Part 1- Torchwood Fix-it
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, if it’s familiar then I certainly don’t own them.
Spoilers: Torchwood Season 2, Supernatural Season 4, Eureka Season 3, Doctor Who Season 4, NCIS Season 6, Primeval Season 2, CSI-New York Season 5, CSI-Miami Season 3, Heroes Season 3, Psych Season 3, Buffy the Vampire Slayer series finale
Warnings: slash, het, femslash, character bashing, crack
Pairings: Way too many to list plus I want some to be a surprise but a wide range of male/male, female/female, male/female and threesomes.
Summary: Willow, Dawn, Andrew and Faith decide its time to go fix some of their favorite fandoms.
Part 1- Torchwood Fixit
The Torchwood team stared in horror as Doctor Copley held the gun on them.
"No way! You are not shooting the snarky British doctor! Bad bad things can happen if you do and not the fun bad things either! No, you are not standing in the way of adorable Toshiko and Owen flirting," demanded a young American teenage girl's voice, along with several more females and one male emerged from the shadows.
"You tell him, Dawn!" said the male who appeared not to be able to take his off the good Captain Harkness.
"This is none of your business but now you'll die too," said Doctor Copley.
"Whatever, jackass," responded a deadly looking brunette in black leather.
Before anyone could speak the evil doctor was on the ground unconscious with a broken arm. The gun was nowhere to be seen. The deadly woman smirked over the doctor's body.
"Excuse me, thanks for the assistance and all, but who the bloody hell are you people?" snapped Gwen Cooper.
"Oh, think of us as your fairy-shippers. We are here to right the wrongs of romantic life in the different fandoms that we all love. We have some advice to give so please listen closely and remain quiet," spoke a red headed woman.
The team tried to speak anyway but found they could neither move nor speak. Ianto Jones was looking at the strangers trying to figure out how he knew them. Jack Harkness was checking for both danger and attractiveness. Toshiko Sato was keeping a close eye on Owen worried about the implications of what the stranger had said already. And Owen Harper was trying to figure out how he could get the dark leather female into his bed or shower or even the car. Martha Jones was worried they'd run into either more Time Lords or Carronites. Gwen Cooper didn't take to kindly to being told what to do by strangers.
"Sorry, it's a little spell but don't worry it will wear off the second we leave. This is a little hard to believe but we aren't from this dimension. Where we come from you all are on a spin-off of Doctor Who, a show called Torchwood. The four of us love watching you guys so much but we didn't like how your characters got treated in the second season. And we all sobbed with how the season ended. We are here to fix it. The first step was keeping the idiot from killing Owen which would have sparked your Captain into doing a stupid move. Now, Owen listen closely, you really should forgive yourself for the death of your fiancée. Nothing can bring her back, being a jackass to Toshiko won’t stop her from loving you. Give the sweet girl at least a chance; don’t wait on your death to realize that you two could have had something. Toshiko, trust yourself more, just listen to your instinct,” the red haired woman took a breath.
“Also Gwen, don’t work for Torchwood the night of your hen party. And it is so not your teams fault if an alien tries to crash your wedding!” adds the lone male figure finally having taken his eyes off of Jack.
“Ianto ‘Sexy’ Jones, pretty much keep doing what you are doing. We have a gift for you though. The fans really love your character a lot and love your snarky humor. So here a couple coffee mugs with their favorite sayings on them. From your rant about the phones being down to the comment about Jack’s manners in bed. Also one that says you’d rather be Weevil hunting,” walking over the dangerous brunette set a gift bag at Ianto’s feet. But before walking away the woman squeezed his ass. “Just as firm as I figured it would be, lucky Captain.”
“Faith, stop molesting the poor teaboy! Now, Captain Jack, let your team be there for you, especially Ianto. We do have a few gifts for you too,” chanting softly the youngest female waved her hand towards Ianto who glowed green for a moment and then so did Jack. “Now, don’t be afraid to get serious with your boy, he’s life line is now tied to yours. When you reach your permanent death, so will he. Also I’ve stopped the aging issue you had, trust me, you don’t want to know. The next part was Andrew’s idea so I’ll let him speak.”
“T-t-thanks Dawn. You are so my hero Captain Jack! I wish you’d been on the tv when I was little, to see such a strong character that doesn’t care about sexual orientation in science fiction show, the hero not side character. Anyway, there is so much that could be done to help you but you need to feel like you’ve earned your redemption so I won’t interfere to much more. First off, your brother is safe at our Council headquarters, he’s been severely traumatized but we have the best shrinks in any dimension. You’ll be getting a letter from him as soon as he’s able. And once he’s healed enough he’ll come visit you. Trust me; this is for the best because he’s just not in a place where you can fix him right now. He needs an outside perspective. Now the second part,” pausing for a moment Andrew nodded to Faith who tossed a hog tied and gagged John Hart on to the ground before Jack. “He really does care for you but just doesn’t know how to show it. Let him join the team; give him a chance to work for his own redemption. Also, you should bring him into the relationship with Ianto and yourself. This will give Ianto someone to keep him company the next time you have to run off with the Doctor to save the universe. He’s not immortal but it can be done at a later date.”
“Is that all we really wanted to do?” asked the red head.
“Yup, Willow, we covered the list,” said Dawn.
“WILOW? DAWN? FAITH? ANDREW?” yelped Ianto, he could now speak but not move. He had known there was something about them all that seemed familiar. “Where is Buffy then?”
“Oh, I forget how powerful you already are thanks to your genetic family. Buffy is one her honeymoon with Angel. But yes, I know we are just a tv show in the dimension, that’s what allowed us to travel here in the first place. It would have taken way more energy if there wasn’t even an echo of who we are here. Now don’t worry, if you have any major concerns I made it so your computers can email mine. Take care you all. We are all looking forward to season three.”
A bright light appeared and when it faded the strangers were gone. The Torchwood team was able to move and speak again but just stared in shock at each other.