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A New Brand of Chaos

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Summary: Xander isn’t exactly sure how to explain how he gained three lovers. He is, however, sure the shit’s going to hit the fan.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > GeneraltootsFR1878,92653025,79312 Jan 092 Feb 09Yes

Chapter One: Honey Trap

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter or Buffy or Angel.

Author’s Note: Don’t ask me how this came about. I started writing it a couple of years ago and it stalled. I’m pretty sure I’ve got it mapped out now, though, so we’ll see how it turns out. Eventually. Also, this story’s AU, set in a world where Voldemort isn’t killed by the time Harry and co. graduate Hogwarts. Because I have rules about hooking up underage children with adults.


Chapter One: Honey Trap
Xander was trying to figure out how to explain how he’d ended up with three lovers. His friends would surely consider it bizarre.
… … …
He’d gone on a recruitment mission with Draco Malfoy and Faith. Xander’d pretty much been sent to keep the other two from being swayed to the other side. And things had gone pretty much as planned at the beginning. Draco knew his former housemates frighteningly well. Pansy Parkinson had had a nice fifteen minute chat alone with Faith and promptly switched sides. Millicent Bulstrode was offered protection from her father and she took it with much shaking and gratitude.

Things fell apart when Malfoy went to work on Blaise Zabini and Marcus Flint. Malfoy had explained that both Zabini and Flint had something other than just pure wizard in their bloodline, not unusual in the older family lines. For the most part, it changed little about them in their day-to-day lives. Only specific things were changed. Marcus’s build and Blaise’s eerie grace could be attributed to it. And so could their sex drives. Apparently, shortly after they hit the peak of puberty, around sixteen or seventeen, they’d craved sex with an intensity that was abnormal, even for teenage boys.

Malfoy had decided to pull a honey trap on the two of them. He was going to lure them away with two partners that would be almost equally as voracious: himself and Faith. Malfoy had told Xander that when his brain wasn’t focused almost completely on sex, Blaise was a decent enough friend. And Marcus was something of a mentor. He wouldn’t mind sleeping with them to get them out of the Dark Lord’s grasp.

But when he offered, they both denied him. Something about it being too much like screwing a brother.

They had taken one look at Xander and Faith as he escorted her to their table and said if they could have those two, they’d follow him anywhere. Xander’d been a bit perturbed. Faith was understandable to his mind. Decked out in all her leather glory, she was wet dreams personified. He knew he wasn’t bad looking once you got past the scars, the missing eye, or the fact that he tended to be more soft and cuddly, especially around the middle, than utterly ripped. He just didn’t think he was worth changing sides for. They hadn’t even known his name, for the Powers’ sake. Yet they’d looked at him and Faith standing side by side like the two were a feast and they were starving men.

He argued with them about choosing him as one of their prizes. He let slip that, as long as they weren’t expecting love any time soon, he wouldn’t mind sleeping with any of the three. That seemed to be all that the other two needed. Then he hissed that he didn’t see why they were choosing him. That he knew for certain more attractive prospects had been mentioned.

That had upset Faith into almost flubbing the entire mission. She’d let out a screech of denial, which of course drew the eye of every person in the room and caused most of the men to get to their feet, preparing to defend the little lady’s honor. She’d glared everyone away, but the damage was done. Their clandestine meeting moved up to the floor show. Their saving grace was that they’d gotten ole Tom the Barkeep to agree to let them put up silencing charms should they need to. The patrons had been able to watch but no longer hear the heated arguments. Flint said something in such a menacing way that despite not being able to hear it, made most of the patrons shuffle for the door. After Flint stormed out, Zabini gave a saucy wink as he rose to his feet and said something as he smiled lecherously.

After he’d gracefully exited, the remaining patrons were startled when the dark goddess of leather straddled the one-eyed man, wrapped herself around his body and proceeded to whisper in his ear as he gripped a hip in one hand and fiddled with her hair with the other. Draco Malfoy’s mug hung forgotten in the air as he watched the two in front of him with his mouth hanging open. The one-eyed man had finally looked at Malfoy and nodded about something and Malfoy, snapping his mouth shut, set down his butterbeer and headed for the door.

Faith was whispering in his ear and kneading his back, anything to get Xander to calm down. She knew he didn’t understand why those guys would want him. She knew her boy had issues. She knew he didn’t see what most everybody else saw.

“Why’d they pick me?” Xander asked, even after he’d sent Malfoy off to tell his buddies that he agreed. “Why not just wait until we get to the Council and have their pick of the people there?”

“Xan…” Faith sighed. He was really going to make her explain. “You have to understand something. You got a gift. Powerful people want to be around you. Women adore you, men want to be your friend or sex buddies, depending on their preferences. Guys like Flint and Zabini look at you and…who knows what they see. When I look at you, I see a genuinely good guy who happens to be hot as hell. You make me feel safe and protective at the same time. So you ask them why you but don’t worry, I’m right here with you. They try anything bad and I’ll rip their dicks off and force-feed it to them.”

“Ahh,” Xander sighed, “and the overprotective Slayer comes to the fore.”

Faith pulled back and smirked down at him. “They’re getting the prize of the Council. If they don’t think they’re gonna get threatened by every person they meet, they’re dead wrong.”

“Wood won’t threaten them,” Xander said, watching her reaction. “Wood hates me.”

“And Wood cheated on me,” Faith said with a bitter twist of the lips. “I think that establishes that the boy? He ain’t as smart as he thinks he is.”

Xander pulled her closer for a bit of a cuddle. People at Headquarters had known that she and Wood had had a bad break. Most didn’t know what had caused it, though, and those that did weren’t telling. He murmured into the curve of her neck, “And that would be what has Wills looking for spells that affect the sex drive.”

