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Summary: What if Xander was raised by his real dad? Egon Spengler

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > GhostbustersCrazyDanFR182048,36744321166,15914 Jan 0915 Apr 13No

Chapter 19

I don't own Buffy Summers, Xander Harris or any of the Ghostbusters. If I did, I would be older than I am now and possibly much richer.
BTVS was created by Joss Whedon and Ghostbusters were created by Dan Akroyd and Harold Ramis.

This is a work of fanfiction and not intended to be published for profit.

Chapter 19:

The Firehouse....
The Next Morning....

“I swear I fuckin' know you.” Faith said as she stared at Alex from across the kitchen table.

Alex didn't say anything. He was focused on eating his oatmeal while doing the crossword.

“It's possible you do. Subconsciously at least.” Winston told the latest Slayer. “You're possessed by the Slayer Essence. That spirit knows Alex.”

“Would past life regression work on that?” Buffy asked Winston.

“Maybe. She might remember her own past lives, or the lives of Slayers before her.” Winston said as he sipped his coffee. “It's worth investigating.”

“I'll say.” Winston said with a grin. “Maybe it'll snap Peter out of his.... catatonia.”

“I'm a father...” Peter muttered as he barley managed to put the spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth.

“Eh, he'll get over it.” Peter's dad said. “I was the same way when I found out about him.”

“So.... now what? Besides getting the new girl some clothes, what else do we do? Does she come back to Sunnydale with us or what?” Cordelia asked.

“What's in Sunnydale and why the fuck would I want to go there?” Faith asked.

“It's the location of the active Hellmouth.” Egon said as he finished his crossword. “Done.” He said to his son.

“I finished mine three minutes ago.” Alex grinned.

“So... what were you doing?” Buffy asked him.

“Translating it into Esperanto.” Alex told her.

“You guys are weird.” Faith said before she finished her coffee.

“Museum of Art?” Joyce asked, wanting to do something in the city.

“Which one?” Ray countered. “We've got plenty.”

“Go alphabetically or by type.” Alex offered. “I on the other hand have a brand new Slayer to test out.”

Faith shuddered. “I just got a bad feeling when you said that.”

“So you do remember a little.” Buffy grinned. “But would you like to know more?”

“What do I have to do?” Faith asked.

“That is where I come in.” Winston said.

“I'm a father....” Peter said quietly.

“Slimer.... snap him out of it would you?” Janine asked the resident ghost. “Just don't mess up the furniture this time. We're low on ectoplasm cleaner.”

“What's green and giggly going to do?” Faith asked Janine.

“Watch.” Janine smirked as Slimer puckered up and gave Peter a kiss.

“Oh.... nasty.” Faith said. “I've seen two slime demons mating and that was nothing compared to... that.”

“Well it seems you've inherited your father's aversion to being slimed.” Egon said as Peter sputtered at Slimer's actions.

“That's fuckin' gross.” Faith said as she stared at her father.

“We're going to have to work on your language skills.” Egon sighed.

“Huh?” Faith said.

“He means you're a potty mouth.” Ray told the teen.

“Oh. Well too fuckin' bad.” Faith grinned before feeling something tap her shoulder. She turned her head and sputtered as a bar of soap was shoved in her mouth.

“I'm going to keep that ready for every time you swear.” Alex told her. “Bad Faith. Bad.”

“Mmk moo!” Faith said around the bar of soap.

“You really don't want to make him mad.” Buffy told Faith.

“Why?” Faith asked after forcibly removing the soap from her mouth.

Alex let a spark form between his thumb and index finger.

“Oh.” Faith said. “Sh....crud.”

“She can be taught.” Cordelia smirked. “Good.”

“Ah go find a sunny spot to nap in.” Faith told the other teen before pausing. “Why did I say that?”

“Well... she is being kind of catty.” Joyce grinned. “That and she's a reincarnated follower of Bast.”

“Who?” Faith asked.

“We'll have to work on your knowledge base.” Alex sighed. “Oh well. Maybe the past life regression will help on that front.”

“You're not going to let her do that are you?” Peter asked, pure terror showing on his face.

“It's not that bad.” Winston sighed.

“Not that bad?” Peter asked, his voice rising. “Not that bad? I was a fishmonger! A fishmonger! Not just once, but in seven different lifetimes! Seven! I know more about gutting fish than I do about sleeping with women, and I've slept with a lot of women!”

“We know.” Egon, Winston, Ray and Alex said together.

“Ugh. We just ate.” Buffy said. “Let's not talk about that.”

