Disclaimer: I do not own 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', 'Numb3rs', 'Inspector Gadget', or 'Get Smart’ and I am not Joss Whedon (BtVS), Nicolas Falacci (N), Cheryl Heuton (N), Andy Heyward (IG), Jean Chalopin (IG), Bruno Bianchi (IG), Mel Brooks (GS), or Buck Henry (GS). No infringement is intended and no profit is being made.
Buffy Summers and Don Eppes.
Giles stuck his head into the hallway and shouted, “Buffy! I need you for a moment.”
“Sure thing G,” Buffy replied, right behind him. Giles grabbed at his heart, shocked by his slayer’s sudden appearance.
“Must you?” Giles asked dourly. “What am I saying, of course you do.”
“It’s in my nature,” Buffy replied brightly.
Buffy pulled Giles back into his office and asked, “So what’s the happy haps?”
Giles opened his mouth to speak but decided that it would be best just to ignore Buffy’s mangling of the English language.
“We’ve got a case. There’s been some murders out in California that may be related to the supernatural.”
“I wish you’d stop that,” Giles muttered as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Buffy replied innocently. “Anyway,” she said as she pointed her finger into the air, “Buffy Summers is always on the case!” She grabbed the file from his desk and skipped out of the room.
“I don’t like the looks of this, Andrew,” Giles said to the previously ignored man/boy. “You’d better keep an eye on Buffy.” After a moment, he added, “And keep her away from the cartoons this time. My patience is beginning to wear thin.”
“I read you loud and clear, Giles.” Andrew saluted and followed Buffy to wherever they were going.
Giles leaned his head against his desk and moaned, to no one in particular, “Why me?”
“So what do you think, Buffy?” Andrew asked. “Magical or mundane?”
Buffy and Andrew were crouched over the body of the so-called Cyclops Killer’s latest victim. It wasn’t the most gruesome sight either of the two had encountered, but the victim’s empty eye socket reminded them a bit too much of Xander’s, leading them to purposely ignore looking at it unless it was absolutely necessary.
“Mundane,” Buffy replied firmly. She pointed to a set of cuts between the victim’s ribs. “Do you see how clean these cuts are? They were made by some kind of knife, not demon claws.” She then pointed to the eye carved above the victim’s heart. “I’ve actually seen this ceremony before. You take the eyeball while the victim is still alive and then carve into his chest once he’s dead. Once you collect enough eyes, you can perform a ceremony that will give you some form of the second sight, depending on the specifics in the ritual.”
“Amazing! But doesn’t that point to this being a magical killing?” asked Andrew.
“It would if the ritual was performed correctly, but the incisions above the heart were made while the victim was still alive. It’s more than likely that whoever did this was working from a translation…”
“…Which no serious magic user would ever do,” Andrew finished. “So we’ve got a regular human trying to perform a magical ritual. Looks like we’re staying here for a few days.”
The two Council employees stood up and walked over to the FBI agents who were talking amongst themselves.
The police and FBI had learned long ago that when Buffy Summers comes to town, the investigation was hers. One word from her and a covert team would take over. The original investigating team never found out what actually happened despite any quite inquiries they made. Most organizations now accepted Buffy’s power over them with a minimum amount of grumbling.
Don Eppes met Buffy Summers two years previously in another case involving a murder with mystical elements. She was introduced as a psychological profiler specializing in murders with mystical elements and the Council’s representative to the United States. Supposedly, a team of special investigators from Homeland Security had solved the case and arrested the killer, but Don had never seen any proof. He didn’t appreciate it when the case was taken from him, but Buffy’s explanations made the transfer a bit better. They’d crossed paths twice more since then but he hadn’t had any more cased taken away.
When he noticed Buffy’s approach with her assistant, Don pulled away from the group of agents.
“Summers,” said Don, curiosity written all over his face.
“Eppes,” she replied, revealing nothing.
“So…” He didn’t want to seem desperate, but he was starting to get antsy. Antsy like Charlie with a great idea and no one to tell it to.
Buffy met the agent’s gaze for a minute, tilting her head to the side in thought.
“It’s all yours,” she said finally. She began to walk away before turning around to address him again. “I’ll bring you the profile tomorrow. ‘Til next time, Eppes.” She smirked at the agent and headed towards her car, Andrew trailing a step behind.
“I’ll get you next time, Summers,” Don shouted at the girl getting into the BMW, “NEXT TIME!”
“You’ll get her?” asked Colby, confused at his boss’s antics.
“I never took you for a cartoon watcher, Eppes,” added David.
“This is the FBI,” Don responded stiffly. “We don’t threaten people with references to cartoons from the 80s here!”
“But apparently we do threaten with 60s comedy series references,” said Megan.
“I had to compensate somehow,” Don replied guardedly as he folded his arms across his chest. “Would you believe she stole my Inspector Gadget DVD’s last time she was here?”