Title: Nothing Is Forever
Disclaimer: I don’t own them
Rating: R (just to be sure)
Spoilers: For BtVS some for season five I think, I haven’t seen anything past season four and not even all of that, so I’m not too sure. It shouldn’t be anything big anyway.
Summary: Willow’s relationships never seem to go the way she’d want them to.
AN: My friend keeps telling me I should write something Harry Potter, since it was her birthday I decided to try. This is the result and it turned out much more angsty then I intended.
The bloodied knife slipped from her hands as she stumbled away from the dead body in front of her. The sound of the knife hitting the floor echoed in her mind as she stared at her bloody and shaking hands.
I don’t know where to begin. The beginning I suppose, but that was before my time and I don’t know much about it. Anyway the beginning is not my part of it, that’s someone else’s story to tell, mine is the end.
It shouldn’t have been it shouldn’t have been my story at all. Everything would have ended a whole lot different if I hadn’t gotten involved, but I did. I don’t know if this is a better ending, but I know it is definitely an ending and it is all mine. And his, always his.
She woke with a start. The nightmare hadn’t been a new one and as always when she woke from it she could still feel the blood on her hands. She knew it was only imagination, but it didn’t make it feel less real.
I suppose he could have been called the love of my life, had I not had two of those already. Can you love three persons, each one of them just as much as the others? I know I did, still do.
He was beautiful in every way. Like a blond, fallen angel, or at least that was how I saw him. Others saw him differently, but then again I got to see a side of him no one else ever saw. Others only saw what they wanted to see, what they’d been taught to see.
People believed that I was blinded by love, that I didn’t realize what he was. I was always quite aware of what and who he was, more so than anyone else, they only suspected, I knew. He was Draco Malfoy, pureblood wizard, Death Eater and the man I loved.
It wasn’t I who was blinded, it was everyone else. They were all fooled by my supposed innocence, everyone but him. He was the only one who knew that I had done things just as bad as he. He was the only one who knew that what I was then was not what I had always been.
She got out of the bed, careful not to wake the man sleeping beside her. She made her way out of the room in darkness, she didn’t need a light to guide her, she had done this too many times before not to find the way.
I’ll admit our relationship was pure madness. I was very much one of the good guys and he was very much... not. There were never a happy ending in sight for us, we never expected one. Neither of us believed in forever.
We were not blind to the realities of life, we saw them all too well and that was why we decided to be together, in despite of everything. We both knew life was fragile and far too short not to enjoy it while you could. We both knew you had to seize love with both hands wherever you could find it, because no matter what it would soon slip away.
We made the relationship work though. I never interfered in his Death Eater business and he never tried to stop me from fighting for the light. We talked about what we had done, but always in the past tense and we never mentioned names. There were never any illusions in either of our minds that one of us could be converted.
First when she reached her work room did she produce a small magical light in the palm of her right hand. The glow was faint, but it was enough for her to find the locked box in which she kept her journal.
Then the day came when our relationship was drawn into my fight for the light. They had found proof that Draco was a Death Eater. Everyone kept telling me how sorry they were, that I shouldn’t blame myself. They kept assuring me that they knew it had to be difficult for me. Then they asked me to bring him in.
They asked me to capture Draco, because I was the only one who could get close enough to him. Didn’t they realise he would never go down without a fight? They didn’t care much about the fact that he was the man I loved and of course if I brought in Draco I would prove to everyone I had not turned.
They planned it all. They even arranged backup for me, but of course I had to go in alone. “Go in”, it sounds like the place should have been dangerous, it was my home, damn it.
He knew right away that they had found out. He was so angry at them for not going after him themselves, because they made me do it instead. He knew however, as did I that from a tactical standpoint it had been the right choice.
There were no tears, no goodbyes or I love yous. We had promised each other that our relationship would not interfere with business and this was very much business. A fight would have been appropriate, but we both knew it was unnecessary, the outcome was obvious. I was after all much more powerful than him.
I had decided that he would not go down by magic, it would have been to clean, too impersonal. No, I would kill him with my own hands. Had they really thought that he could be taken alive?
In the faint light she read the well worn pages. She already knew what they said, she had after all been the one who had written them, but it would make her memories clearer.
Perhaps I stayed inside too long, or perhaps it was too quiet. It may have been that my backup did not trust in my abilities in capturing Draco. Whatever the reason the person that was my backup suddenly burst into the room, pointing his wand at my Draco.
It was in that instant my decision changed. I would not let someone take away the person I loved, not again. There was nothing but surprise on Ron Weasley’s face as I stabbed him. He at least seemed to have trusted me.
I felt my eyes and hair bleed black as I called forth the Dark Magics that would always be a part of me. For the longest time I had resisted the sweet call of that pure darkness, afraid that I would lose control once more, but as I filled every part of myself with the darkness I realised that I was now in control.
Draco showed no signs of fear as I approached him, but he was a Death Eater he knew better than to show his fear. His silvery eyes held no emotion as I told him to take me to his Dark Lord.
I do not know what made him choose the way he did. He gave his answer in a brief nod and the love that suddenly shown in his eyes. I did not question his betrayal of his Lord, just as he had not questioned my betrayal of the light.
The faint light still only barely illuminated the words she read as she heard the bedroom door open. She did not stop her reading as she heard footsteps heading towards the room she was in.
That was the night Voldemort fell and all the forces of light had to sacrifice was the life of Ron Weasley. It was not the way things were supposed to end, the ending was supposed to be Harry Potter’s not mine and Draco’s.
“The same nightmare?” a voice asked her, and she looked up into the silvery eyes of her lover. She didn’t need to answer him, this had happened enough times for him to know the answer.
“I’m alive, you didn’t kill me,” Draco assured her. “You changed the ending Willow.”
Willow nodded and put away her journal without reading the last words in it. She took her lovers hand and followed him to bed, she would sleep well now in his arms. Now that she had reminded herself of the true ending.
I’ll love Draco as long as I can and I’ll destroy everything that tries to come between us. I refuse to lose another love, but I still don’t believe in forever.