“I don't want to hear about how many other people besides my mom you banged.” Faith said as she glared at Peter.

“Fair enough. Dad and I have some product shoots to do this week. We'll be at the rented studio today.” Peter said. “Only eight products this year?” He asked Alex.

“Eight from our companies. I've sold a fair bit to other companies and the government.” Alex said. “Plus, I've been busy.”

“Fine. Saves us some work anyways. Have the studio audiences been booked?” Peter asked.

“Yes. You have two shoots a day for four days.” Alex said as a folder floated over to Peter from another room.

“It's still creepy when you do that.” Peter's Dad said.

Alex shrugged before sipping his coffee. “You'll be paid accordingly.”

“Good.” Peter said. “I guess this check can go towards a college fund.”

“Don't do me any favors.” Faith told her father. “I don't need your money.”

“You'll get it anyways. I set up a trust years ago for this kind of circumstance.” Egon said. “After we got set up financially... I thought it prudent that we ensure any other of our... progeny would be taken care of.”

“Ah, I wondered about that.” Alex said with a grin. “Well played old man. Deep space telemetry, good cover. Like we have the time to look for life on other planets.”

Egon smirked. “It's an avenue worth exploring....later. Much later.”

“You guys are weird when you're together.” Buffy said with a grin.

“You haven't seen anything yet.” Janine smirked.

Two hours later....

“Oh.” Faith said as she remembered hours worth of training sessions with Alex. “You're a hard-ass, you know that?”

“Oh, I know.” Alex grinned. “How far back do you remember in Buffy's time as a Slayer?” Alex asked as he started processing and backing up the data he'd collected.

“A few days before she caught the knife thrown by her first Watcher. His name was... Merrick. Shit.” Faith said as her eyes widened. “He killed himself instead of being turned. Ballsy.”

“He did and it was.” Buffy said with a nod. “What's the last thing you remember from my time as the host?”

“Alex screaming at you to get down and then a bright flash of light.” Faith said. “What happened?”

“Lightning. I still get slight headaches when it rains.” Buffy told her. “So... how was my time compared to yours?”

“About the same.” Faith said. “Though Your life got better after those knuckleheads showed up.”

“It did.” Buffy agreed. “Yours will too. The Council will probably be sending another Watcher to locate you once they realize yours is dead. It might take a while though. They took their sweet time in sending me mine.” Buffy told her.

“Too damn long.” Faith said. “Maybe they wanted you locked up. Controllable.”

“They are bastards.” Buffy agreed. “Well, the head guys are. My Watchers haven't been too bad once I got to know them.”

“Kendra's wasn't the best.” Faith told her. “He was pretty damn strict, training her to go without food and shit.”

“Well...” Alex said as he finished packing up the equipment. “Let's see how you two do with a little urban running. I'll be boosting myself with my talents. I want you two to keep up.”

“What is he talking about?” Faith asked Buffy.

“I don't know. But it sounds fun.” Buffy grinned.

“Oh it is.” Alex grinned. “To the rooftops!”

Two hours later....

“I hate you.” Buffy and Faith said in unison as the sat down on a blazing hot roof.

“Oh come on, I'm only down to about half of my reserve.” Alex said. “Surely you Slayers can keep up with a telekinetically boosted boy?”

“Fuck you Al.” Faith muttered. “It's too early for this shit.”

“Well, I did cheat a bit.” Alex grinned. “The air around me is about thirty degrees cooler than what it is in reality.”

“You ass!” Buffy said. “When did you learn to do that?”

“This morning.” Alex said as the air around the two Slayers cooled considerably. “Better?”

“Much.” Buffy said. “Ass.”

“I think you're a bad influence on her.” Alex told Faith.

“Nah. You're just an ass.” Faith grinned.

“Point taken.” Alex agreed. “You two ready to head back yet or do you want to stop for some Italian Ice first?”

“Let's stop.” Buffy said. “I could use a snack.”

“What she said.” Faith agreed.


“So what's it like having close to a year's worth of Buffy's memories?” Giles asked Faith as the entire group sat down to eat dinner at the house Ray had inherited from his Aunt Lois.

“Well.... I know how to shop.” Faith shrugged. “That and Al and Ray are all right.”

“I see.” Giles said. “And myself?”

“Well... You're a Watcher right?” Faith asked him. “Buffy didn't have the best opinion of you, but that was before she died. I guess its changed.”

“I've also changed employers.” Giles said. “After the spirit left Buffy, the Council saw fit to reduce my pay. The bastards.”

