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We isn't one, is we Precious?

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Poetry

Summary: A filk to the tune of “I Am/ We Are Australian” by Bruce Woodley and Dobe Newton, telling the story of the Third Age from Smeagol's perspective.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Lord of the Rings > Non-BtVS/AtS StoriesHawkehuntFR1513950633227 Feb 0927 Feb 09Yes
We isn't one, is we Precious?

A filk to the tune of "I Am/ We Are Australian" by Bruce Woodley and Dobe Newton, telling the story of the Third Age from Smeagol's perspective.

This filk is an original composition based on the works of J. R. R. Tolkien, and borrows characters, ideas, and concepts from his novels The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Some ideas also inspired by Peter Jackson's film adaptations of The Lord of the Rings. All copyrighted material remains the property of the owners, including but not limited to: The Trustees of the J. R. R. Tolkien 1967 Settlement, New Line Productions, Inc. and Tolkien Enterprises.

We came from a river
Where we liked to fish and swim,
Then Deagol found the Precious
So we had to throttle him.
We quickly learned to sneak and hide
Where no-one else would come.
Now all the peoples hateses us
Yes, we is Gollum.

We is one but we is many
And we sneaks where things are dark and glum.
We shares a scheme, and talks to ourselfs.
I is,
We is,
Yes we is Gollum.

We hid under the mountains
Where it's dark and dank and cold.
We stayed so long, our eyes grew big,
And now we're very old.
We had to eat the orcses,
And orcses isn't yum!
But it's better than the Bright Face,
'Cos we is Gollum.

One day we lost the Precious
While finding food to eat.
It went in Baggins' pocketses
And then he tried to cheat.
Baggins asked a tricksy riddle
That we thought was really dumb.
So now we'll wring its filthy neck.
Yes we is Gollum.

The nasty Dark Lord caught us,
And made us writhe in pain.
We told him 'bout the hobbit,
That Baggins was its name.
But everyone still hates us;
We'd like to hide or run,
But we must find the Precious
'Cos we is Gollum.

We follows stupid hobbitses
To get our Precious back.
We loves the slimy fishes
And eats them for a snack.
We eats the wriggly wormses,
The snails and bugs and scum,
But not the nasty hobbits' food,
'Cos we is Gollum.

We is one, but we is many
And we sneaks where things are dark and glum.
We shares a scheme, and talks to ourselfs.
I is,
We is,
Yes we is Gollum.

The End

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