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No Such Thing as Coincidences

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Summary: A story in which there are a slew of long-lost relatives, suppressed magical potential, surprises, and a whole lot of coincidences...if there is such a beast. OCs. OotP/AU Ats S5. Rated mostly for language.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > GeneralheiressofanorFR152071,38023819,2871 Feb 0918 Aug 12No

Chapter 14: Sweet Revenge

Silly little chapter. Lots of fun to write. ;) Enjoy!


Chapter 14: Sweet Revenge

July 13, 2003: Willow made her way downstairs the morning of the second (and worst) day of the full moon. She passed Mya as she descended. The magenta-haired black woman was leading a chocolate-skinned, violet-eyed teenage boy and girl up the stairs. Willow vaguely realized that they were most likely twins because (besides their gender) the only major difference she saw between them was that the boy had short black hair and the girl had silky, straight, black hair that fell down below her waist and was held back loosely by a purple headband. Willow felt a strange, mystical tug on her senses as she passed them, but the was too exhausted to process what it might mean.

"Morning Willow," chirped Mya. "How are you this fine morning?"

"Sleepy," said Willow. "Whozzat?"

"Oh, these are Chase's younger twin siblings, Chandler and Charisma Chance. Guys, I'd like you to meet Willow Evans. She's Mary and Harry's aunt on their mother's side." The violet-eyed twins mumbled their sleep-induced greetings to Willow. "Sorry," said Mya. "I'm afraid Chan and Riz aren't really morning people."

"'Skay, Mya. I'm not either. Need coffee—talk later," said Willow sleepily. Willow quickly continued down the stairs and headed towards the dining room before Mya could chat any more.


Willow entered the dining room to behold the cutest sight ever. Finn, the littlest werewolf was lying in the corner of the room by the fireplace, curled up against a big, black dog, fast asleep. "They are cute, aren't they?" Mrs. Weasley whispered in Willow's ear, causing her to jump a little. "Sorry dear, I didn't mean to startle you. Coffee?"

"Thank you, Molly," said Willow, gratefully accepting the caffeinated beverage and joining the tired werewolves and Sirius at the table.

Willow sat down next to Oz, who gave her a soft peck on the forehead before returning to stoically sipping his coffee. Remus was half asleep, holding onto his nearly-full teacup tightly. Sirius was half-lying, sprawled out on the table, drooling and snoring gently. In complete contrast, Calli and her uber-pregnant twin Cleo were the perfect picture of composure as they sat regally and daintily sipped their tea. In the corner of the room the big, black dog stirred, opening his eerie grey eyes. With a soft POP a tall, black-haired youth appeared in the dog's place. Finn didn't even stir, so Sir (the dog-turned-human) simply stroked the little boy's shaggy chestnut locks and gratefully accepted a mug of coffee from Molly Weasley, who was bustling between the kitchen and the dining room, preparing breakfast for anyone who might want it.

The peaceful silence was rudely interrupted by a crash and a muffled yelp, followed by the all-too familiar shrieking of Mrs. Black's portrait. "HALF-BLOODS! FREAKS! STAINS OF DISHONOR! HOW DARE YOU SULLY THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS!"

Sirius snorted awake at the unpleasant sound of his mother's shrill, grating voice. "Goddamit!" he muttered darkly. "Tonks." He lurched up out of his seat and flew out to the hall to yell at his cousin for disturbing his sleep yet again, and on the morning after a full moon, no less.

"What a way to wake up," Jessi drawled as she sauntered into the dining room. "I think I'm officially awake now, along with the rest of the house."

"I thought you went home last night, Spotts," said Remus.

Jessi waddled over and hugged Remus around the shoulders. "Just 'cause I can't transform with you right now doesn't mean I'm going to abandon you, RJ. I stayed here last night so I could make sure you were okay this morning."

"What about the kids?" asked Remus.

"I left Grace in charge. She's 'responsible' after all."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," said Remus with a raise of his eyebrow.

Jessi gave him a "duh" look. "If I didn't know any better, Moony, I'd say she was yours instead of Padfoot's. She's responsible, neat, smart, well-behaved, a prefect—where the bloody hell'd I go wrong?!"

"What's so wrong with all that, Sissi?"

Jessi gave her best friend an incredulous look. "What's wrong? What's wrong, RJ?! She's- she's a prefect! She'll probably get Head Girl this year too! Where the bloody hell'd I go wrong, Moony?"

Remus sighed in exasperation; this was one argument no one ever won against Jessi. "Sissi—"

"Where, Remus, where?! I mean—" Jessi was suddenly shut up by Molly, who shoved a spoonful of peanut butter into her open mouth. Suddenly blissfully content, Jessi took the jar of peanut butter from Molly and sank down silently into the seat next to Remus. Willow glanced quickly over at Finn and was more than a little surprised to see that the young werewolf was still fast asleep, curled up on his brother's lap.

