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A New Brand of Chaos

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Summary: Xander isn’t exactly sure how to explain how he gained three lovers. He is, however, sure the shit’s going to hit the fan.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > GeneraltootsFR1878,92653026,08612 Jan 092 Feb 09Yes

Chapter Seven: Legally Committed

Legally Committed

Marcus was leaning over Xander in a slightly maniacal manner. “I’m keeping you and Faith,” he hissed sort of violently. “Either you wear a ring or a pair of chains. I don’t care which, just as long as you’re mine.”

Xander glanced at Faith out of the corner of his eye around Marcus and saw that he’d be getting no help from her. Marcus hadn’t reacted the best to their little round of kidnap and torture. Xander wilted in weary resignation. “Oh, all right. We’ll get married. But I will kill any of you that takes up recreational drinking.”

“This is where you tell us you love us,” Faith said cheerfully.

Xander peeped around a slightly stunned Marcus to Faith, who winked at him. Blaise was standing beside her, looking sort of stunned, too.

Xander shifted so that he was blinking innocently up at Marcus. “Well?”

Marcus scowled a bit before shrugging. “I love you all.”

Xander patted Marcus’s chest. “See? That didn’t hurt. And I love you three, too.”

Faith smirked. “Ditto.” She nudged Blaise. “Your turn. Be mushy.”

Blaise cocked an eyebrow at her but finally nodded. “Me as well.”

Xander nodded. “Now. Who wants to tell Buffy and Willow?”

Blaise winced a little like he always did at the thought of telling Buffy and Willow bad news.

Marcus just stomped towards the door. “I’ll tell Mr. Giles. He can tell them. Bloody insane little chits…” he muttered all the way out the door.

Faith came over and pressed herself against Xander’s front. “Celebration sex?”

Xander hauled her up and carried her off to the bedroom, Blaise right behind them. “Sure. If you want.”
… … …
Buffy did most of the decorating, slipping easily into party dictator mode. Giles followed along after her making sure no one tried to kill her when all was said and done.

The big day dawned bright and sunny and Xander was a ball of nerves. Willow had insisted that the four of them be kept separate until the ceremony started. Marcus and Blaise were amazingly willing to comply with her wishes.

Beyond the nerves and the last minute freaking out, the ceremony started out beautifully. The guys wore suits instead of tuxes and Faith had threatened to irreparably damage anyone who mentioned her wearing white so she was in a simple silver sheathe. Xander managed to make it to the altar without freaking out or being visited by someone with false memories to plant. It was really lovely.

So, of course, it all went to hell. The Head Priestess who was presiding had just bound their hands with gold cord when the doors burst open and a bunch of bad guys flooded into the room.

“Skip to the important part!” Xander yelled as everyone hit the floor to avoid a hex.

“It’s all important!” she shrieked back.

“The most important part!” Everybody on the side of the Light shouted as they jumped up to do some damage.

She stared a quick chant and the four felt the cord tighten around their wrists. Then she shouted, “Do you?”

They each shouted, “Yes!” and the bonds disappeared leaving a simple gold band and they waded into the fray.

“Bow before me, pitiful Muggles, filth upon which I spit! I am Lord Voldemort!” He lifted his wand and pointed it at Xander.

Which was about the time Buffy came up behind him and split him clean down the middle with the Slayer’s Scythe. The other Death Eaters tried to flee but Willow’s strenuous chanting paid off and all of the robed figures were transformed into rats, which were flung into quickly conjured barrels.

Buffy wondered up to the altar region, Scythe propped against her shoulder and said, “Nice ceremony, wasn’t it?”

Faith snorted. “Sure, B. Just lovely.”

“Are you going to chop in half every being that tries to maim me?” Xander grinned.

Buffy eyed Marcus and Blaise, idly spinning the Scythe. “Absolutely.”

Dawn bounced up grinning. “I hope this doesn’t happen on my wedding day.”

Buffy choked, her grip on the Scythe tightening. “What wedding?”

Dawn grinned angelically at her. “The one I’m having soon. Before I start to show.”

Fury covered Buffy’s face and she marched off towards the first shock of white blond hair she saw screaming, “Draco Malfoy, you knocked up my sister! I’m gonna cut off your bits and feed them to you!”

Dawn sighed and shook her head. “She took it better than I thought she would.”

She hurried off to stop her sister from maiming her fiancé and left the four standing at the front of the room alone.

Marcus turned to Faith and said, “You know, the war’s ended. How do you feel about children?”

It was her turn to look both panicked and appalled.

The End

You have reached the end of "A New Brand of Chaos". This story is complete.

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