After reading Nomma's wonderful little ficlet titled Danger something just snappe and I was inspired to come up with an unofficial sequel. The author has every right to do whatever he/she wants with the story and disregard my take on the new development Xander finds himself in. That is all.Disclaimer: Buffy and all related characters belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy. The characters, situations and events of Lost in Space belong to... I haven't the foggiest idea to be honest, all I know is it isn't me. Some parent company probably holds the rights, whoever made the movie from which this version of the Robot was taken from most likely. Story situation/idea belongs to Nomma I've simply borrowed the delightful little concept for my muse's enjoyment. If you try to sue me or something, well I did say I don't own any of this so any lawsuits DOES NOT COMPUTE! LOL
The back door was in a shambles, in fact the entire doorway was broken open leaving a rather unique looking hole in its place. Joyce Summers sighed as she looked at it and then across to the being that used to be Xander Harris, it was the morning of November First and she hadn’t yet had her coffee, but Buffy and Willow had decided now was the time to spring this on her.
The librarian from school stood off to the corner with another man who looked like he’d been punched by the boy, no he wasn’t actually a boy anymore. Joyce moved over to the young man now machine and placed her hand on his chassis.
“Are you ok in there Xander?” she asked softly.
“CONFIRMED, UNIT XANDER HARRIS IS 100% FUNCTIONAL,” he replied in that booming voice of his.
“That’s not what I asked,” she reprimanded with a tiny sigh.
“UNIT XANDER HARRIS UNDERSTANDS. PHYSICAL SHELL OF HUMAN BODY NO LONGER PRESENT INSIDE ROBOT FORM.”
“It was a ruddy stupid move Ethan,” Giles repeated shooting a glare at the other man.
“How was I to know he’d be stuck that way? It isn’t like I can be expected to see something like this happening,” Ethan shot back frustratedly. “I’m tired Ripper old boy, perhaps if we sleep on it,” he suggested moving to leave the room.
“SIT DOWN MISTER RAYNE,” Xander ordered rolling up in an intimidating manner.
“Right, I’ll just.” Ethan took a seat.
“Ok mom, so um, you’re not mad?” Buffy asked nervously.
“Mad, why on Earth should I be mad?” Joyce demanded an edge in her gaze. Buffy took a step back and Joyce sighed yet again. “I should have expected something like this, you tried to tell us, but I was too blind to listen or see the truth of the matter. What exactly are we supposed to do with Xander, I mean for Xander, now?” she asked turning to Mister Giles.
“For the time being I’m not certain, but I would suggest that we do not panic. Also we should do everything in our power to keep him comfortable and under wraps, I shudder to think what the government might do were they to discover his existence. They might try and disassemble him to see how he works.” Giles looked ill when he said that as if he might be sick, Joyce had to agree with his way of thinking.
“THIS UNIT WILL NOT BE DISSASSEMBLED, GOVERNMENT FORCES WILL BE DESTROYED IF NECESSARY TO PROTECT XANDER HARRIS!” the robot stated rather loudly.
“Quite right my boy very good idea,” Ethan said with a smirk.
“Oh do grow up you bloody prat,” Giles shot back slapping Ethan in the back of his head.
“There’s no need to get physical Ripper,” Ethan returned.
“Why does he keep calling you that?” Willow asked.
“It’s nothing,” Giles stated dismissively. “Now then where will we keep Xander until we can reverse the spell’s effects?” he asked turning to the group.
“What a stupid question, obviously we’ll keep him here,” Buffy declared.
“And where exactly would you like to put him? I won’t have him in either of our bedrooms and there is no way he can get downstairs with those treads of his,” Joyce stated pointing out the obvious. “I need a coffee.”
“Right,” Giles agreed turning to the coffee pot.
“Mom why can’t we just keep him in the living room?” Buffy asked with a pout. “We can just tell people he’s a prop or something.” Joyce shook her head and rubbed the bridge of her nose, it was just too much for her daughter to expect her to think clearly at this time in the morning.
“QUERY UNIT’S SAFETY JEAPORDIZES SAFETY OF DESIGNATED CHARGES, UNIT SHOULD FIND OWN PLACE TO STAY,” Xander said.
“Could you stop talking so disjointedly the robot did talk normally you know,” Willow stated angrily.
“SORRY DIFFICULT TO OVERRIDE PROGRAMMING WILLS,” Xander returned apologetically.
“Sure I get that, but no way are you going off on your own mister, so just get that idea out of your head,” Willow stated with her resolve face firmly in place.
“UNDERSTOOD, ORDER CONFRIMED XANDER HARRIS REMAINS WITH GROUP,” Xander declared.
“Well I don’t see why we can’t keep him here on a trial basis,” Joyce mused eyeing Xander thoughtfully. “He doesn’t need to eat or anything and there is that little used den we have I was thinking of turning into an office.”
“Thanks mom,” Buffy exclaimed rushing to wrap her up in a hug. Joyce smiled and then shook her heard.
“I’m doing this for Xander, not you,” she said sternly, “we still have a lot to talk about little miss Vampire Slayer.” Buffy blanched.
“Yes well if you won’t be needing me any longer I’ll just be going then, toodles,” Ethan said moving to leave yet again.
“STOP WHERE YOU ARE MISTER RAYNE, DON’T MAKE ME PUNCH YOU AGAIN,” Xander ordered.
“Right well, bloody hell what on Earth do you expect me to do stay here until we can solve this problem that could take ruddy weeks,” Ethan retorted vehemently.
“IF NECESSARY MISTER RAYNE,” Xander replied.
“Oh, oh, oh Xander you aren’t thinking what I’m thinking are you?” Willow asked with a big grin.
“AFFIRMATIVE WILL ROSENBERG,” he replied.
“What are you going on about?” Giles asked curiously.
“Can’t you figure it out Ripper or must I draw you a picture?” Ethan asked with a slight scowl. “Perhaps a quotation will jog your memory. Oh the pain, the pain,” Ethan said reaching up to massage his back. Giles broke into an evil smile, Buffy, Willow and the others had never seen anything like it on him before. Then he burst into outrageous laughter. “I wouldn’t laugh old boy, if Miss Summers here is the esteemed Robinson Matriarch then you are equally attributed as the Robinson Patriarch.”
“Oh ewwww I do not need to have that mental image in my head thank you very much,” Buffy declared as she reached for the pot of coffee and started pouring the cups.
“Quite right, shame on you Ethan,” Giles said. Ethan only smirked.
“Well then I suppose I’ll have to bunk up with you Ripper old friend,” he stated.
“Good lord,” Giles exclaimed with a horrified expression.
“Um, Xander, do you think… well could you say it?” Willow asked nervously. Xander shifted his entire bulk so he could regard her with his one uniform optic sensor device; it almost looked like he was pressing her to elaborate. “Please?” she pleaded.
“VERY WELL,” Xander said. “DESTROY, DESTROY, DESTROY!” he stated raising his arms in a threatening gesture. Willow broke into a wide happy little smile and rushed up to her bestest best bud giving him an awkward hug.
“Thanks Xander,” she whispered softly.
“I AM PROGRAMMED TO ENTERTAIN AND ENSURE EMOTIONAL STATE OF CHARGES IS PLEASED,” Xander stated.
“Oh switch off,” Ethan muttered.
“THAT DOES NOT COMPUTE,” Xander shot back.
“I can see where this will present a very large problem to my continued happiness and well being,” Ethan remarked with a scowl.
“YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN MISTER RAYNE.”The End