Disclaimer: See Chapter 1, or don’t. I don’t care. I really don’t. So you can stop reading the disclaimer now. I’m disclaiming this disclaimer! What? You’re still reading?! What’s wrong with you?? Don’t you have a life? No? Great! Read on then. J
Authors note 1: Sorry if this is on the short side.
Authors note 2: I just want to publicly say thank you to whoever nominated A Shinobi Halloween for the best Buffy/anime crossover. It ment a lot to me and my co-author to have our story nominated. Unfortinitly I could not except it because the last chapter came out before 01 Jan., 09. I hope we continue to be worthy of that nomination.
Outskirts of Sunnydale at the Bus Stop:
A tall dark haired man steps off the bus. His wide brimmed hat casts a shadow over his face. He is the only passenger, but his arrival does not go unnoticed. He passes a bum lying under the bus stop bench and continues on his way. The bum’s eyes zoom in on his face. A graying mustache is visible despite the shadow and his permanent scowl would be enough to make any human uneasy. Fortunately, no human is nearby.
At Sunnydale High School:
Ms. Calendar is nearing the end of her computer class. Suddenly, her pager goes off on her belt. She checks it and immediately tenses up. The other ninja in the room notice it, but the average student passes it off as ‘teacher business’. She quickly wraps up the class, giving out a little more homework than usual much to the students’ dismay. The students file out to get to their next classes. Kendra approaches her cautiously. “Is everything all right, Ms. Calendar?” she inquires.
Jenny smiles slightly, “Yes, everything is fine. You should get to class before you’re late.” She gathers her books and quickly exits the room. Kendra sniffs the air and frowns at the tension in the air. She dismisses it to leave to her next class. If Ms. Calendar needed help, she would ask for it.
At the Library:
Harmony strolls in the room wearing a purple miniskirt and a matching sleeveless top. Her hair is back in a ponytail, but she flips the hair out of habit while her eyes scan the room. She spots Giles filing books in his office. Walking up to him, she asks, “You called for me?”
She rolls her eyes when he instantly starts cleaning his glasses. “Yes, I did call you here. I…would like to apologize for my behavior during the spell. While I was under the influence of magic and…Jiraiya, I was not quite myself. I hope this will not cause any undue awkwardness in our work situation.”
“In other words, we should just forget it ever happened and move on with life, right? No awkwardness between coworkers on the field,” Harmony says with a smile, but her hands move to her hips.
He misses the subtle sign as he focuses on the papers in front of him, avoiding eye contact. “Exactly. I would prefer that the incident be discounted as a magic-related accident as per usual here in Sunnydale.”
Harmony leans forward on the desk, slamming her palms down against the desk. “Mr. Giles, don’t you know it’s rude not to look at someone when you’re talking to them?” She stares down at him. Wearing out yet another pair of glasses through constant rubbing, he looks up enough to see a fair amount of cleavage from the low-cut shirt and quickly looks back down at his glasses. She says, almost growling, “Jiraiya, look me in the face right now.” He gulps and hesitantly looks up at her face. After a second or two of maintaining eye contact with him, she grins, “Much better.” Before he knows what is going on, she grabs onto the front of his shirt, pulls him across the desk, and kisses him hard full on the lips. His eyes go wide and she kisses him for a moment longer before pushing him back into his chair. The wall behind him barely keeps the chair upright. She seems to think while licking her lips. “I’ll be back in a year or two when I’m legal. We’ll see what happens then.” She starts to walk out of the room, shaking enough to keep his attention.
“B-But, I don’t think that behavior is very approp—“ he begins.
She cuts him off as she glances over her shoulder, “I don’t care. You romanced me, seduced me, showed me the side of you that I really like. When I come back in a year or two, we will discuss this in detail one way or another.” She thinks about it again and her eyes bore into him. “Don’t bother trying to leave town in that time. I will find you.” She smiles seductively and places her hand on her exposed leg before strutting out of the library.
“But!” he yells as the doors close. He sighs loudly and leans back in his chair, his face flushed. The Jiraiya in the back of his mind is cheering him on for scoring such a hot young thing and for doing such a great job on the romancing. He can’t help but feel a moment of pride as he remembers the poetry he wrote for her on the floor…which took three hours to scrub out, though Harmony was studying the poem and writing something down in a notebook while he scrubbed it out…anyways! “You idiot,” he whispers to himself, “We almost raped her. Not even you would do that.”
