Colliding With WolvesAuthor:
Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Big Wolf On CampusDisclaimer:
I own nothing. I bend to Joss Whedon's will and try my best not to murder his characters. I also don't own any of the characters on Big Wolf On Campus.
Merton and Tommy tumbled out of the portal and landed on the graveyard floor. Merton shot up onto his feet and looked around. Tommy groaned and picked himself off the floor looking at his excited friend.
“Oh yeah,” Merton said excitedly. “This proves the trans-dimensional She-Tong really does exist.”
“Right so this Shelong-”
“She-Tong. Note the t.”
“So this She-Tong
, where is it?”
Merton raised a finger then dropped it, “I don’t know. Where are we anyway? This does not look like any of the cemeteries in Pleasantville.”
“That’s because you’re not in Pleasantville anymore,” an accented voice said.
They turned to see a medium height man standing behind them. He had bleached blonde hair and high cheekbones. He was dressed in all black including a heavy duster and thick boots even though the weather was quite warm. Merton gulped and clung to Tommy.
“That’s Spike! From Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Let’s just hope he’s season five Spike and not season two Spike.”
“What happened?” Tommy asked trying not to wolf out.
“Oh, well, the fanfare for Spike in season two caused Buffy writers to reconsider the roll of Spike as disposable villain instead they decided to bring him back on the show-”
“In the tv show!”
“Uh, well season two Spike was a mass murdering PSYCHOPATH. While season five Spike was neutered and deeply in love with Buffy.”
Spike pointed a finger at them, “Oi, I wasn’t neutered. I was just chipped. If I wanted to I could go to Pleasantville and burn down both your houses without setting the chip off.”
“Yeah, you can try Bleachboy,” Xander said coming up from behind him.
Xander and Merton pointed at each other, “You’re Xander Harris!” “You’re Merton Dingle!”
“”I’M A BIG FAN!””
“”You’re a fan!?””
Spike rubbed his temple, “Can we stop with the double speak? It’s giving me a bloody headache.”
“We should take them to Giles.”
Merton jumped excitedly, “We’re going to Giles’s! We’re going to meet the Slayer!”
Tommy looked concerned, “Is she anything like Muffy?”
“Oh, no!” Xander said. “Werewolves are our friends. We used to know one, his name was Oz. He cheated on Willow and left. He almost had his wolfy powers under control, too bad Willow makes him all weird.”
“You should probably avoid wolfing out, Tommy. We don’t know if your wolfy powers have been changed or anything because of the trip. So, has Dawn arrived on the scene yet? Buffy met Dracula?”
“Ponce owes me eleven quid,” Spike muttered.
“Who’s Dawn?” Xander asked.
“Oh, nevermind then. In our world, we’re up to season six.”
“In our world, Big Wolf on Campus is on season two. But, I don’t want any spoilers, okay?”
“I’ll try not to give anything away. Oh, but can I just say one thing. One tiny little thing?”
Tommy grasped Merton’s shoulder, “He said he didn’t want any spoilers, whatever that means.”
Spike lit a cigarette, “I’d love to sit here and talk nerd, but I’ve had a long day and I want to get back to the Magic Box so I can get paid. You are either coming or you’re staying here to be vamp food. Your choice, I ain’t slowing down.”
Xander smiled at them, “Don’t worry. He’d wait. He just likes to sound tough.”
Spike snorted and started walking, Xander, Tommy, and Merton keeping a close pace behind the annoyed vampire.
“Amazing!” Giles said after he listened to Merton’s story. “You’ve been tracking the She-Tong in your dimension? I must say, you probably have some advanced research material.”
“Not to brag, but yeah. I do. I also subscribe to a number of online databases, plus I have an extensive horror movie collection. And I should show you my lair. It has everything from wolf’s bane to battle axes. Oh, and a few stakes for the occasional vampire or two.”
“Your lair is just half our dorm room,” Tommy reminded him.
Xander bounced on the balls of his feet as THE Merton J. Dingle sat in the Magic Box. Tommy and Merton were sitting at the table while Giles talked to them. Buffy was standing at the far corner near the counter. Spike was on the ladder leading up to the restricted section as usual, Xander standing next to him, still bouncing and annoying Spike. Willow and Tara were pulling out books that Giles had told them to get on the She-Tong.
“Why were you tracking the She-Tong?” Willow asked him, putting the books down in front of Giles.
