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Relative Importance

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Summary: While waiting in a London bar to meet with a new slayer, Giles encounters an odd woman who seems frighteningly familiar... A rare (from what I've seen) cross with Coupling

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > CouplingIgnotusFR1398,0000196,03619 Mar 0920 Mar 10Yes

Between a rock and a vampire

Notes: Here's the last chapter of this little bit of nonsense. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: All other notes and disclaimers are at the beginning of the story.



Xander wasn’t quite sure how he ended up sitting on a sofa in Jane’s apartment holding a glass of wine while sandwiched between Sally and Jane. To be honest, he would have found the situation far more comfortable if not for one very small fact.

Drusilla sat in the chair opposite him smirking that dreamy little smirk of hers while gently humming snippets of unidentifiable tunes under her nonexistent breath.

The last member of the party just then returned from her trip to the bathroom. “It was… interesting meeting you Drusilla but I really should be getting home to Steve.”

Drusilla smiled. “It was nice meetin’ you too, Susie. Do tell Steve there aren’t any hard feelings.”

Susan smiled tightly at the nickname but refrained from commenting. “I’ll do that.”

Once she had gone, Sally sighed.

“As much as I’d love to stay,” she smiled brightly at Xander, “I have to be going too.”

Xander’s eye widened as he realised that would leave him quite alone with Drusilla and her niece. Desperately wanting to delay being left with them, he asked Sally to stay.

“Are you sure you have to go?” He smiled nervously, single eye flitting towards Drusilla who still wore that special smile of hers. “I was having fun discussing the genius that is Terry Pratchett with you.”

Sally grinned.

“I’m afraid I do, but…” Grabbing a pen from the coffee table and forgoing paper, she wrote her phone number on his palm. “Do give me a ring if you want talk about books, or anything at all really.”

As she grabbed her coat and purse, Xander nearly whimpered. Why had he left his axe in the car?

“I won’t bite, you know.”

Xander whipped his head around as Drusilla spoke. Gulping, he said, “Somehow, I find that hard to believe.”

Drusilla only laughed.

“Don’t worry, she won’t,” Jane assured him. “She said she won’t. So, she won’t. She may be a vampire with a craving for blood, death and wanton destruction, but she never goes against her word.” Jane tilted her head to the side. After a moments thought, she added, “Not without a really good reason anyway.”

Xander was not at all reassured.

“Right, well, if that’s the case, I’ll just, uh, wish you two a good evening and be on my way.” Xander rose carefully, keeping an eye on Drusilla the whole time. “It was nice meeting you Jane.”

“Now, now,” Drusilla said. “You just got here, no need to leave so quickly. Don’t you want to ask me things?”

Jane tugged on his arm and brought back down beside her on the sofa.

“Isn’ that why they left you there?” she continued. “To watch me and find out what unholy deeds I was up to?”

“Er, well, I suppose.” This night was not going at all like Xander had thought.

“Ask away then.” Drusilla sat back in her chair and folded her hands in her lap, waiting.

“Right.” What exactly was he supposed to ask? He gathered that most important question really was, “Why? I mean, the family thing. Isn’t it normal procedure for a vampire to kill their remaining family.” Turning to Jane, he quickly explained, “It’s not like I’m saying she should’ve because then you wouldn’t exist, and you seem like a very nice woman. Very deserving of existing.”

Jane laughed. “I know what you meant.”

Drusilla smiled and answered, “Yes, it is. But while I loved my daddy, he took everything I had away from me. I liked knowing I still had family out there.”

* * * * *

“That’s it?” Buffy asked. “She just sat there and answered your questions?”

A thoroughly relieved to be safe and sound Xander nodded. “Yeah, it was weird. She seemed… well, it was still her, but it didn’t really seem like her.”

Giles frowned from behind his desk. “I honestly don’t know what to think about this situation. I’d almost say leave them alone but this is Drusilla we are dealing with.”

“Exactly,” Buffy agreed. “Which has me wondering why I’m not sitting in front of that apartment with a team of junior slayers, waiting for Drusilla to come out so we can have a practical lesson.”

