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Summary: One shot. Cordelia’s life changes once more, and once again nothing will be the same.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Cordelia-CenteredClandestineFR1518301287620 Feb 0920 Feb 09Yes
Title: Relations
Author: Clandestine
Rating: FR15
Spoilers: In season 1 of Angel, after the last episode. Somewhere in season ? for Supernatural, meaning no spoilers whatsoever for Supernatural. LOL.
Summary: One shot. Cordelia’s life changes once more, and once again nothing will be the same.
Disclaimer: Of course I own nothing. I’m just playing around with characters from Ats and Supernatural.

My parents never did have the greatest of marriages. Not even before the IRS took all our money away. To say the least, after that event, it just went more downhill. Where their shouting matches once were heard all over the mansion, they were now heard through an entire apartment building. By the time I reached 18 I knew everything about my Mom’s small “mishap” one late night after an argument with my Dad. Well, not my biological Dad mind you, but the man who raised me during all these years.

Of course none of them had dared to tell me all of this to my face. Nope, I got to hear it all through their yelling. Back then it felt as if someone had sucker punched me. Not all that different from when I took that fall and ended up with a poke through my stomach. Only this time I didn’t have anyone to be mad at. Not really.

I guess I always knew something was fishy, even if I didn’t know what exactly.

I didn’t care. That’s what I told myself. I figured I had enough to handle with just two parents. Why try and find a third?

So I lived my life. I survived Sunnyhell. That’s the only way to describe it. I survived, despite all the heartache and danger, I lived. I moved to LA. And as life goes, I ended up working with Angel and co, my plans of becoming a famous actress slowly ending up second among my many priorities, where it once had been the first. The only.

Especially after Doyle. After the visions. Life was never the same after I lost him. After we lost him.

My path towards fame and glory and money changed the moment I got involved with Buffy and the rest of the Scoobies. My upbringing be damned. I didn’t know that at the time though. I didn’t see it. Then again, you never really do, do you?

I thought I could go on living my life as it had been. Of course I was wrong.

Everything changes.

When I first got the visions I thought that was all. That I’d suffer through the excruciating headaches but that’d be it. Just like Doyle did. I was determined to not let them stop me from living my dream. From having my dream.

And then I was marked by Vocah. And I saw it all. The pain. The suffering. The fear. Then I knew I had to help. That I couldn’t stand on the sidelines anymore and pretend like it wasn’t out there. Evil that is.

It’s strange how those works. Awakenings. Events that may mean nothing to most, but that changes everything for a select few.

I started thinking a lot after that. I worked harder at the agency, spent more time at the Hyperion. I started to question my life. Of course Wesley and Angel noticed. Even Gunn did, whenever he came to visit with his posse. I would catch them glancing at me every now and again, worry evident in their eyes. It didn’t matter how many times I told them I was okay. That I just had a lot on my mind.

I didn’t tell them about my Dad. My real Dad. I didn’t tell them I’d started looking for him. I don’t know why I started the search… Scratch that, I do. It was curiosity. Pure and simple. Curiosity and an urge to see what kind of life he was living. See what kind of man this John Winchester was. I guess I wanted to know if my life would have been different if I’d been raised by him. If it would have taken a different path.

If I’d still have been queen C.

If I’d still have ended up working with Angel.

If I’d still have lost Doyle.

More than likely I would be a different person. I knew that. Perhaps the man would have been an abuser. Perhaps I’d have grown up in a life that I couldn’t wait to escape. But maybe, just maybe, I’d have grown up loved. Grown up happy. That was how I wished it’d have been anyway. At least when I was awake late at night thinking about it all.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t that simple. And when I learned just who he was, I started laughing so hard I ended up crying. All of my thoughts of a different life were thrown out of the window. My father was a demon hunter. And so were my two older brothers.

Turned out I hadn’t fallen so far from the family tree after all.

Maybe, just maybe, that meant I was on the right path for once in my life.

The end.

The End

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