Summary: AU. Twice over. Alternate version of the kids mentioned in the Epilogue. Who somehow, possibly through magic, end up in a close approximation of Canon Land. Except Snape and Sirius live as books 6 and 7 haven’t happened.
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters recognizable as part of JK Rowling’s Harry Potter books. The only thing I own is the demented plot and the OC Savia. And I am gaining no profit from any of the contents hereafter.
All I Want For Christmas….
James Sirius Potter grumbled under his breath as he paced back and forth in the entrance Hallway of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Three steps left, turn, three steps right. Lather, rinse, repeat. He had been stuck here for the better part of an hour thanks to the thrice damned magical mistletoe that somebody had stuck over the archway. He hadn’t noticed it until he was caught in its magical sphere, and was unable to leave until he had shared a kiss with someone of the opposite sex.
Hugo had found it all a jolly joke and practically skipped off to the Great Hall with an in no way sincere promise to fetch help. James was going to kill the little shit - Hugo was already 6’ 3”, well on the way to surpassing his father and all his uncles in the height department while James seemed stuck at 6’ 2”- as soon as he got out of this situation. He was sure Aunt ‘Mione would forgive him eventually!
Why did this have to happen to him over Winter Hols? Any other time and there would be more than enough eligible young Witches more than willing to free the Handsome sixth year. In fact, he had spent a rather pleasant hour up on the charms corridor with his own sprig of mistletoe, and the majority of the female element of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. Until Old Iron Minnie had shown up. His head of house had not been amused, to put it mildly.
His ears perked up at the sudden sound of footsteps approaching behind him at a rapid pace. Finally! Turning his head he opened his mouth to say…something. Promptly forgetting it in the horror of who was approaching. The witches robes billowed behind her as she strode swiftly down the hallway, her dark head bent, and face hidden behind a book. But there was no mistaking who it was. James gave the brief thought that he must have done something particularly nasty in a previous incarnation to warrant this.
Before he could even work up the will to call out a warning she had drawn even with where he stood and passed by. All of two steps before the magic took hold and the witches own momentum and the strength of the wards sent her sprawling to the floor with a bone jarring thump. James couldn’t contain a wince, that had
to have hurt!
“Bloody, buggering, SHITTING HELL
!!” The girl growled out through clenched teeth as a pale hand tentatively probed at the back of her head. “Who…..POTTER!!” And in a swift motion she was back on her feet wand drawn and pointed square at his chest.
“H’lo Snivellus.” James returned blandly. “Nice of you to drop by.”
“What in Merlin’s name are you playing at now, you fluff brained, Gryffindor Oik?!” Was the virulent hiss accompanied by flashing black eyes. “I had hoped to be spared your odious presence at Christmas at least!”
“Ah, well.” James sneered right back, with a casual gesture up to the ceiling. “If wishes were Dragons….”
“You would have been char broiled years ago, leaving the world a far more pleasant place!” She muttered glancing up briefly. “Oh for….. If it’s not you, it’s the rest of the cretinous Weasleys! This is just the infantile behaviour one would expect from that herd of flame haired, rock brained rabble!”
“Gosh, Snivellus!” He placed a mock shocked hand over his heart. “I’m simply cut to the core that the bastard daughter of a black hearted Death Eater doesn’t like my family. Really, there may be tears!”
Oops! His eyes widened slightly as she made that noise that was somewhere between fat sizzling and the enraged hiss of a cat. The noise that meant she had just been pushed into a hexing frame of mind. And James would know, he’d been pushing her to that level of anger ever since they had met in their first year. That first altercation had left Savia Isabella Snape with day-glo yellow hair, and James having a face to face meeting with the Giant Squid. And he had just remembered he had left his wand in the dorm.
“You…you….my f….ARGH!” oh boy. An inarticulate Snape was a dangerous Snape! Again something he had learned from experience.
