This is my attempt at a funny...haha.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters...
“You like her.” She stated matter of factly, her arms heavy with books, and blonde hair in ringlets around her shoulders. Scowling I took some of the books from her, lightening the load as we started down the hallway, her heels clacking loudly against the stone floor.
“No I don’t.”
She made a noise of disbelief smiling at the kids we passed in the hallway. The robes she wore were a deep blue according to her, the hue of the robe complimented the pale color of the blouse she wore which would attract male attention to her necklace which was a bright royal blue and draw the eye to the cleavage that peeked out of the shirt.
She was right but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
“Yes you do, “ she entered my office, dumping the books she held on my desk, taking up residence in my chair like she owned the place, “I can tell, you’re pupils dilate and you do this thing with your nose like your trying to inhale her scent from across the room.”
The look I gave her was not friendly, she only shrugged, “Arousal is a normal human reaction, you shouldn’t be embarrassed, and when you get embarrassed your ears turn red it’s unattractive.” She flipped open one of the books continuing as I shrugged out of my robe and outer sweater.
“You’re accent does get thicker when you’re flustered though, and I like when you do this face, “She pushed out her lips, frowning deeply.
“I don’ do tha’”
“See that, “ she gestured to me, “You’re accent got thick again you should work on that, otherwise when your having sex and she wants you to whisper sweet nothings into her ear you’ll sound like a gruff old man.”
I dropped onto the chair in front of the desk giving her a glare; she continued talking, uncaring of the embarrassment that would no doubt come out of this conversation.
“I see the way she looks at you all dazed and …blank.”
“That’s just the way she looks.” I replied dryly.
She made another noise, “You know I bet she’d be a tiger in bed, I mean she’s so quiet and delicate and so….Luna.” she shrugged, “Maybe she’s a lesbian-“
“You’re right,”‘ she tapped her chin thoughtfully, “She’d want to grasp the wood-“ she winked, “Get it, Oliver…Wood…Maybe you can take her flying…on your Broom
” another wink and a smile.
“Why are you getting embarrassed?” she stood up with a roll of her eyes, “It’s perfectly natural, kissing, touching, and sex. It’s the best thing in the whole world and the underworld and I would know. You silly Mortals act like it’s something to be ashamed of, it’s beautiful and sweaty and, ‘ she leaned her hip against the desk, on hand on her throat, eyes far away, “To be that close to someone, the feel of skin on skin, moans-“
“Stop!” I threw up my hands, “Please you’re going to have an orgasm just from thinking about it.”
“You know I did that once, “she sighed, restacking the books neatly, running her hands over her robes. “Alright well I have a date with a certain someone in a broom closet on the third floor-“
“You can use room.”
She frowned, “Where’s the fun in that?”
Shaking my head I took up my sweat behind the desk, she headed for the door.
“By the way I left Luna a dirty note-“
I groaned covering my face with my hands.
“It’s not that bad, it just says…You’d like to get her naked and hump like bunnies-Except not really like bunnies because just-not even going to go there.” She shuddered visibly.
“There not that bad.”
“Of course they are!” she grimaced, “With the ears and the twitchy noses…It’s disgusting, not to mention the speed in which they reproduce I’m telling you they want to take over the world.”
I started to smile and she gave me a warning look, “Don’t you dare laugh, Luna should be here in say…three minutes “she flashed a brilliant smile, “Make sure you use protection.”
She was out the door before I could reply.