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Snippets and Tidbits

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Summary: Some little snippets and tiny ficlets that probably won't become full fics. If any of these speak to your inner bunny, feel free to run off with them.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralBugeyedmonsterFR1875,639012,0128 Jan 099 Feb 09No

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Untitled The Pretender/Torchwood crossover

Title: Untitled The Pretender/Torchwood crossover
Author: Bug Eyed Monster
Rating: Adult
Category: General
Spoilers: None
Warnings: none really
Summary: Captain Jack Harkness corrupts Jarod. The Centre had better beware.


Captain Jack Harkness pushed Jarod up against the wall in his apartment and kissed him. Jarod blinked in surprise. Jack’s body was hot against his, one thigh was brushing Jarod’s crotch, and he could feel Jack’s hips rubbing against him.

Jack broke away and gave Jarod a rakish smile that promised naughty things. His smile got even wider at the expression on Jarod’s face.

“I…uhm… well… I’ve never exactly kissed a guy before.” Jarod could feel the blush on his face.

Jack kept his body pressed against Jarod’s. “I sort of guessed that.” His grin widened and he continued to brush his thigh against Jarod’s crotch. Jarod could feel his neither region rise, and he could feel Jack’s erection as well. Jack kissed him again. Jarod couldn’t help but noticed that the Captain both smelled and tasted rather nice.

Jarod was at a loss of what to do with his hands, or how to use his tongue to kiss back. He wrapped one arm around Jack, and used the other to stroke Jack’s side. He tried manipulating Jack’s tongue with his own, but withdrew when Jack almost bit his tongue.

Jack broke the kiss and snorted. Jarod laughed outright.

“I’ve been anticipating new experiences since breaking out of the Centre.” Jarod said nervously. He took the initiative and started unbuttoning Jack’s shirt. Jack didn’t have an undershirt on. There would be nothing but bare skin under Jack’s shirt.


“Can we take this to the bedroom?” Jarod asked, suddenly finding himself breathless. “I think I’d be more comfortable there than against the wall.”

Jack’s grin got even bigger. “Of course. I promise to be gentle.”


Lyle and his goons, Ms Parker, Sydney and Broots had all fallen very nicely into Jarod’s trap. He tied them up while they were still out from the gas.

Jarod propped them up against the wall in sitting positions. He removed and destroyed any and all GPS items they had on them, including their cell phones.

Jarod wondered, Lyle or Ms Parker… Lyle or Ms. Parker.

They woke pretty much all about the same time.

Ms Parker tried to rub her eyes and found that her hands were tied by a short cord to her ankles. She looked around, and saw her brother, two of his goons, Broots and Syndey. They were trussed up as she was, all lined up and sitting against the wall in the musty warehouse like dolls.

And Lab-rat, who sat on a barrel grinning at them while sipping something that smelled of coffee and chocolate.

“Ah, you’re awake. I’d offer you coffee, but this is all I have.” Jarod said and slurped his coffee.

Ms. Parker glared at him. The effects of the gas faded away rapidly. Her eyes didn’t feel fuzzy anymore. “What do you want?” She growled at Jarod.

“I spoke to Jack Harkness yesterday.” Jarod smiled cheerfully. “He said you visited him, but you didn’t stay for any fun.” Ms. Parker could feel her eyes cross at the thought of just what the raunchy Captain Jack Harkness might have been teaching Jarod. “He’s lots of fun, he spent a few days teaching me-“

“Stop!” Ms Parker did not want to know what Harkness had taught Jarod.

Captain Jack Harkness of Torchwood had flirted shamelessly with both herself and Broots; then he had attempted to flirt with Sydney. When she pointed her gun at him, Harkness had only laughed. Broots and Syndey had dragged her away from the Torchwood office after Sydney got a call from Raines telling them that Torchwood was off limits.

Broots had found information that Jarod might be working for Torchwood. He could have even been hiding in their office at that moment. Who cared about what Torchwood might have felt about Centre operatives in their offices; she had a lab rat to catch.

“When I catch you, Jarod, I’ll have you chained up on my wall.” Lyle growled. Jarod gave a rakish devil-may-care grin more reminiscent of Harkness than his usual manner. Jarod appeared to be considering something while he used his tongue to play with coffee stirrer in his mouth. Ms. Parker wondered when Jarod had developed an oral fixation.

“Backside or front side?” Jarod asked Lyle with a sly grin.

Ms Parker felt her jaw drop. She glanced at Syndey, who had an unreadable expression on his face. Broots looked absolutely pole-axed.

Lyle started to spout nonsense angrily. Jarod hopped off the barrel, grabbed her brother by the lapels and kissed him.

Now she was pole axed. She couldn’t think of any response to seeing Jarod kiss Lyle. Neither could Lyle for a bit, but then Jarod quickly drew back as Lyle tried to bite him.

“No, not that hard.” Jarod said. He lowered Lyle back to a sitting position. “While it might be kinky fun to try that again, I have got to be going. Got a ride to catch. Don’t worry, I’ll call Mr. Parker and let him know where to find you guys as soon as I’m safely away.” Jarod smiled, picked up his drink and left.

“I think Harkness has corrupted Jarod.” Broots said unnecessarily.


Ms. Parker awoke with the remains of a very naughty dream featuring Harkness and Jarod drifting away like cobwebs in the wind. Her panties were sopping wet. She yanked them off and tossed them into the wastebasket. She staggered to the bathroom, changed out of her PJs and donned fresh new DRY panties.

Ms. Parker was about to lie back down, but then decided to change the sheets as well. Damn Jarod. That damned Pretender.

The phone rang as she was changing the sheets. Ms Parker picked it up.

“What!” she snapped into the phone.

“Did you know that there is a game called ‘naked hide and go seek’?” Jarod said. “Jack taught it to me. According to the rules-“

Ms. Parker slammed the receiver into the handset as hard as she could. She rubbed her forehead and tried not to think about a well-built Jack Harkness playing naked games. If she went back to bed now, she’d have wet panties again by morning.

Maybe a workout was what she needed. Yes, a nice tiring workout followed by a very cold shower.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Snippets and Tidbits" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 9 Feb 09.

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