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You Can't Be Serious

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Summary: Willow likes to shake Mal up...just a bit.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Firefly > Willow-CenteredAngelskuuipoFR71732132,21315 Feb 0915 Feb 09Yes
Title: You Can’t Be Serious
Author: Angel’s Kuuipo
Fandom: BtVS/Firefly
Rating: FRE
Characters/Pairing: Willow/Mal
Disclaimer: Not mine, never have been, never will be…damn it.
Prompt: “You’re What?!”
Author’s Note: Written for Bknut3 in honor of my Fifth Writing Anniversary. I hope you like it, sweetie! Thanks be to Snogged for the beta.
Author’s Note the 2nd: Translations- Wo de ma= Oh my God; bao bei= sweetheart/darling; Dong ma= understand.
Word Count: 700
Written: February 11, 2009
Summary: Willow likes to shake Mal up…just a bit.

Mal stopped in the middle of running for their lives to stare at his, well, his other half. She’d had some crazy ideas before, but this… “You can’t be serious?!” He yelled.

Jayne barreled into him and got Mal moving again while Willow rolled her eyes. “You bet I am, mister!” She called as she ran.

He shook his head even as he ducked the gun blast. “No, I don’t think so. ‘Cause there’s no way in the ‘verse I heard you right.”

Zoe glared at them both as she laid cover fire. “Can’t you two do this later? We’re a little busy now, if you hadn’t noticed.”

Willow smiled at her sweetly and sent a fireball towards the Alliance soldiers that were chasing them. “I just thought he should know, Zoe.”

“Well you picked a fine time to get all domestic, Red,” Jayne grumbled.

She patted him on the arm and said comfortingly, “I’ve found mortal peril to be the perfect time for such things. The dialogue is much more honest.”

Jayne just gave her a look that clearly said, ‘You’re crazier than River on her worst day.’

They finally made it to Serenity and Wash took off before the cargo bay door had shut. Thanks to Willow’s cloaking spell the Alliance couldn’t track them. It was too bad the spell wasn’t permanent. After everyone caught their breath, Mal bore down on the love of his life, intending to continue they conversation she’d started on their run for safety.

Before he could say a word though, River bounded into the cargo bay. She looked at Willow hopefully. “Are we really?”

Mal knew that look on River’s face. “Oh no, we are most certainly not!” He practically shouted. To Willow, he said, “Wo de ma! Woman, you are going to drive me insane!”

Willow blinked at him innocently. “But it would be perfect!”

Jayne snickered as he went by. He hadn’t been too sure about having a witch on board, but he had to admit- if only to himself- that Willow was fun to have around. And she was good in a fight, even if she still freaked him out sometimes with the whole magic thing. He had a feeling she was just winding Mal up now, but just in case…he had some weapons to clean.

Zoe rolled her eyes and left her captain and his woman to their latest game.

River took a seat on the Mule and watched Mal and Willow like a tennis match. She smiled happily when Mal got tired of arguing and just pulled Willow into his arms and kissed her like there was no tomorrow. She sighed and quietly slipped out of the cargo hold. It really would have been fun. Her eyes grew wide and she stifled a giggle at what she saw in her mind. Oh! That’s even better! So many plans! She had to find Kaylee.

Mal leaned his forehead against Willow’s. “You are not going to tie the Alliance President up, cover him in honey, and let a bear loose in his office. It sounds messy and I really don’t think it would solve our problems, even if would be all manner of satisfying. I don’t care how tired you are of them chasing us. Until you can figure out a way to erase any mention of River and Simon from their records and the Cortex, that’s the way it’s going to be. Dong ma?

She pouted at him for a moment then smiled and kissed him gently. “Whatever you say, bao bei.”

Mal waited and wasn’t disappointed. Willow’s lips twitched and then she giggled. Even after all this time she still found it funny to mix Chinese in with English.

“Just out of curiosity, why did you announce that harebrained scheme while we were running?” He asked as they walked arm in arm to their bunk.

Willow shrugged. “I’d just thought of it.” She let go of him and picked up her pace a bit. Over her shoulder, she said, “At least I didn’t tell you I was pregnant!” Then she took off running.

Mal stood there for a moment. She couldn’t be serious. Then again…“You’re what?!”


The End

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