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The one your parents warned you about…

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Story

Summary: As if dead marines weren’t enough, now Tony had to deal with aliens, demons and amorous 51th century men… (Gibbs/Tony, Jack/Ianto, Spike/Xander)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Multiple PairingsmotschekiebFR1827,4472132,7452 Apr 0929 Apr 09No

Part 1

Title: The one your parents warned you about… (1/?)
Author Name: motschekiebchen



Rating: FR18
Category: Crossover (NCIS, Torchwood, Buffy), Romance
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Gibbs/Tony, Jack/Ianto, Spike/Xander
Warnings: violence, blood and gore (a little bit)

Summary:
Written for the challenges at ncis_slash (LJ)
As if dead marines weren’t enough, now Tony had to deal with aliens, demons and amorous 51th century men…
The story is set in the NCIS-‘verse two weeks after “Agent Afloat”, in the Torchwood-‘verse four months after season 2 finale and Buffy-‘verse five years after series finale.

Spoilers:
NCIS up to “6.02 Agent Afloat”, Torchwood up to season 2 finale, Buffy up to series finale.

Disclaimer:
Everything NCIS belongs to DP Bellisario, CBS, Paramount, et al., Torchwood to RT Davies, BBC and Buffy to J Whedon, Mutant Enemy. No money made, no copyright infringement is intended.

Author’s Notes:
I blame half of the story on mjswrtings. I tell her about one little challenge and she keeps feeding the bunnies (As thank you they tell her stories about demons, aliens and lovesick agents.)








Present Time


"I hate Mondays!" Tony DiNozzo, senior agent of an NCIS team, stared in horror at the burning wreck of what was once an NCIS vehicle. Gibbs was gonna kill him!

The young man to the left of him didn’t seem impressed. “Nah! It’s an Apocalypse Day, that means it’s Tuesday.”

“You’re both wrong. It’s Wednesday.” The man in a suit, on Tony’s right, corrected.



*###*###*###*



Seven days earlier


Tony DiNozzo was happy. He was back where he belonged, with his team, and after two weeks being back, the happiness was still with him. It wasn’t dimmed by the new case they got this very morning. A sergeant was found dead behind a seedy bar in Washington DC. Ok, that was sad but on the other hand… he was back in Washington, DC! In his rightful place as Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ senior agent! Yes, maybe he was a little too happy, but Tony chalked that up to the last vestiges of cabin fever. He had been stuck on that damn boat for 4 ½ months, separated from the people he had chosen as his family. He had the right to be kind of giddy.

The body had been found by a passer-by who then called the police. After identifying the dead man as a marine, further investigations were delegated to an NCIS team.

Finding out the dead man’s identity, one Zachary Winters, wasn’t difficult with his wallet intact and driver's license and other ID still inside. A quick search detailed his recent work history. Winters had just come back from his second tour of duty as Marine Security Guard. During the tour he was stationed at the embassy in London, Great Britain.

While Abby still was occupied with the examination of the evidence and Ducky with the body, Gibbs ordered everyone else to Winters’ house. The yield was scanty. They found a paper on which was written the time and the name of the bar the body was found behind. Excluding rich relatives or lottery winnings, the discrepancies between his salary and his shopping habits were enormous. The house was equipped with the newest electronic toys, and the wardrobe had designer clothes. In the garage, they found a car that made Tony go “Wow!” - a brand-new black Aston Martin Vanquish, and then caused him to carry on a lecture about James Bond and his cars.

Investigations into his financials brought one of the possible more helpful tips. Abby and Tim had found links to a second bank account in Switzerland under a different name. Following the money trail lead the team to Great Britain and, of all the things, to a shop in Cardiff. That was how Tony and Ziva found themselves on a flight to London then a car ride to Cardiff to interview the shop manager.



*###*###*###*



Five days earlier


Tony and Ziva arrived in London in the morning, went to the local NCIS office and requisitioned one of their cars to go to Cardiff. After a 3 hour drive, with Tony trying to get used to driving on the wrong side of traffic, they arrived in the city and went looking for the shop.

They finally found it on a small side-street… and weren’t impressed.

“So, this is it?” Tony wasn’t sure what to think about the shop, but it confirmed one thing in his mind; you couldn’t legally earn as much money as their dead Marine had in a place like this. The shop was apparently into that whole New Age business. On the windows was written in big letters ‘Misspent Youth’ and under it in smaller ones ’Days of Wine, Roses and Mischief’. The shop looked dark, but they could see someone moving inside. Tony exchanged a look with Ziva; it wouldn’t do any good to stay standing around outside. He opened the door, and both went inside.

It WAS somber in the shop. One wall was covered with books. In a corner, he could see amulets, pendulums, jewelry and beads. In front of the other wall were shelves that held statues, bowls, herbs, oils, rune sets, gemstones, crystals and candles of all kinds. A stray thought crossed Tony’s mind, ’Huh, no crystal balls and tarot cards.’

No-one was in sight, so they went deeper in the shop and came to a stop in front of the till. “Hello, someone here?” Ziva called out.