The Jiraiya grins and whispers back, “She was more than willing by the time we got that far. No rape involved.”
“Statutory,” he grunts back.
“Technicalities,” Jiraiya retorts. “Plus, she won’t lose her figure or everything that makes her so incredibly luscious before she comes back legally! She will be ours and…”
“SHUT UP,” he shouts, standing up from his chair. A student who just entered the library hears him shout and quickly retreats to come back when the Librarian is in a better mood. Crazy teachers, but what can one do in Sunnydale? He sighs and sits down again. “I need help with this one. Who would know Harmony better than anyone else that would be…sensitive to the dangers in this delicate situation?” He flips out his cell phone and dials Joyce Summers.
“Hello?” Joyce answers the phone.
“Hello, Joyce. This is Rupert. I have a small problem that I need your help with.”
Several Minutes Later Outside of the Summer’s Home:
Several people are walking by the house when a nearly diabolical laugh ripples from the house. (MWAHAHAHAHA!) They pause to look at the house and walk faster past. In Sunnydale, you just don’t want to know. Ever.
At the Library:
“Joyce, this isn’t funny!” Giles groans as he rubs his temples with one hand. “Your student wants to...sleep with me. That’s very inappropriate and I cannot take advantage of a young woman like that! Besides, I don’t even see her in that way!”
“Jiraiya you does,” Joyce laughs.
“But I don’t! The Jiraiya side is not the dominant one! Please help?” he nearly begs.
“I’ll talk to her, but you’re on your own after that. You romanced her, remember?”
Giles glares at the phone dangerously. “And if Willow was after you for your charm during the spell, I would at least try to help you.” The killer intent more or less floods the library, directed at the tiny phone in his hand.
Joyce shrugs on the other end. “Maybe. But she hasn’t….that I know of. So, you need to talk to her. Maybe you could get some advice from Amy. She seems to know Harmony fairly well these days.” She “accidentally” leaves out the after-spell brawl at Amy’s apartment.
He sighs, “I already have women in my life, Joyce. I don’t need more problems.”
“Like my dear apprentice Jenny?”
“How long did it take you to figure that out? Five? Ten minutes?”
“If you don’t intervene, we will have your Apprentices brawling in the streets,” Giles warns. After a long moment of silence, he shouts into the phone, “It would not be funny!” The laughter finally bursts from the phone.
“Yeah, it would be!” she laughs. “But, I will talk to them. Hey! Are you calling us problems?” Joyce asks, mock offended.
Giles rolls his eyes, “Of course not, beautiful. A super-strength wielding babe, a mind-walking hottie, and a kunoichi well versed in poisons are not problems at all.”
“Are you saying that I’m one of the women in your life?” she suggests slyly.
He smirks, “No. You’d like that too much. I have to grade papers. Talk to you soon.” He hangs up. Joyce sighs and hangs up too.
Jenny Calendar sits in a chair in the middle of the room, watching the door. She checks her watch and refocuses on the door. A few seconds later, the man opens it quietly. “Hello, Uncle Ulof,” she says pleasantly despite the lack of smile on her face.
The man jumps slightly and glares at her. “Niece, what is happening here?”
“You just walked in,” she replies smoothly.
He stalks to her. “That is not what I meant! The Elder says that the suffering of Angelus has ceased! You reported everything was under control!”
“The Slayer killed him,” she states simply. “Everything is under control.”
Ulof grunts with a scowl, “The Gypsy Clan must have its vengeance! Angelus killed the one who was most precious to us and must suffer for eternity as we suffer!”
“Uncle, it was one girl, over a hundred years ago. How does making the human spirit of Liam suffer harm the demon?” Jenny asks calmly.
Ulof says louder, “Do not question me, girl! The Gypsy Clan is not interested in casualties. It is not interested in those caught in the crossfire. It is interested only in Angelus’ suffering.”
“Than I suggest you either go tell the Elder that Angelus is dead and live with the fact that our job is done, or you can go to hell and retrieve Angelus yourself.” She smiles sweetly. “I can have either arranged, dear Uncle.”
He stammers in outrage, “Y-you disrespectful, ungrateful whelp! The Elder will hear of this insolence! I will be back. Do not try to run. We will find you no matter where you hide!”
She smiles, “Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing. The door is behind you, Uncle. Use it.” His face is nearly red with fury but he huffs and leaves, slamming the door behind him.
