Disclaimer: I forgot before, but.... I own nothing of Stargate or Buffy. They are owned by MGM, Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon and others.
Holiday Fic for MadamAuthor
Crossover fandom: Stargate SG-1/BtVS
Characters: Giles, Daniel Jackson, Jack O'Neill
Max Rating: FR18
Three things you'd like to see: Daniel asks for Giles' help on a translation or vice versa, Daniel and Giles having a grand old time talking about completely dead cultures and languages, Jack O'Neill desperately trying to entertain himself or distract them
What you DON'T want to read: Romance of any form. Humor is good--stupidity isn't.
Christmas theme: If possible
Timeline: Nothing specific. If you read my Contact series, you can reasonably place this in there somewhere, but there are no direct references.
Spoilers: Just the existence of Dawn, although you don’t really even need to know that.
AN: This is super late. Hectic holiday season and now I’m sick…
“Would you accept boredom as an answer?”
Daniel rolled his eyes and barely restrained himself from sighing. Surprisingly Dr. Giles just chuckled and shook his head.
The older man smiled slightly before clapping Daniel on the shoulder. “My condolences. At least my little annoyances have the excuse of youth.”
There was a loud snort in stereo. Giles glared at the person in the doorway, while Daniel glared at Jack.
The person in the doorway was Dawn. “Yeah right, Giles. I’m the youngest and I’m 32, married and a mother now. Youth is not exactly what I would call it.”
Jack clapped his hands together and grinned. “Well, look at the time. 1800 hours, quittin’ time. I’ll see you in the morning.”
With that he walked past the gentlemen and extended his arm to Dawn. She looked at him a moment, giggled, and put her arm through his as they left.
Giles and Daniel shared a look before muttering in stereo, “The world is doomed.”Earlier that day…
Boredom really was the only answer Jack could think of for why he did it.
Daniel called in Dr. Giles and his assistant Dawn to help translate some historical text from PX6371. Apparently it was tricky because the language used had more than one base in the languages or Earth… or something. The point was that Jack couldn’t hide out in Daniel’s office and avoid paperwork since they were there. Usually not that much of a problem, there was plenty more SG-1 to suit his needs after all. But today the rest of the team was gone, leaving Jack at loose ends.
Now, yes, Jack was a responsible adult, and paperwork was an important part of his job. But… he hated it. And it was Christmas Eve! It was a crime to even be on base on Christmas Eve, much less doing actual work.
At first he tried to entertain himself the old fashioned way. He annoyed Walter.
That wasn’t much fun though. Walter was truly unflappable.
Jack then spent a good chunk of the morning placing mistletoe in odd places. That was good for a few laughs.
By lunch he was bored again. After eating with Dawn and a nap in his office he came up with the idea that would occupy him for the rest of the day. The execution was the rub.
He was getting old after all. Certain physical feats were more trouble than they were worth. But then that’s what accomplices are for.
It wasn’t difficult to rope Dawn into it. She would gather the supplies and give him a boost, and all he had to do was stand on a chair and blow pellets through an air vent with a straw. Oh, and he got to watch their reactions.
To keep air flowing through the underground complex, all of the offices had metal vents into the adjoining rooms. The vents were covered with a wide mesh and could not be removed, but you could still see into the next room, and a straw would fit through the mesh easily. The trick was not to work in a pattern and to stay quiet enough not to be caught.
The pellets were actually Grape Nuts cereal, Dawn’s idea, and they would trade places a couple of times to make an appearance in the room while the pelting was occurring. No reason to get caught.
It started simply enough. At the end of one of Daniel’s rambling sentences, Jack let loose and pelted him in the arm.
Daniel rubbed his arm, looked around a bit and went back to his work.
After a few minutes he did it again. Same reaction.
Jack could only keep this up for so long, he was about as patient as a kid jacked up on candy canes. Unfortunately, his impatience was his downfall.
After about 2 hours Jack sent a piece of cereal right at Daniel’s face. It would have been great, except Daniel moved and Jack ended up hitting a coffee mug that was teetering on the edge of the desk. The mug fell and caused a great racket confusing the hell out of Daniel.
This worked in his favor really, except that Dr. Giles had seen it and twigged that something was up. And of course he just HAD to tell Danny.
Didn’t he have a sense of humor?
Apparently not one that really got Jack’s personal style.
Anyway, as he walked out of Danny’s office with his accomplice he whined. “How come you didn’t get lectured?”
Dawn shook her head. “In about 2 minutes my husband is going to call. He’s going to tell me to act like an adult and not a child. He’s going to tell me that I’m setting a bad example for our children. And then he’s going to laugh hysterically. That’s because I’m a generally mature and responsible adult. Also, I’m cuter.”
Jack scoffed, but sure enough, the phone rang. He eavesdropped shamelessly to her side of the conversation.
“Yes, I did.”
“I understand that”
“If you don’t tell them, they won’t know about it.”
After a few seconds of silence on her end, Dawn looked Jack straight in the eye and said, “Would you accept boredom as an answer?”