I own nothing. I bend to Joss Whedon's will and try my best not to murder his characters. I also own none of the characters on Big Wolf On Campus.
“Which one of you made me miss prom,” the She-Tong demanded. “It was an ‘Under The Sea’ theme and I had an awesome date, so which one of you was it?”
Merton pointed at the trio, “They did it!”
Everyone looked to where Merton was pointing in time to see a portal open up under Jonathan, Warren, and Andrew. They were all sucked in and the portal closed quickly after.
Merton grinned nervously at the She-Tong, “Hello, there. My name is Merton J. Dingle. These are my associates, Buffy Summers, Tommy Dawkins, Xander Harris, and Spike.” Merton took a few steps forward away from the group. “I’d like to say we had nothing to do with those guys. Spike actually broke the devise that was controlling you. So, you can consider us the good guys, the lone rangers, the superheroes, the-”
Tommy grabbed Merton’s shoulder, “I think she gets the picture.”
“Right,” Merton smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, I’ll just shut up now.”
“You’re funny,” the She-Tong giggled. “My name is much longer than you humans can pronounce, so you can call me Mel. The one called Spike. I shall give you anything you ask. What would you like?”
Spike looked up at Mel, “To go home would be bloody brilliant if you ask me. I doubt you have a cure for being a werewolf.”
“Yeah, I don’t have a cure for werewolves, but I can get you and everyone I took home. I can fulfill that request. Who should I take home first?”
“Can you take home the townspeople first?” Xander asked. “We’d like to say goodbye to our friends.”
“Sure, I’ll be back once I’m done.”
Mel disappeared into a portal leaving them alone. They were quiet. No one knew how to begin saying goodbye.
“I’ll always think of you guys as friends,” Merton said. “Whenever I turn on the tv to sit down and watch Sarah Michelle Gellar or James Marsters, I’ll think of you guys, my friends.”
“And when I watch Danny Smith and Brandon Quinn,” Xander said, “I’ll think of you. It was really great to meet you. I’m going to miss you, a lot.”
“Hey, Tommy,” Spike said. “Can we have a word?”
“Uh, yeah sure,” Tommy responded a bit confused.
Spike waited until they walked out of hearing range before he started talking, “Hey, mate. Just wanted to tell you, since you’re going back to your own dimension, you should make the moves on the nerd.”
“I told you-”
“Yeah, you don’t go that way. It’s obvious he cares about you. You should just give it a go. The whelp might surprise you. I know Xander did.”
“But, see I’m just not into guys.”
“Don’t matter if he’s a guy or not. Would you do anything for him? Give you life for him and all that rot?”
“Yeah, of course. Merton’s my best friend, he’s always been there for him and I’ve always been there for him. Like there was his onetime Merton wanted to do a musical and he dressed me up in several different costumes…” Tommy trailed off knowing he wasn’t exactly sounding straight.
Spike was about to reply when the She-Tong came back.
“We’re going back first!” Merton called to him.
“Oi, remember what I told you,” Spike said to Tommy.
Tommy nodded and entered the portal with Merton and Mel.
Xander scratched at his flea collar as he lay in bed with Spike. Spike had insisted he wear it even though Merton was gone.
“It’s bothering me!” Xander complained.
“I don’t care, I don’t want any fleas. You can keep them to yourself.”
“Fine,” Xander sighed. “So, you don’t mind I’m all wolfy now?”
“Not a bit,” Spike said while he kissed Xander’s knuckles. “Actually a bit glad.”
“Yeah? Why’s that?”
“Means I don’t have to hold back during sex,” Spike leered.
“Hey, buddy, we agreed we’d keep the paws off while I adjusted to this werewolf thing.”
“Yeah, I know. Don’t mean I have to like it.”
“Silly Spike. Do you think Merton and Tommy have a problem when they, you know?”
“You think those two are doing it?” Spike asked in disbelief.
“Everyone knows they’re doing it! They’re practically canon!”
“I’m going to miss them,” Merton said on their way back to the dorm room. “Especially Mel. She was a feisty vixen, don’t you think? I wonder if she was interested in me.”
“Look, Merton-buddy,” Tommy began.
“You don’t have to pretend you’re interested in women. Spike told me. You’re interested in me.”
“Oh,” Merton said flatly. “Well, he wasn’t exactly lying. I do have certain feelings for you, but I would never let that get in the way of our friendship. I promise.”
“Merton, for once can you just shut up and listen? I’m trying to be open here.”
“Right, sorry. Go ahead. But, before you cancel our friendship, I think I at least deserve a montage or a short clip devoted to all that I’ve done for you. How I’ve kept your secret through the years-”
“If you would just shut up I could tell you I was maybe interested in you too!”
Merton his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He tried again, still no words. Tommy had completely shocked him. He never thought the jock he had been pining over for the past few years could actually love him back.
“Wow,” Tommy said with a grin. “If I knew that was all it took to stop you from talking, I’d have tried that years ago.”
“Hey!” Merton protested.
But, his protests died out when Tommy leaned in and kissed him. Merton smiled and leaned into the kiss. Now he’d have to find a way to get in contact with that other dimension. Merton really needed to thank Spike.