Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing it for a bit.
A/N: This fic is largely the product of my sense of humour and I wrote it in a few minutes. If I made any mistakes, let me know. Kudos to anyone who recognizes the crossover.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time.
It had started at one of the many pre-apocalypse research parties. The book had been mixed in with the others but the fact that it was white and gold instead of the usual brown and dusty made it stand out and catch his eye. It turned out to have nothing to do with that week’s Big Bad so he’d just flicked through it at the time, but what he had read was tantalizing enough for him to go back for another look after said Big Bad had been dealt with.
What he read was very interesting. The whole book was about a sword, but not just any sword. According to the book, this one could cut through time, make it’s wielder fly, and do all sorts of other cool stuff. He recognized the sword’s name of course, as would everyone else who’d even heard of King Arthur, but he’d never heard about all the magic stuff before. The book also mentioned where it could be found, and not in the usual cryptic way either. In hindsight that should’ve probably tipped him off that something wasn’t quite right but at the time he’d just wondered why it was in a cave in California instead of at the bottom of a lake in England. By the time he’d finished reading, he knew one thing. He really, really wanted that sword. He may have been okay with being the normal one of the Scoobies, but come on, the sword could make him fly
. Who could resist that?
Xander had intended to tell the others about it and ask Giles if he’d heard anything else about the sword, but then a lot of stuff happened, things had gone to hell and by the time it was all over and the High School had been reduced to smoking rubble he’d more or less forgotten about it. He didn’t remember about it until he was making some last minute plans for his road-trip and he’d spotted the sword’s supposed location on the map. He kind of doubted that it would be that easy to find but it wasn’t too far out of his way and he decided that he might as well take a look. If it wasn’t there, then fine. He’d just continue with his plan to drive to all the states. If he did find it, then he could get some practice in while on the road and have a surprise for the girls when he got back.
Which was why, a week or so later, Xander found himself in a cave wading through an underground river that while not that deep, was surprisingly cold for California.
The fairy that had appeared in front of him didn’t seem threatening, but it had startled him and he’d swotted at it before the lack of scariness registered.
The fairy, having dodged his flailing, flew off in a huff. Xander watched it go, then shrugged and continued onwards.
It wasn’t long before he spotted the sword. Sticking out of the floor, it looked just like he’d imagined.
“Okay, time to see if I can pull this thing out.”
Rubbing his hands together, he wrapped them around the sword’s handle and pulled. To his surprise, it came out easily. Grinning like an idiot, he was giving it a few practice swings when the sword jerked out of his hands and floated in the air.
“I am Excalibur!”
Xander didn’t have chance to get over his surprise at the sword talking before there was a flash of light that made him close his eyes. When he opened them again, the sword had vanished and in its place was what could be best described as a half-dressed cartoon animal with a long snout and an equally long top hat, holding a white walking stick.
The cartoon animal stuck the cane in front of Xander’s face.
“Who are you, looking at me like that?”
“My legend began in the 12th century. Where are you from?”
The stick was again pointed at Xander, who was starting to get annoyed.
“Get that thing out of my face. I’m from Sunnydale. I was looking for Excalibur.”
“Oh right, let me show you something good.”
By this point, Xander was definitely getting annoyed and had the feeling that the cartoon animal wasn’t even listening to him. Said cartoon animal walked off a little way.
“What are you going to show me?”
The cane was back in front of his face.
“Do you want to hear of my legend?”
“Do you want to hear of my brave exploits?”
“No. Stop pointing that stick at me.”
As the cartoon animal, which, with a sinking feeling, Xander was starting to realise was Excalibur, continued to brandish the stick and talk over him, one thought came to mind.