He glares at anyone who passes him, until he passes a man reading a small orange book. Angel holds up a hand and gives him a half hearted, “Yo,” before continuing on his way. Ulof glares and then suddenly freezes in midstep. He slowly turns around and stares.
“Impossible!” he gasps. Angel hears it but decides to ignore it. Ulof runs after him and grabs his shoulder, turning him around. He stares at Angel’s currently unmasked face as the sunlight shines on his cheek. “Y-you’re...” He has a shaky finger pointing directly at Angel.
The one-eyed shinobi who has a henge covering his forehead protector follows his finger to the book he’s holding. “You’re a fan of Master Jiraiya as well?! I didn’t realize that he was widely published already! I mean, he talked about doing it, of course, but Lady Tsunade would have pulverized him. This makes me so happy!” Ulof blinks a few times. “What part is your favorite? I particularly like Komura in chapter three. When he seduces the young fair-haired girl during a particularly rough day at the dojo…you know, now that I think about it, it seems vaguely familiar.” Angel thinks and shrugs. “It must be because I’ve read this so many times. It’s fantastic! The plot is riveting! I wish I had such talent to write a book like this. I even got his autograph! See?” He opens the book to show Jiraiya’s autograph on the inside cover. He shuts it and looks back at him. “So who’s your favorite?” Angel has a wide smile and stares at him expectantly.
“Um…I…” Ulof begins.
“I know! It’s just so hard to pick, isn’t it? It’s all so good. Well, I have to get going. Later!” He turns and walks away.
Ulof whispers, “I thought you were someone else…” He turns around and walks the opposite way in a daze. “There is no way Angelus would be so…whatever that was. Still, to be on the safe side, I must inform the Elder of this. Whoever that is could be Angelus’ twin, and he’s walking around in the daylight! I also cannot forgive her behavior! How dare she treat me like that!”
He hurries towards his prepaid hotel room when a noisy car catches his attention. “Teenagers,” he grunts in annoyance. The Romanian gypsy stops briefly to glance at the car. A dark haired woman is hanging an arm out of a 1950’s convertible and head banging to the darker gothic music while a blonde man is driving fast with an evil grin plastered on his face. He follows the car with his eyes. “There’s something vaguely familiar…” he thinks. Suddenly, it hits him. “Those two as well?! That’s it! Vampires in Sunnydale have become immune to sunlight! I must report to the Elder immediately!” Drusilla blows him a kiss in passing, making him pale now that he realizes who she is. Who would have guessed? The Scourges of Europe have made Sunnydale their local hangout.
As they turn the corner, Spike turns to Drusilla and says, “You were right, luv. That was fun!”
Ulof stares after them blankly and immediately runs to his hotel room. He picks up the hotel room phone and dials the clan. “Get me the Elder!” he orders. “Sunnydale is much worse than we could have imagined!”
Preview for Future Episode:
Angel is jumping across treetops outside of Sunnydale on his way for some personal training. Something catches his attention. He follows his senses to see who is using chakra nearby. He lands in a tree and sees Kitty sitting in a cross-legged meditating position with her eyes closed under a large oak tree. A tree leaf sits in each palm as she tries to focus on making them hover. He smiles slightly at her efforts and turns to continue to his training spot. Something catches his eye; he slowly turns to stare closer. Angel lifts his forehead protector and gazes with the Sharingan. “Impossible,” he whispers with wide eyes.
Five Minutes Later at the Summer’s House:
Joyce sighs at the front door, “What’s the emergency, Kakashi?”
Angel breathes slightly heavier than usual and states, “You are not going to believe what I just saw!”
Ulof finishes his report to the Elder and asks for further instructions. The phone goes dead. “Hello? Hello!” he shouts into the phone. The lights flicker in his room before going completely out. He tries to open the door to find it stuck. He opens the window blinds and sees nothing but dark clouds and lightning. As lightning strikes somewhere in town, he turns around quickly, seeing nothing but furniture in his room. It fades back into darkness. The lightning flashes again, and now there are deadly looking warriors surrounding him. “Mr. Ulof,” begins the well endowed blonde that everyone seems to be surrounding. “We want to talk.” He begins screaming. A long while later, the clouds fade, the lightning flashes, Ulof is nearly having a heart attack, and everyone has vanished.
Xander and Andrew walk away side by side. Andrew announces, “That was so cool! I’ve always wanted to do an X-Men scene!”