Title: Zeppo in D.C. – The Cousin
Summary: When Sunnydale goes down, Xander and Oz decide to head to D.C. to visit Xander’s cousin, and while there they just so happen to gather some books for Giles from his old school friend.
A/N: Just so everyone knows I didn’t like the episode were Xander loses his eye and so in this story that never happened, and also during the battle with the first Oz shows up and Xander and Oz get together.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the craziness that spews out of my head. All characters belong to their respective owners. If you recognize it, I don’t own it! If I did, I probably wouldn’t be writing fan fiction.
Thank you to my wonderful beta, QueenSereya, for taking the babbling from my head and turning it into something amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When the elevator dinged, Gibbs knew something was about to change in the dynamics of his team.
A tall broad shouldered, dark haired man and a small, red haired man with the tips dyed purple made their way out. The dark haired man scanned the room then made his way over to the bull pen with the red head in tow, and stopped in front of Tony's desk.
"Oh, Anthony." the dark haired man called as soon as he stopped. "Aren’t you going to say hi to your favorite cousin?"
"Xander, what are you doing here?" Tony asked as he rushed around the desk to give the two a hug.
"We thought we would come see you since our home got sucked into a giant crater." The man, now identified as Xander replied.
"You were in Sunnydale when it collapsed?" McGee questioned.
"Yeah, I was on the last bus out before it went down." Xander said, "Who are you by the way?"
“Oh, yeah sorry, I forgot you didn’t know everyone.” Tony said, “The Geek is Tim McGee, The scary female is Ziva David, and the man who is glaring at me is my boss, Leroy Jethro Gibbs.” He finished hurriedly, “Guys this is my cousin Alexander Lavelle Harris, and his boyfriend, lead guitarist for ‘Dingoes Ate My Baby’, Oz.”
“Oh my GODDESS!!!!” came the high pitched squeal from behind the boss man, “Your part of ‘Dingoes Ate My Baby’s? I love you guys!!!!!” Abby yelled as she bounced out from behind Gibbs in all her Gothic glory.
“And our resident lab rat Abby.” Tony added as an afterthought.
“Yeah, his name is Daniel “Oz” Osborne, but just call him Oz or he probably won’t realize you’re talking to him and ignore you.” Xander told the gathered group.
“Hey.” Oz said in his usual bored tone.
“Yeah okay, so what are you guys doing in D.C.?” Tony asked after an awkward silence.
“Just came to see if we could crash in your spare room for a couple of days since we’re going to be in town.” Xander said casually.
“No problem, but can I ask why you’re going to be in town?” Tony inquired.
“You remember that problem I needed your expertise in a few years back?” at Tony’s nod Xander kept talking, “Well at the end of that fiasco the Scoobies were given military honors and a talk with whoever’s in office whenever we need it.”
“Wait, these Scoobies can get a meeting with the President of the United States whenever they want?” Ziva asked puzzled at this new development.
“Yeah, in fact I think Willow still has the old Presidents number on speed dial.” Xander said with a shrug.
“How does your friend have the former President of the United States of America on speed dial?” was Gibbs inquiry.
“Me and some of My Girls knocked out an illegal military instulation a few years back.” Xander answered and you could practically see the venom falling from his lips at the words, “The President thanked us personally and we all have records so blacked out you could maybe find my name, birthday, and a few school records if you’re really good, not to mention diplomatic immunity in over 800 countries around the globe.”
“Xan calm down, it’s over,” Oz said and the people around him could sense some emotion in the usually stoic man’s voice.
Xander took a deep breath and calmed his ragged breathing, “I know, but I still can’t believe they actually did that,” he said in a deceptively calm voice “I almost lost you, and what they did to those guys was just cruel. They almost killed Spike and if anyone get’s to kill The Bleached Menace it’s me.” He said as he clutched Oz in a fierce hug, as if someone was going to come up and try to take him away.
“I know Xan, but I’m still here and I’m not going anywhere.” Oz soothed as Xander finally released his death grip on the smaller man.
“Wait, who is this Spike and how come you think you can kill him?” Ziva asked finally breaking the silence of the rest of the room.
“Spike was my uninvited roommate for a while after the army morons stuck a behavior modification chip in his brain,” Xander said easily, “He is a pain in the ass that thinks he’s the big bad just because his family was really infamous in Europe 100 years ago, and he is a direct descendant of the head of a really old and powerful family.”
“Well back to the original question, how long are you in town for?” Tony asked as he came out of his stunned silence. He had never realized it was that bad and swore to himself he would protect his baby cousin if it was the last thing he did.
“Just a couple of days. Oh by the way, do any of you know a Doctor Mallard?” Xander answered the question with one of his own.
“Ducky, what do you need him for?” Gibbs asked in a suspicious tone.
“Hey, hey, hey, nothing bad it’s just that he is holding some books for my boss and I need to retrieve them while we’re in town.” Xander defended.
“Wait, Ducky asked me to tell you to call him when someone asked about some books.” Abby said from her perch on McGee’s desk. “That’s why I came up here in the first place.”
“I was going to tell you he was here earlier but you distracted me.” Oz told Xander in a condescending voice.
“Ducky works with Tony, huh never would have guessed. Can someone show me where he is? I really need those books.” Xander intoned in an innocent voice.
“You wound me with your words,” Tony said in a mock scandalized tone, as everyone else rolled their eyes but couldn’t stop a giggle or two from escaping at the banter between the two cousins, “Anyway, right this way to the Duck-Man, Xan-Man.”
“Thanks Tony.” Xander said.
“No problem Xan, what else are families for?” Tony said as he pressed the elevator button.
“According to my dad, nothing important.” Xander said as his eyes went far away then quickly refocused as the elevator sounded.
As the doors started to close Gibbs ducked in followed by everyone else.
“I have to go see Ducky anyway so I thought I might as well go down there now.” Gibbs said at Xander’s questioning look.
Xander just shrugged, “Whatever.” and grabbed Oz around the waist as he came over and stood near him.
The ride to autopsy was a silent affair after that.
“Jethro, to what do I owe the pleasure,” Ducky asked as he saw everyone getting off in his domain, “and who are these fine young gentlemen?”
“Dr. Mallard, it is a pleasure to finally meet you. My name is Alexander Harris and we spoke over the phone.” Xander said as he shook Ducky’s hand and Xander the goofball was replaced with Alexander the young watcher in training.
Everyone who had just met him was astounded at the changes that came over the young man. His posture straightened and gone were the jokes and wisecracks, here was a young man who knew that he was dangerous and used that to his advantage.
“Ahhh yes young Alexander, I was wondering when you would arrive. How’s Rupert by the way?” Ducky said as he released the young man’s hand.
“Giles is fine and asked me to inquire after your own health.” Xander said.
“Good, good,” Ducky said nodding his head. “The books are right over there if you wish to check on them while I speak to Jethro about his case.”
“Of course Dr. Mallard.” Xander said as he and Oz went over to look at the books and Abby followed wanting to see what all the fuss was about.
“Ducky dear boy. Just call me Ducky, everyone else does.” Ducky said as he walked over to Gibbs.
“Giles told me you would say that but when I’m first meeting someone as important in the council as you I tend to put on a professional air so I don’t mess anything up.” Xander said as the goofball made another reappearance.
“My boy, I’m not that high up in the food chain.” Ducky said with a wave of his hand.