Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer
. They belong to Joss Whedon and Eric Kripke.
Notes: Written for Taming the Muse (prompt: colorless). I noticed that everyone always writes Jess as Buffy and Dawn's sister so I decided to switch it up a bit.
Sam had heard people say that the world had lost all color the day they lost their husband/wife/fiancé but he had never truly understood it. Until now.
It’d been two days since his world had turned upside down and inside out. Two days since he’d come home, fully expecting to find Jess in the shower only to find her pinned to the ceiling. Two days since the world had been anything but grey.
There’d been red for a bit. Rage like nothing he’d ever felt had flowed through him on that first night but then the memory of Jess’ face had managed to dull even that.
He looked up, noting the concern that Dean tried to hide, and tilted his head. “Yeah.”
Dean paused before continuing, his voice becoming all business in a way that was reassuring to Sam because it gave him something to focus on. “I’ve been asking around, trying to see if there were any signs.”
“Not many. Some electrical outages, things like that.” Dean looked like he’d rather be doing anything but delivering this news as he lowered himself to the curb next to Sam.
Sam nodded. “Dad?”
Dean shook his head. “Nothing.” He sighed at the look on Sam’s face. “Sam,” he said. “We’re going to find him. We will. We’ll find Dad and we’ll find the demon that killed Mom and Jess and we’ll kill the son of a bitch. I swear.”
“So it was a demon that killed my sister.”
Sam jumped and spun around as Dean tensed and turned in the direction of the voice. Sam stared at the man that he hadn’t seen in over a year.
“Xander,” he said. Xander nodded at him.
Before Xander could say anything else, Dean stepped forward. “Listen, I don’t know what you thought you heard but—“
“I know what I heard,” Xander interrupted. “So there’s no use in trying to come up with a cover story.” He looked at Sam and for a moment, his eye softened at the obvious grief there. “Never pegged you for a demon hunter.”
“I’m not,” Sam denied. He paused as he thought of the past weekend. “I wasn’t—“ He shook his head. “I was trying to get away from that life.” Next to him, Dean tensed.
The look Xander gave him was one full of understanding. “I’ve got a friend who tried that once. It didn’t really work out for her.” He looked towards the motel that he’d been told Sam was staying at with his brother. “Jess was doing the normal thing. She never knew it, of course, because I always managed to hide that sort of stuff from her.” Xander let out a breath, pushing away the thoughts that he might’ve saved her if she’d only known the truth about what was out there. He turned back towards Sam. “What happened?”
“I don’t think so,” Dean said. “We’re not telling you anything until you explain a few things yourself. Starting with how the hell you know about demons in the first place.”
Xander’s smile was grim. “You ever hear of the Hellmouth?” he asked. Sam straightened, his eyes widening a bit before he glanced at Dean, only to find a similar look on his face. They listened as Xander explained that Sunnydale had sat on the Hellmouth, that he’d been fighting demons since he was a sophomore in high school when one of his best friends had been killed.
“Jess didn’t know?” Sam asked quietly, once he’d finished explaining. Xander shook his head.
“Our dad wasn’t the nicest guy.” Off of Sam’s expression, Xander shook his head again. “He never hit Jess. But he drank a lot and he was a mean drunk. Mom, in one of her more sober moments, decided she didn’t want her daughter around that and asked our aunt and uncle if they’d be able to take her in. They did and Jess eventually changed her last name so that it was theirs.” He smiled, remembering the phone call over that and how Jess had wanted him to know that it wasn’t that she didn’t want to be his sister, she just needed that final step to get away from the memories. The happy shout of relief when he’d assured her that he understood had caused his ear to hurt for the better part of an hour. “Jessica Lee Harris became Jessica Lee Moore when she was a junior in high school.”
“She went crazy trying to get a hold of you when Sunnydale collapsed,” Sam said. A small part of him felt relief that he could talk about Jess to someone who had known her and loved her. Part of him was happy to let Dean in on this, to give him that glimpse of Jess so that he’d understand and a part of him wanted to keep it all to himself. He continued talking, offering the story up as a small comfort. “I don’t think I ever heard her swear as creatively as she did when she was threatening some poor phone operator and telling them what she’d do if they didn’t find her brother and put her through and fast.”
Dean let out a breath as Sam actually smiled for the first time in two days. He shifted, drawing Xander’s eye towards him. “The demon that killed Jess...it killed our mom when Sam was a baby.”
Xander stared at him for a moment and then took a deep breath. “I think you better start at the beginning.”