"Thank you, Molly," said Remus, rubbing his temples. Molly smiled at the werewolf, gave his shoulder a quick squeeze, and returned to the kitchen. The smells of toast, eggs, pancakes, and sausage were beginning to waft through the house.

"Wotcher, all!" chirped a cheerful voice. Willow looked over to see a tall brunette woman, who reminded her an awful lot of Xander, follow a grumbling Sirius into the room. Sirius plopped back down next to Jessi and attempted to steal her peanut butter ("MINE!" she growled), but to no avail. Tonks (the brunette woman) settled herself down next to Remus and smiled cheerfully across the table at Willow. "Wotcher," she said. "I'm Tonks."

"I'm Willow," she replied, "and this is my boyfriend Oz."

"Nice to meet you. I love your hair, by the way." To Willow's amazement and amusement, Tonks morphed her hair to match Willow's, her natural gray eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Oh, oh!" Willow exclaimed. "You're Dora! You're Xander's sister!"

"You know Xander?" said Tonks, puzzled.

"He's only my bestest best friend in the whole wide world," she replied with a huge grin. "We've known each other since we were really little."

"Oh! You're that Willow! He talks about you all the time, you know."

Willow smiled. "Good," she said. She looked at Tonks and Remus, seeing their surreptitious glances at each other, and she couldn't resist asking, "So, are you and Remus a couple, Dora?"

Remus and Tonks both blushed as Jessi and Sirius snickered evilly at them. "Well, I—I mean we—" stuttered Tonks.

"I—Nymphadora and I—that's just—" Remus stuttered and Jessi elbowed him hard in the ribs. He winced (he was still quite sore from his transformation just hours ago), rolled his eyes, and said, "What I meant to say was, not exactly, but—Nymphadora, would you like to out to lunch with me this afternoon?"

Dora blushed, her hair morphing to her favorite bubble-gum pink spikes. "I'd love to, Remus," she replied.

"Wonderful," Remus said. After their short conversation, the two simply sat with silly grins plastered on their faces for a good minute and a half.

"You two can thank me'n Jess for those heart-to-hearts now," said Sirius. Tonks and Remus shared a look. As one, they raised their wands at Sirius and shot a series of silent spells at the meddling animagus. Sirius began to freak out when he couldn't figure out what they had done to him. "Moooooony, what'd you do to me?" he whined. Remus conjured up a small hand mirror and handed it to Sirius with a satisfied smirk.

Sirius cautiously raised the mirror to his face and looked at himself, shuddering as he surveyed the damage. Remus and Tonks had transfigured his normal-sized, aristocratic nose into a huge, honking beak, the likes of which he had only ever seen on one Snivellus Snape. But that wasn't all, oh no. The mischievous duo had also charmed his skin green (like Elphaba), transfigured his robes to a lovely shade of hot pink with small mewling white kittens on them, and—horror of horrors—charmed all his beautiful ebony hair away.

"Spoooooots," Sirius whimpered, "Moony and Tonks are being mean to me."

"Hell if I care," snorted Jessi. "You tried to steal my peanut butter, you wanker."

"But Jeeeesi—"

"Holy begeebers on toast! What happened here, cuz?"

Sirius scowled at Xander as he walked into the room, a huge grin on his face as he surveyed the damage done to Sirius. "Moony and Tonks are being mean to me," he huffed.

"Aw, suck it up, you big baby," yawned Cordy, coming in behind Xander, dressed only in the button-up shirt he had worn the day before.

"Cordy," said Willow, "why aren't you wearing anything besides Xander's shirt?"

Cordy blushed, her perfectly tanned skin turning bright red. "Shut up," she snapped. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"But I thought—" protested Xander.

"I said shut up, Xander," she hissed.

"Did you—" said Dora, glancing back and forth from a very red and happy Xander to an equally red and mortified Cordy, "—you did! Good on you, Cor!" she exclaimed with a large, toothy grin.

"Shut up," Cordy hissed, her face nearing embarrassed Weasley red.

"What's going on?" asked Sirius, puzzled and clueless as usual.

Dora winked at Cordy. "Don't worry Cor," she said, "I won't tell him if he can't figure it out for himself."

Cordy groaned and sank down into an empty seat at the table. "I am so screwed," she moaned as she buried her head in her arm on the table.

"Oh, I know that," said Dora.

"Shut up, Dora!"

"Hey!" interjected Sirius. "Is someone gonna fix me here? Moony? Spotts? Tonks? Anybody?"

The three aforementioned friends looked at each other. "Nah," they said in unison, standing up and leaving the room together.

"Jessi? Remy? Dory? Pleeeease!" cried Sirius, chasing after them desperately.

And through it all little Finn Lupin slept peacefully on, safely tucked away in his big brother's lap.


The encounter with the twins on the stairs will be important later in the story, just fyi. ;)

The End?

You have reached the end of "No Such Thing as Coincidences" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 18 Aug 12.

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