Through the Door and Out the Window
None of this is mine, aside from the brilliant plot I've devised, and I'm not making any money off of this, so don't sue me.
Sorry updating is taking so long, I lost the notebook where I wrote this chapter and only recently found it. Plus I am far, far too lazy to try and rewrite it.
Sunnydale, California Foreman Cemetery Date: May 7, 2002
I straightened my tie and smiled for the camera. This is going to make prime time cable in at least a few universes if I have anything to say about it. Being nearly all-powerful has its perks after all.
The spotlight centers on me, and only a cone of light staving away the darkness of the graveyard I was standing in. I was garbed in the clothing usually reserved for Rod Serling, and Twilight Zone nuts. I thought it would be a hoot. I had no idea what I was doing. I never should have shifted Sunnydale to the real Twilight Zone.
It was time to start my little production, so I lit a cigarette and took a drag, for authenticity's sake.
"Two figures standing in front of a fresh grave, waiting for what most people consider patently impossible, for a fledgling vampire to rise from his grave. This occurrence while not too uncommon in the Twilight Zone, it is horrifyingly mundane in the town of Sunnydale. The two figures waiting by the burial site are Buffy Summers and Xander Harris. Buffy is the Slayer, one of two girls in the entire world with the strength, speed, and skill to fight the forces of darkness. Xander is a carpenter. Out of all of his friends, he is normal, save for his innate ability to see what others cannot, but he will soon see and do much more than he ever expected, as he will soon find himself.... In the Twilight Zone." As my spotlight faded from view, so did I, becoming invisible for the time being. I flicked my half-smoked cigarette onto the ground, and continued watching.
While I was introducing our heroes, a vampire attacked Buffy, but curiously ignored Xander. This was a good thing, since he was staring at the spot where I was standing, while attempting to remain, as Buffy would say, ‘fray-adjacent’. Xander blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto..." Suddenly, as if by instinct honed by years of hard training, Xander's hand shot out, throwing a stake through the heart of a vampire that was sneaking up on Buffy, who was still busy with the first one they encountered, and was so focused on the fight she was in, she didn't even notice the vampire dust behind her.
Buffy quickly staked her vampire, turned to Xander and saw that he was looking at his hand as if it had just fallen off. "Xander, what are you doing?" She asked. Xander blinked sever times, and then looked up, "Oh, hey Buff, I just staked a vampire..." Buffy frowned, "Well, dusting a vamp is a fairly common thing for you nowadays, seeing as how you help me patrol..." Xander shook his head "Not like this, he came out of nowhere, and I did a full-on ninja stake throw, just out of instinct... And there was this weird guy who looked like a talk show host from the 60s who was narrating us." Buffy raised an eyebrow, "Wow, existential much?" Xander continued to look concerned, "We should head to the Magic Box and do some serious research, maybe ask Giles about any suit-clad demons." Xander shuddered, "And I can't believe I'm suggesting research..." Buffy grinned, "Yeah, now I know something's wrong with you, let's get to Giles and get him to check his books”.
The duo walked to the Magic Box, their trip uneventful. I walked alongside them, silent as the grave, (well, not a Sunnydale grave) and as invisible as the wind, curious as to what the ex-Watcher would find on me, if anything at all... I could always add an entry to one of Giles' older tomes, which should get his attention.
I'll try to update soon, but my muse seems to be taking an extended holiday, so I make no promises. In addition, I’m dropping references left and right. E-cookies for the people who get them!