobby pick up some gillyweed last night, for us to use if we decide we do want to do that."

"Oh. Okay."

"It's a tough and demanding life you've got ahead of you, mate, but I want you to know I'm gonna stick with you through all of it, no matter what."

"I'm with you, Ron. We've got your back, Har. No matter what Dobby decides to prepare for dinner."

"Yeah, mate. Where in the name of Merlin did he ever come up with the idea for octopus soufflé?"

"Oh stuff it, both of you. And I noticed you took seconds, Ron, you berk."

"Just didn’t want to hurt the little guy's feelings about his cooking, Har."

"You're a saint, Ron."

"Yep. Glad to see the rest of you are finally recognizing that fact."

"It's tough life, but someone's gotta live it."

"Amen, Harry."

"What he said."

The frigatebirds' calls were the only things that disturbed the guy's serenity, if you didn't count the giggling and mischievous looks the ladies occasionally threw their way.

But that would happen pretty much anywhere they might be, so it really didn't matter.

They settled back more comfortably into their beach chairs.


The End

You have reached the end of "Relative Consequences". This story is complete.

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking