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Dimension Jumping for Idiots

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Summary: Ten worlds the Scoobies never visited. But sort of wished they had. Kinda.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralZariFR1323,293043,38230 Jan 094 Jan 10Yes

Down the Rabbit Hole

Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of the other series mentioned.

Warnings: OOC, Cracktastic

Another chapter was requested, and I live to please. Or something like that.

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(Inuyasha)

“Dammit!” Buffy kicked at the ground. “I thought for sure that Yuuri kid could get us back.”

“Instead, we get sucked into…” Xander gestured to encompass the area around them. Tall trees and oriental style buildings in the distance.

“What appears to be medieval Japan,” Giles commented, peering around with actual interest. “I’m just not sure of the specific when. Or even where exactly.”

“The lands of the west,” a cold voice cut in. “My lands,” he clarified. “And this Sesshoumaru demands an explanation.”

They were suddenly reminded of the white-haired demonish person still standing there. Most of them had honestly forgotten about him as silent as he was. Really, it was like having another Oz, only not as friendly. The little girl, toad-thingy, and two-headed dragon were a bit different, too.

“Oh, sorry!” Dawn waved a hand at him. “Forgot about you for a minute there.”

Faith tilted her head. “I didn’t forget about ya, handsome.” She gave him a saucy wink and sidled a bit closer. Her fingers just barely caressed the furry covering on his shoulder before he hurriedly drew away.

“This Sesshoumaru does not approve of that… that…” Words seemed to have failed him. “Of that! You will not touch me again.”

Faith lifted a brow and put one hand on her hip. “Oh, I want to do more than touch you.”

The little girl standing just behind him giggled. Her eyes darted from Willow, who beamed at her, to Dawn, who gave a little wave. Then, they went to Andrew, turning a circle in complete amazement. Before landing on Buffy and studying her long blonde hair.

“They look nice, Sesshoumaru-sama,” she informed him then with a smile and scuff of her bare feet. “Rin likes them very much. Can we keep them?”

A pair of golden eyes narrowed. And went from Oz to Giles to Dawn and Andrew then Xander. Next Willow and finally landed on Buffy. He purposely didn’t glance at Faith. His shoulders stiffened, single hand reaching for his sword.

Dawn bit her lip. “I’m thinking that’s a no.”

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(The Chronicles of Narnia)

“The lion talks,” Oz commented, the only one in their group not completely stupefied.

Even Giles had his mouth hanging open as his glasses dangled in one hand. This was certainly a first for him. The talking cat at that… shop had been something else entirely. Had been a human capable of changing forms. But he could tell that this was the real deal. A sapient animal.

“Yes,” the lion responded evenly. “I do. I am called Aslan.” His wise eyes studied them intently, as if not the least bit perturbed that this eclectic group had been dumped in his proverbial lap. “I welcome you all.”

“Thanks?” Dawn managed after a minute or two. “We’re… eh… glad to be here?”

It was more a question than statement. But that didn’t bother Aslan at all. He merely settled back on his haunches and inspected the humans before him.

“I sense great powers among you,” he said then in that same deep and even voice. “Some dark. Others bright and shining. But all of them used for good. Have you come by chance to fight the white witch?”

“Er… No. No, we didn’t,” Xander replied. “We’re not so much into the killing witches thing. Demons now? Well, that we can do.” He nodded and crossed his arms over his chest.

Aslan’s tail flicked as he looked from one of them to the next. “Are you certain?” He inclined his head to Willow. “She is a red witch.”

“Oh, not that crap again,” Buffy interrupted with clear exasperation in her tone. “It’s the same as we told Zelma--”

“I think her name was Zelda,” Andrew corrected. But he backed off at her glare.

“Whatever.” Buffy made a dismissive motion. “But it’s like we told her, we’re just trying to get home here.”

“Yeah,” Faith cut in. “We’ve got our own problems to deal with. No room to pick up the slack for other guys.” She jerked her thumb at the lion. “Though we’d appreciated it you could point us in the right direction.”

Aslan gazed at them again for a long moment. Then, he sighed.

“As you wish.”

He took in a deep breath and seemed to momentarily sink in on himself then. However, he opened his mouth and let out a great roar. Loud and resounding. Filling the air with its powerful sound. Resonating in everything around them. Rocks. Flowers. Trees.

And Scoobies felt the world crumble out beneath them.

-----

(Iron Man)

“So giant alien robots. A world full of dead people. A princess, her knight, and a talking shadow.” The man in the iron suit ticked off his gold-red fingers. “A creepy stalker guy and a dude dressed like a bat. A king who fell through a toilet. And a talking lion. Does that cover everyone?”

Buffy pressed her lips together as she considered the list. Beside her, Giles just continued to clean his glasses without comment. He didn’t even chastised Andrew for practically wetting himself with enthusiasm as he gazed at the wondrous technology all around them. A testament to Giles’ severe and unending annoyance. He was really getting too old for all this.