“Bitter much?” Faith asked.

“It was a significant pay cut.” Alex elaborated “Especially since he was still training a Slayer on a Hellmouth. How did the shoots go?” Alex asked as he turned his attention to Peter.

“Good enough. The products are neat enough for me and Pop to not fake enthusiasm. That water based air filter was pretty good.”

“Better than a HEPA.” Alex agreed. “So... have you looked at the sales estimates?”

“They'll be good for the larger cities where asthma's more common. That may change if your cars dominate the market. Less smog means easier breathing all around.” Peter said. “Some of your products will make others unnecessary in the long run.”

“But in the short run they'll make us money.” Peter's father said. “Never fail to appreciate the short game.”

“The short game is what caused you to spend so much time away.” Peter reminded his father. “Always looking for that next job, the next product that would make you rich.”

“Well, we found it didn't we?” Peter's father countered.

“Actually I hired you to keep you and Peter out of trouble in our down time.” Alex said. “That and you're a heck of a pitchman.”

“Thanks kid.” Pete's Dad said.

“What the fuck is your name anyways?” Faith asked her grandfather.

“Charlie.” Charles Venkman grinned. “So nice of you to ask.”

“So that's what it is.” Alex said. “Huh.”

“Kid you've known me for close to a decade and you didn't know my first name?” Charlie Venkman asked incredulously.

“It's not really come up.” Alex shrugged.

“Unbelievable.” Charlie sighed. “No respect.”

“At the time, you hadn't earned it.” Alex told him. “After that... well it slipped my mind.”

“Cheeky bastard.” Charlie muttered.

With the original gang, some time later....

“Well Peter, it seems like I'm not the only one who's reproduced.” Egon said with a bit of smirk.

“I know.” Peter said with a grin. “She's like a female version of me if I'd been raised in Boston instead of Brooklyn.”

The others got a horrified look on their faces.

“I really hate to be the one to ask this, but.....” Winston started. “What if she inherited your sex drive?”

“And she's a Slayer.” Ray said. “That combined with the Venkman libido....”

“Shattered pelvises, testicular torsion....and heaven forbid..... Penile fractures.” Egon said as the men all stared off in horror.

“Did I miss something?” Charlie Venkman asked as he walked into the kitchen. “You guys trading old war stories again or something?”

“No Dad, we were talking about something else.” Peter told his father.

“Oh.” Charlie said. “ there any fresh coffee in the pot?”

“Help yourself.” Peter said as he gestured at the coffeemaker. “Brewed it an hour ago.”

“Still on Japanese time.” Charlie muttered. “I'm getting too old for this travel stuff.”

“You love it.” Peter grinned. “It gives you a chance to get out of Yui's clutches anyways.”

“Who's Yui?” Winston asked.

“His girlfriend.” Peter grinned. “She's my age.”

“Oh.” Winston said. “You Venkman's are horrible people you know that?”

“Does that mean they don't know you're dating her daughter?” Charles asked Peter.

That caused the others to start laughing uproariously as Peter began banging his head on the kitchen table.

With the teens....

“I just realized something.” Cordelia said as she looked up from doing Buffy's nails.

“What's that?” Buffy asked.

“The wedding's in a week and Faith needs an outfit.” Cordelia grinned.

“Oh crap.” Faith muttered.

Alex just ignored the conversation and continued his reading. Winston's research was actually a pretty lively read for an academic paper.

He just hoped the girls wouldn't rope him into a shopping trip.

Those hopes would be dashed in less than five minutes.


“Damn it. We've lost another one!” Quentin Travers yelled as he read the report on the death of Diana Dormer. “That's fifteen field Watchers and three Slayers in less than three years!”

“Sir, we don't know if the current Slayer is dead.” Travers' assistant said. “She's just not capable of being tracked mystically at the moment. There are very few places that could happen. The Sunnydale Hellmouth being one of them.”

“You think she ran to the Hellmouth?” Travers asked. “Her files do indicate her being foolish and headstrong. There are no phone records of Dormer contacting Giles or any of his friends within the Council though. The odds are slim. Send a tracking team. Find her.”

“Yes sir.” His assistant said before quietly leaving Travers' office.

Quentin Travers sighed. “Now I have to find another Watcher for the Slayer, or a new Slayer. They don't make them like they used to. We used to have time to prepare to find one when they didn't survive their Cruciamentum, but no. These Slayers all die ridiculously early. Today's generation doesn't have the work ethic like the last one did. Now I have to go through those ridiculous files again.”

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