At first, there wasn’t any answer, but then they heard a groan coming from the backroom. It sounded painful. Alarmed, they looked at one another, grabbed their weapons and carefully inched forward. At the door to the backroom, Tony and Ziva stopped. A quick, furious yet silent conversation held by hand signals ended with Tony cautiously looking into the room and Ziva giving him cover. At first, he didn’t see anything, or maybe his brain couldn’t process what he saw. In front of a desk, a man, wearing a jumpsuit was crouched over another man. Of the laying man Tony could only see a tuff of blonde hair and his feet, because he was hidden behind and under the man in the jumpsuit, whose face was at the blonde’s neck, turned away from them. The crouching man made alternating slurping and growling noises.

“Hey you! NCIS, United States of America. Stand up, and keep your hands where I can see them!” Tony called out, pointing his weapon in the man’s direction.

The man looked up at Tony’s call and growled at them. His face was covered by a horror mask and painted in gore and blood. Tony’s thoughts came to an abrupt stop. That didn’t make sense. If he had a mask on, how could he bite the man’s throat?

Tony moved forward a little, Ziva following in his shadow. Now that he was closer, he could discern that what he thought was a mask, was in fact the face of the man, a horrible deformed face but a face none the less.

Tony repeated his order “Stand up!”… and got no reaction again. Risking a short glance at Ziva, he motioned to her that he would go to the man. He went to the two men, careful to let the deformed man stay in his line of sight but at the same time staying out of Ziva’s line of fire.

He was only two steps away and could see the victim more clearly now. Tony didn’t see any signs that the victim was still alive. His throat was ripped to shreds, as was one half of his face. It was a horrendous sight.

Tony was a bit preoccupied by the gore and that nearly cost him his life. His only warnings were a deep growl and a shot. One second later he was laying on the ground, Ziva had one shot less in her weapon and the man, - no, creature, no way in hell could that thing be human - crouched over him, apparently unhurt and entirely unimpressed with the one weapon pressed into his stomach and the second aimed at his head. It growled and snapped its teeth at Tony, trying to get a good bite at him and rip him into shreds too. Tony didn’t wait till it reached his goal. There was no way he wanted to end up like the guy lying on the floor a few feet away. Fortunately, he still had his weapon. It was jammed between them, and with no effort Tony pointed it upwards and pulled the trigger.

The thing gave a short grunt of pain but didn’t seem to react to the injury other than to intensify its attack at Tony. They were rolling on the ground, Tony trying to get away, and the creature trying to get a bite out of Tony.

“Ziva,…” his call for help was interrupted by several new people appearing. Two men had entered from the backdoor, and seconds later a woman materialized behind Ziva.

All three were brunettes and wore dark clothes in differing styles. The woman had long, dark hair, brown eyes and wore black jeans, a dark shirt with a print on it. Over the ensemble, she wore a black jacket. Both men had blue eyes and were approximately the same height, but their clothing style was very different. One man wore a dark blue suit with a red shirt and a striped tie. The other man wore grey pants a light blue shirt with an undershirt peeking out from underneath. Over it, he was wearing a military type coat that was such an old style it was now retro. The woman had her weapon pointed at Ziva while the man in the suit had his pointed at the thing tussling with Tony. Military Coat didn’t lose any time. He strode to the two on the ground, told Tony to shut his eyes and took a spray can from his pocket. Tony felt wet drops on his skin, and the creature over him collapsing.

When he opened his eyes again, the man was leaning comfortably on the door frame, hands in his pockets and smiling broadly at him. “I was told there’s a party here, but with only you four,” he glanced at the body on the ground and corrected, “three here, and even if this one was misbehaving,…” he pointed to the thing “seems a bit lame. I had hoped for more entertainment this afternoon.”

Tony made sure the thing was out, and then he shoved it to get out from under it. But after standing up, he couldn’t stop himself from prodding it with his foot. There was no reaction from the creature. It was time to concentrate on other issues now, for example who his rescuers were.

“Hi, name’s Tony DiNozzo, that’s Ziva David. We’re with NCIS.” He throw them a broad grin, sure they wouldn’t know what the abbreviation meant. “Thanks for the timely assist. I guess I owe you my life. Not that Ziva wouldn’t have saved me. She would hit me and hurt me in places I couldn’t begin to think of if I even implied that she couldn’t have. No, I would never say anything. I like my body parts where they belong. Thank you very much.”

Tony, searching for a way to stop his babbling, looked to the man with the gun and told him, “Like the suit, by the way.” With a grimace, he glanced down his own suit– now smeared with blood and other things he didn’t want to think about any time soon. “To whom do I send the ‘Thank you for the assistance’-card?”

Military Coat seemed to find him amusing but also was apparently confused. He looked at the guy in the suit and cocked an eyebrow in question, asking him, “NCIS?”

Suit seemed better educated than expected. Before Tony could throw the answer in the conversation, he already told it to Military Coat. “Naval Criminal Investigative Service, Sir, out of America. They investigate crimes against or perpetrated by Naval and Marine personnel.”

“I love a man in uniform.” Smiling sleazily at Tony, Military Coat looked him over - slowly. “Or in a dirty suit or a suit anyway... or even better no clothing at all.” He sounded a bit lost in remembrance at the end.

“Careful, Sir. There is still that pesky ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’-policy in the United States military.” Suit was quick to point out to him unhappily.
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