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The Stargate Scandal

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This story is No. 2 in the series "Prank Wars". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Willow stumbles upon some very interesting files...maybe.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > General > Theme: HumorwinddrinkerFR71995184,6827 Dec 087 Dec 08Yes
Disclaimer: I don't own nothin'.



Willow sat in front of the computer, her hands a blur as they flew over the keyboard. As she shifted her view from the middle screen to the left one, her right hand flailed out in search of something. After a few moments of fruitless searching, her eyes never leaving the screen, it came in contact with the object of her intentions. A loud slurping sound filled the room as she gulped down the frozen mocha.

“Agghh,” she exclaimed, slapping her free hand to her head and closing her eyes, “brain freeze! Bad, bad, bad…” After a few moments with a scrunched up face and a lot of head shaking the intense pain went away and she was able to relax slightly. “Ohhh, I hate those…Oh, fudge-cicles’!”

In the process of returning mocha to the desk Willow had managed to slam it into the desk instead and, tipping the cup, pour it all over her keyboard. Muttering dangerously under her breath she quickly flipped the keyboard over to dump as much of the sticky sweet drink as she could. The keys clattered, a few being depressed.

“Uh-oh,” Willow froze in her actions and looked up at the screens, remembering what she’d been doing. Hitting random keys while wandering through the Pentagon’s top secret files was not such a wise idea. Especially if you weren’t supposed to be there in the first place. Then she got a look at what was displayed. “What in the name of the goddess…?”

A silver seal rotated in the top right corner of a screen of black. It was a simple circle, with what looked almost like a capital A in the middle. Curious as to what she stumbled upon, Willow clicked on it with her mouse. After a few moments of reading she blinked and sat back.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me here,” the witch muttered, incredulous.

With an impatient wave of her hand she magicked away the mocha in her keyboard and set to finding out if what had popped up on the screen was real.

“The names aren’t right…well they would have changed them, wouldn’t they...,” the stutter of keys being pressed and the occasional harsher click of the mouse was all that was heard in the room as Willow searched. She had only been checking to make sure nobody was doing anything wiggy with demons or looking for the Scoobies. She’d never expected to find something like this within the depths of the Pentagon’s main server.

“It was just supposed to be a t.v. show.” Willow protested, then remembered something, “They did make that episode about how they used a t.v. show as cover. Maybe…”

Aliens, Willow snorted to herself, that’s just what we need! Like we don’t have enough problems with demons?Digging deeper she uncovered all kinds of information. It seemed that not everything on the show was correct. The device wasn’t called a Stargate, but rather a Star Portal. Frankly, Willow thought Stargate sounded better but then the military wasn’t exactly known for it’s imagination.

But they’d obviously covered this up well. Even though the names were changed and a few numbers were different it seemed the government really had been in contact with aliens for the past seven years. Maybe it was the same group that thought up the Initiative, she thought to herself. This sounds loony enough for them. She clicked open another file and her eyebrows shot up. It seemed the world had come close to ending a few more times than she thought it had.

“You’d think the odds would catch up with us after a while,” she spoke out loud to herself. “Oh Jeepers, that’s not good!”

Someone had caught onto her being in their system and they weren’t very happy with it. Frantically typing, Willow threw up blocks and false trails as she tried to back out of the system while not being traced.

“Jeez, these guys are good,” she was sweating a little now, “But I guess with all the alien technology around they’d have to be.”

She waved her hand to initiate a little magickal “can’t-catch-me” program she’d developed but to her immense surprise and annoyance it didn’t work. The guy on the other end broke right through it.

“Uh-oh,” Willow was really hustling how, throwing everything she had at the guy, but he still seemed to be breaking through. “Giles will not be happy if the Feds coming knocking at the door! All this because of some stupid aliens!”

Just as she was becoming really worried she caught the tail end of a frantic giggle coming from outside her door. She paused in typing a second as more giggles came through the door.

“What the…?” Willow waved her hand and the door slammed open toward her, spilling it’s contents into the room.

A frantically giggling Dawn and Xander, who was holding a camera, along with a triumphant Andrew, clutching his laptop to him, were sprawled on her floor. As Willow took in the sight and then looked back to her computer she saw in large blinking words “YOU’VE BEEN PUNKED” scrolled across her screen. All three intruders were laughing hysterically.

“You actually fell for it!” Dawn clutched at her stomach.

“T-That’s what you get,” Andrew pointed at her triumphantly, “One should never mess with the sacredness of J.K. Rowling!”

“Oh crap,” Xander muttered and rolled to his feet, being the first to notice Willow narrowing her eyes at them. “Let’s go, guys. We’ve outstayed our welcome.”

Andrew squeaked and jumped up and the two of them dragged a still laughing Dawn out of the room and down the hall, making a strategic retreat. The angry witch growled and the glass vase on her desk burst into shards.

“So you wanna go there,” she muttered darkly and turned back to her desk to plot. “That’s fine. Oh, it’s on now!”


Author's Note:

The war begins!

The End

You have reached the end of "The Stargate Scandal". This story is complete.

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