“Because people all over Pleasantville have been disappearing and Merton said that according to his equipment, a number of portals have been opening randomly around town,” Tommy said.
“Someone didn’t believe me though,” Merton said. “We weren’t going to harm it. The She-Tong are said to be peaceful creatures, but we believe this one has a purpose. We jumped through one of the portals hoping that it would lead us to where it was keeping them, but we ended up here.”
“A She-Tong is kidnapping innocents and bringing them to this dimension?” Buffy asked. “We have to stop it. I’ll get my ax.”
“Don’t you listen, Slayer. The nerd said it was peaceful,” Spike said.
Merton seemed annoyed, “Not a nerd. I’m a goth, note the black. But, yes. There could be a number of reasons for this strange behavior. It could be mating season or something could be controlling it. These people could even be falling into the portals by accident. We just don’t know.”
“How were you planning on getting back?” Giles asked.
“I was hoping that the She-Tong could be persuaded to send us back and if that didn’t work. I brought a spell book and ingredients I rented from the library.”
“I would love to see what kind of spells you have in your world!” Willow said excitedly.
Merton looked sheepish, “Unfortunately, I dropped the bag after getting attacked by a gang of marauding vampires. Then we unknowingly entered a portal after I spotted the She-Tong. If they tear that book or make me get a late fee, they are so going to be more than dust.”
“So that’s why the bag smelled funny,” Tommy said. “I thought you just forgot your ham and cheese sandwich in it again.”
“It was the one time and you are forgetting the point. We’re stuck here until we find a spell or the She-Tong to bring us back.”
“Looks like you guys are on research duty,” Buffy said. “I’ll get Riley and we’ll go patrolling.”
“I never liked Riley especially after-”
Merton was cut off by Xander, “No! I said no spoilers! None at all!”
Buffy pouted, “No, I want to know what Reilly does. What does he do? Is it bad?”
“Oh, he just starts taking the pills the Initiative gave him again. It goes into this whole big thing where he’s about to die and needs a doctor. Then after a really weak plot twist, he realizes Buffy doesn’t love him and skips town.”
“Hey! I love him… sort of.”
“Is it an Initiative doctor?” Spike asked hopefully.
“Don’t get me started on your plot line,” Merton said with a laugh. “Could the writers kill your character more?”
Spike gave him an odd look, but didn’t say anything.
“Can I hang with Merton now?” Xander asked.
“You want to hang with me?” Merton asked surprised.
“Yeah! You’re the coolest character on the show! You’re funny and all watchery like Gile, then you’re all brainy like Willow.”
Merton grinned, “Yeah? Well, I do have a certain charm. Where do you keep your slayer weapons?”
“In the back, wanna see?”
Merton hopped out of his chair and followed an excited Xander into the back room.
“Guess everyone expects old Spike to do babysitting duty,” Spike said getting off the ladder. “Nevermind what he wants, just make sure the whelp doesn’t shoot his new friend’s eye out.”
“Spike, we never asked you to-” Willow began.
“I knew it was coming though. You always make me look after the whelp. It gets bloody annoying it does. One day I won’t be around to look after him. I’d like to see what you lot do then.”
Spike disappeared into the training room with the hem of his duster swirling around him as he walked.
“For an evil vampire, you have to admit that is cool,” Tommy said.
Giles took off his glasses and polished them, “Tommy, if it is not too much trouble. Maybe you could join them and keep an eye on all three of them. Spike has a way of riling Xander.”
“Say no more, G-man, Tommy Dawkins is on the case.”
“I do wish people would stop calling me that.”
Tommy got up from where he was sitting and walked into the back room where Merton, Xander, and Spike had disappeared. Merton and Xander were standing next to the weapons rack admiring the rare pieces that they had. Spike was on the other side of the room, casually smoking and watching them. Tommy leaned against the wall Spike was leaning against and tried not to choke on the smoke.
“So, you and the nerd together?” Spike asked him stubbing the cigarette out against the wall, leaving a sooty burn mark on it.
“Like in bed, you know, doing the nasty, shagging his nerdy brains out.”
“We don’t do that! Merton and me are just friends!”
“You seemed pretty snug back in the cemetery.”
“Merton does that a lot when he’s scared. He used to cling to Lori too, but she went to a different college than us, so it’s just me and Merton now.”
Spike rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say.”