The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over the La-y Dog
Author's Note/Disclaimer: Yes, I will finish Martian Manhunter, and That's What You'll Take to the Grave. In the meantime, enjoy this little story -- I am ever on a quest to do the most obscure crossovers I can. This story is set in a nebulous post-season 7 timeframe; I don't follow season 8 continuity.
The island of Nollop, its inhabitants, and the background plotline are the work of Mark Dunn, who created the fabulous novel Ella Minnow Pea
, from which they're taken. Joss created Willow and Giles. Emma-Lynn Noell is my original character, one of the Slayers activated by Willow's spell, as are Moon and her underlings.
M L N O L
The quick brown fox jumps over the la-y dog
M L N O L
Thursday, August 10
Dear Mr. Giles,
Willow and I got here with no problems, except that we had to charter a boat here -- there's no airport on the island and the tourist traffic, apparently not that big to begin with, has been almost completely halted. (I also see now why you wanted me to come along -- they have limited phone use and no internet. Willow's already going cra -- er, insane -- but I'm used to writing letters. Thank God for Miss Manners, I say.)
When we got there, we found out why. We hadn't been off the boat for ten minutes when Willow and I started hashing out where we were going to find Moon and her underlings. Willow mentioned "You know, that crazy vampire could be anywhere on the island -- the entire thing is on a magic node, you know, kind of like a Hellmouth only, you know, not as mean --"
I was starting to drift off -- a combination of Willowbabble and technobabble tends to do that to me -- when a Nollopton police officer came up to us. He tapped Willow on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, miss, you're going to have to come with us."
"What? Vampire? Did I say vampire? I meant, umpire. You know, Emma, that retired major league umpire we're looking for --"
"Not what we meant, miss. Come along."
They didn't have any problems with me going with her, so I followed them. You would have thought we were going to end up in a police station, but instead went to the center of town, where the officer showed us a statue of a dude who turned out to be the island's founder, Nevin Nollop. Around the pedestal were the words, "The quick brown fox jumps over the la-y dog ." The officer explained to us that this sacred sentence -- his words, not mine -- was the creation of Mr. Nollop, and contained every single letter in the alphabet. Now that the -- the 26th letter had fallen out, that was a sign from the "Revered Nollop" that that letter was no longer to be used in speech or writing, and that this was to serve as our warning. As we were tourists, we would not have our personal effects taken from us, but we were to keep them in the hotel at all times, and that otherwise we would be bound by the same laws everyone else had to follow.
He was disappointed when we didn't shout out an amen or something, but he let us go to our hotel after that.
When we got there, Willow said, "That's cra--"
"Willow --" I said.
"Well, it is."
"Of course it is. Still. When in Nollop, don't as the Nollopians don't. So, how are we going to find Moon?"
We hashed out some strategies for a while after that. Asking around would be more difficult without using the 26th letter, but I'm going out tomorrow to do that, and Willow's going to try something magical. We suspect the Nollopians don't want their homeland to become the staging ground for Moon's extradimensional masters any more than we do.