“Listen, believe me when I say I know who this is we’re talking about,” Xander said. “But I really think we should just leave it alone. She’s not up to anything. As far as any of us can tell, she’s just visiting her niece, Jane.” He couldn’t really believe he was arguing for letting Drusilla go. “I mean, if this was some evil plot, or if she was trying to kill anybody, that would be something different.”

Buffy stared at him in disbelief. “Are you actually saying we should just ignore her?”

“No,” he said quickly. “I just think we should sit back and wait until we see something bad. And then do the staking thing.”

“As odd as it sounds, I agree with Xander,” Giles said.

Buffy shook her head. “Fine, but it’ll be on your heads if she pulls anything while here. And I’m having her watched at all times while here.”

“Of course,” Giles said.

Xander nodded in agreement as well. It would be good to keep track of Drusilla. He glanced down at the phone number written on his palm. Sally was very nice. Attractive too. Maybe he should give her a call sometime... You know, since it would be far simpler keeping track of Drusilla if there was someone with inside information.

Yes, that was the only reason.

* * * * *

“Did Susie give you my message?”

Steve choked on his drink. He turned around sharply, sloshing some of his beer over his hand. “Drusilla! It’s, uh, well, it’s nice to see you again! How are you?”

Drusilla smiled and drifted around the couch. Her eyes alighted on his two companions and she introduced herself.

“Hello, I’m Jane’s aunt.” She held out her hand to the one in the chair beside her first.

Patrick grinned at her flirtatiously. He rose and took her proffered hand, kissing the back of it. “I must say, it’s a pleasure to meet you Drusilla. I’m Patrick.”

Drusilla giggled. “I think not mister donkey man.”

Patrick sat back down with a frown. Drusilla took back her hand and shook the extended hand next to Steve.

“I’m Jeff,” the man said. “Steve was right about you looking more like a sister to Jane. Can I ask how old you are?”

Steve and Patrick groaned. They knew Jeff was bad with woman but they each thought he’d have more sense than to ask a woman her age.

“A hundred and sixty or thereabouts.” She answered with that dreamy smile that Steve remembered very well. “I sort of lost count after the first century.”

Jeff blinked at the answer.

Drusilla turned her attention back to Steve. “I was just comin’ to say hello and that there weren’ any hard feelings about you breakin’ Jane’s heart. She’s explained everythin’ to me and said that I really don’t need to go stringin’ you up by your manly bits, beat you to death with a shovel and then make sock puppets out of your entrails.”

All three men winced at the mental imagery.

“Well, uh, thank god for that?” Steve said uncertainly.

Drusilla grinned maliciously. “No. Thank Jane for that. But one can hope she might change her mind one day.”

Steve gulped. Drusilla held the grin as she sauntered past the men and eventually out of the bar.

“So that was Jane’s aunt,” Patrick mused.

Jeff smiled. “She seemed like a very lovely woman.”

A pale Steve turned to his two friends. “Was it just me, or did her eyes turn yellow for just a moment?”

They stared at him.

Eventually, Patrick broke the silence. “Thank god you saw that too. I thought the beer had gone to my head.”

Jeff nodded and took a large gulp out of his glass.

* * * * *

Drusilla watched from the aft of the ship as they passed out of sight of the coast. It had felt good going home again. She would definitely have to do it again sometime. The week spent with Jane and her friends was ever so much fun. It was too bad she had to leave so soon but there were things she had to take care of in America if her spur of the moment decision was going to go smoothly.

She was moving back home to England.

She expected there would be many difficulties, especially since one of the Council’s main offices was located in London where she planned to settle. But she wanted to be closer to her niece for a bit.

This had been the first time they’d seen one another since two years before she and Spike had moved to Sunnydale. Sure, there had been chats on the phone, but those had been few and far between. She wanted to catch up more thoroughly with Jane. And her friends. They seemed like a really lovely bunch.

The stars spoke of her choice to relocate being a good one. Miss Edith though expressed reservations concerning the Council, but Drusilla trusted the stars to guide her rightly.

She giggled suddenly as she thought of Steve and his reaction to her moving. She glanced up and saw the stars twinkling with mirth at the thought as well.

The End

The End

You have reached the end of "Relative Importance". This story is complete.

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