“Oh! Don’t forget the demon that looked like a dog,” Xander added but then frowned. “Or was it a dog that looked like a demon? I’m very confused about that part.”

“Me, too.” Dawn raised her hand. “He was hot though.”

“Smokin’,” Faith agreed, wiggling her hips in a little seductive dance. “I wish we coulda stayed a bit longer.”

“Well, that slutty looking priestess had to get us out of there before he and his brother began fighting again,” Dawn reminded her. “I didn’t want to stick around for that. Especially if they started cutting off limbs again.”

“Slutty?” Willow questioned with a little surprise. “You shouldn’t call people names.”

Oz nodded in agreement from her other side before turning to inspect the workshop around them. It really was impressive.

“Yeah,” Buffy inserted. “Besides, her skirt wasn’t that short.”

The man in the steel suit, who’d perked up at the mention of short skirts, turned his head from one of them to the next. “Slutty priestesses and dimension travelling. A very interesting life you all lead.” He actually seemed rather impressed.

“This coming from the man dressed all in metal who fights evil,” Xander reminded him with a grin.

“And I look good doing it, too,” their host replied and gave a jaunty tilt of his head.

He looked around at them again before slapping a hand on Andrew’s back hard enough to nearly rocket him to the floor. Andrew didn’t seem to mind at all. He was too mesmerized by the man and his suit and his workshop.

“Come on back into my shop,” the iron man said then. “Let’s see about getting you guys home.”

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(Jurassic Park)

“Oh, like this is so much better!” Buffy all but screamed as they fled for their lives.

Giles ducked under a branch and kept on going. “Less talking,” he panted as leaves scratched at his face.

“Yeah,” Faith cut in, keeping pace easily with her Slayer enhanced body. “Less talking and more running.”

In the background, there was an impossibly loud howl. More like a roar. Which was followed by monstrous footsteps that were as loud as thunder and far too close for anyone’s liking. It was the sound of an unbeatable predator now on the hunt. And the Scoobies were her prey.

“Ah!”

Willow yelped as a plant snagged her skirt. She fought for a second, but Oz freed her easily. And they kept on running.

“Get us… the hell outta here, Dawn!” Xander ordered with shortened breath. “Like now!”

“I’m trying,” she shouted back, nearly tripping on a root before Oz grabbed her elbow.

The werewolf didn’t let go. He just pulled her along with him, snatching Andrew with the other hand and preventing him from being left in their dust.

The heavy pound of footsteps drew even closer. Booming. Deafening. Nearly caught up.

“Any time, Dawn!” Buffy called back to her, shredding plants and branches as she went to clear a trail for the others.

Dawn allowed Oz to drag her along, and she let her eyes fall half-closed. The distinct crack of trees being ripped from the ground was just feet behind them. And there was a second roar, one so loud that it made her ears ring. But she shook that off and focused on the glowing green energy inside of her, drawing it up and out.

The last they heard was a furious bellow before they were whisked away.

-----

(Full Metal Alchemist)

“Who’re you calling so short he can’t reach the top shelf with a stepladder, midget for brains!” the really short blond guy demanded. Eddie or Eric or something like that.

“Midget for brains?” Buffy asked, tone almost shrill. “What the hell kind of insult is that?”

“Insult? It’s nothing but the truth, pipsqueak!” He jabbed her in the chest and glared at probably the only adult in the world who was eyelevel with him.

“Truth!” Buffy slapped away his hand. “I’ll show you truth. With my fist!”

Dawn just watched as her sister launched herself at Edward – was that right? He dodged and kicked out at her ankles, but Buffy leapt over his leg and grabbed for his arm. She used her momentum to elbow him in ribs, but he kneed her in the groin at the same time. That only served to back them both up a step, but in less than a second, they were on each other again.

Beside her, the suit of armor sighed. Giles echoed his sentiment.

“Children,” he muttered to himself, one hand on his temple. “All these years… and still, I’m surrounded by children.”

Alphonse – the kid in the armor – just looked at his brother for a moment more. Then, he turned back to them.

“I’m really sorry about this,” he apologized yet again in that childish voice of his.

Oz patted him on his metal shoulder but remained silent. Faith just cocked her hip.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re used to it, kid.” The brunette lifted a brow as she saw Edward punch her sister-slayer in face, which only seemed to piss her off even more. “And judging him, I’d say that you are, too.”

Andrew pouted next to her, staring at the still fighting pair. Buffy was now attempting to pull out Edward’s hair, while he blocked her with his metallic arm.

“But I wanted to learn more about alchemy,” Andrew all but whined then.

“A little later,” Willow assured him with a gentle smile. “We’re still trying to figure out how everything works here.”

“Yeah,” Xander added and rubbed at his one good eye before glancing at Alphonse. “Could you explain that gate thing again?”

The End

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