Savia stuck out with her free hand, as swift as the serpent that symbolised her House., and grabbed his collar. She pulled him down so they were nose to nose. “If I were you Potter, I would be checking my food from now on, least I should give in to the temptation of slipping something in it as retribution for this odious thing I now do!”
And then she kissed him!
Savia Isabella Snape kissed James Sirius Potter!
And though the world didn’t end as many would suspect if they witnessed such an occurrence. James figured she laced her lipstick with some Dark Potion, as his mind imploded under the sensations. He growled and deepened the kiss, all warm lips, teeth and tongue. And he moved to wrap an arm round her waist to press her close when she suddenly pulled back.
James blinked up from the floor, automatically cradling his jaw as he watched her storm off. Muttering imprecations and rubbing her abused knuckles. His dazed mind noted three things:
1: Snape had a right hook like a Muggle jack hammer.
2: Snape kissed him and he liked it
And 3: Savia Snape, the ultimate Slytherin, had her tongue pierced.
“Wow…” He sighed.
“What’s Wow mate?” Hugo asked as he exited the Great Hall.
“Somewhere between ‘Ouch’ and BOING!” IBOD
Albus Severus Potter and Scorpius Abraxan Malfoy were the first of the students to arrive for the Christmas morning feast. They quickly took their now customary seats at the head table along with the few teachers that had also stayed over the holidays. Headmistress McGonagall, Professors Flitwick, Slughorn and (shudder) Trelawney. They exchanged brief greetings of the season before putting their heads together and continuing their hushed conversation.
“I’m telling you Sam.” Albus hissed to his housemate and best friend. “He’s up to something! If nothing else the way he’s been acting is gonna drive Sis completely round the twist.”
“C’mon Asp. Maybe your brother’s just finally grown up enough to realise that his feud with Sis is completely asinine!”
Both the boys paused over the thought for a moment before shaking their head in unison. The last thing the elder Potter boy had ever been was mature. Though that begged the question as to the actual reason behind the sixth years queer behaviour over the past two weeks. He’d practically been stalking Savia, which wasn’t that different from his usual behaviour, only instead of taunting and/or hexing her when he ran her to ground he was being all…weird. Downright nice, actually, and if Al didn’t know any better he’d say he was trying to flirt with the Slytherin. He’d been trying to give her things as well. Flowers on one occasion and wrapped parcels as well. Though what was in those parcels they would never know as Savia had barely looked at them before refusing them. And she had hexed the bouquet into ashen oblivion. Though she had taken to avoiding him entirely over the last couple of days. She just had no idea how to deal with the aberrant behaviour.
“Where is Sis anyway?” Al asked looking round the Hall.
“I think she went to pick Lily up from her Dorms.” Scorpius replied with a shrug as he began to shovel food into his mouth.
“Don’t be daft! Lils is sitting over there.” Al retorted pointing at his sister ( a Hufflepuff Merlin help them!) who was sat halfway between their position on the very edge of the table and the centre seats.
“What? But she got a letter….. He wouldn’t?!”
No sooner had they uttered the last sentiment in unison than the door to their right, usually used by the Professors, burst upon and banged violently against the wall. And in stormed Savia with a face like thunder and her robes billowing behind her. She was closely followed by Hugo, whose face was red with suppressed laughter and a rather pale and desperate looking James.
“Put them back Savia!” He pleaded “I need
“Hardly Potter!” Savia retorted. “As I see it I’m doing the world a favour!”
“Aw c’mon! Pleeease!”
“Fine!” She snarled whirling so suddenly James nearly stood on her. “On the condition that you cease this ridiculous behaviour and leave me in peace.”
“yeah, sure, youbetcha.”
Black eyes narrowed, before with a great sigh she drew her wand and with a complicated swirling motion James was suddenly enveloped in a bright purple glow. When it faded James hurriedly patted himself down before sighing in relief.
And with a rending crack and flash of light Savia, James, Scorpius and Albus disappeared from the room.
“Fuck Me!” Headmistress McGonagall blurted. AN: Anyone interested in what happens next needs to leave a review!