Faith snorted and said, “Yeah, since Kennedy ran off with that one chick, she’s been real down on cheaters.” A motion in the door caught her eye. Malfoy was leading Flint and Zabini back to their table. “We got company,” she said as she moved to get off of his lap.

Xander clamped a hand down on her hip and held her where she was as he turned his head to watch. Those three could do menace, that was for sure. Nobody in the mostly cleared out pub stepped into their path or even looked too long in their direction. Trouble rolled off them in waves. If Xander didn’t fight things three times bigger and ten times more likely to cause pain, he’d probably be afraid. Probably.

Faith rested her head on top of Xan’s. She knew what kind of picture they made. Both with their curling dark brown hair and brown eyes and pale skin that came from spending more time in cemeteries at night than in the sun all day. If people didn’t know better, they’d think that, on looks alone, they were siblings. Either way, these guys liked the picture, even Malfoy. He stumbled a bit as Flint’s nostrils flared and Zabini’s eyes went all languid and heated.

Malfoy jerked his head toward the stairs, motioning that this was being moved to a more private setting. Faith raised an eyebrow but climbed off of Xan and grabbed her coat. Xan stood and put his hand on the small of her back, guiding her like the gentleman Giles had tried so hard to make him. These guys like that, too.

The room had two twin beds in it. Xan steered Faith to one then sat beside her. Zabini and Flint took the one opposite them and Malfoy seemed to be trying to hold up the wall near the door.

“Look,” Xan started, smoothing his sweaty palms down his thighs. That drew everyone’s attention to his crotch, which caused him to blush and flutter his hands like some prim maiden. “Look, I don’t want to offend anyone or upset anyone. I just want to know: Why me? You could wait until we got to the Council before picking somebody else. So, why me?”

Flint leered as Zabini stood, stretched, then straddled Xander like Faith had down in the bar. Xander squeaked a little even as his hands went automatically to Zabini’s waist. Zabini nuzzled Xander’s neck before whispering, “You two are a matched set. Yin and Yang. You’re the light to her dark but you’ve each been touched by the other. You balance out and this appeals to us greatly.”

Xander glanced at Faith to see her eyes dilated and breathing harshly. He looked at Flint to find him clutching the side of the bed in a white-knuckle grip watching with hooded eyes. “He speak for you?” Xander asked a little huskily. He couldn’t help it. He had a man that oozed sex appeal cuddled up in his lap like a cat.

Flint smirked. “When he’s not wrong.” Flint stood and carefully scooped Faith off the bed before turning to sit with her in his lap. “There are other things that draw us. You’re both powerful. Even if you haven’t found what yours is, even if you never find it, you have power. You’re both just beautiful, too.”

“Oh,” was all Xander could think to say. Zabini was nuzzling his pulse point and Flint staring at him with a look that could melt paint off of walls. He thought about arguing with the beautiful thing but decided to go with the thought that beauty was in the eye of the beholder and to just let it go.

“So it’s decided then,” Malfoy asked thickly, causing Xander to jerk and Zabini to groan form the brush of crotch against crotch.

Flint glanced at Malfoy and said, “We’ll need two more eventually but for now, things are settled.”

“Why’ll you need two more?” Faith asked, a little indignantly.

“Not safe,” Zabini said before clearing his throat. “Not safe to just have you two. The amount of sex we require is wearing on a body. You might be able to take it but his body…probably not. For a couple of months will be fine but eventually, there’ll need to be more.”

“If we ever choose to have an heir, the compulsion will wane to what’s considered fairly normal but Zabini and I are really careful about that. Kids are for when a dark wizard isn’t trying to takeover,” Flint said, smoothing a hand down Faith’s suddenly tense back.

“I agree to have however much sex you can stand. Kids are a whole different topic,” Faith said with just a hint of panic.

“Like he said,” Zabini said, finally pulling back from Xander’s neck. “That’s for after the war. Now, we just need to stave off the compulsion.”

Faith melted a little, nodding, “Fine.”

Xander nodded. “We’re agreed. Faith and I’ll be what you need us to be and you’ll bind yourselves to the Council for the duration of the War.”

Zabini and Flint nodded and signed the papers.
… … …
“And that’s how it happened,” Xander finished.

Giles looked ready to rip somebody’s head off. “Gentlemen, I’d like to speak to Xander and Faith alone, please.” After they’d gone to wait in the hall, Giles hissed, “Have you two lost your minds? Those two are entirely unsuitable. That one bloke looks like he could break someone in half. Honestly, they are not who I would have chosen for either of you. And what will the people of the Wizarding World think? I’ll not have children of mine looked down upon by those…twits.”

Faith was watching in no little amusement as Giles worked himself into a fine state, muttering and pacing while cleaning his glasses. She glanced at Xander to see him watching with his mouth hanging open just a little. She couldn’t help herself, she leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Do you think he’s going to demand marriage before we all start bumpin’ uglies?”

Xander started to sputter which caught Giles’s attention. “Marriage! Nobody said anything about marriage.”

“Well, maybe they should have done,” Giles declared. “The Wizarding World’s a very tradition bound society, very old fashion. You will be treated as lesser for being openly involved in a sexual relationship where there are no official ties.”

“Giles, I honestly don’t care what anybody thinks of me and I’d like to see somebody try treat Faith as lesser. She’d break their faces with my blessing,” Xander said.

“I’d break their face for treating either of us as lesser. We’re the reason they’ve still got an Earth to begin with. They’re in our debt whether they realize or not. I’ll bang their faces into mush while I remind them of that little fact,” Faith said, grinning maliciously.

Faith watched as Giles dissolved into another round of muttering, this time about marriage and binding ceremonies.
… … …
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