I got this idea from the hilarious fake trailer Satan’s Alley
that comes before Tropic Thunder
, in which Robert Downey Jr.’s character (the actor Kirk Lazarus) plays a monk in love with another monk played by Tobey Maguire. That led to many jokes about Spiderman dating Iron Man, which in turn led me to write this Spiderman/Iron Man slash. THEN I found the movie Wonder Boys
where the two actors played lovers again, leading to even more jokes. Hope you enjoy!!
The story title is, obviously, a play on/homage to the Beatles song "She Came In Through the Bathroom Window." DISCLAIMER
I don’t own Spiderman or Iron Man. The lovely people at Marvel do.
The mansion that sat high on the Malibu cliffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean was dark. Below, waves lapped noisily against the rocks and the full moon shimmered on the water. It would have been a peaceful night.
A shadowy figure broke the calm by springing onto the roof from the gloom that surrounded the house. He crawled across the tiles, heading for one of the large windowed walls.
Inside, Tony Stark lay sleeping peacefully in his king-sized bed. He heard nothing as the intruder crept slowly across the ceiling, intent on finding a way into the house. The mansion’s security system was down, its computerized operator JARVIS going through a scheduled maintenance upgrade. Tony had never felt vulnerable in his house and never hesitated to leave the household systems off for a night.
He did not stir in his sleep as the dark figure come closer and closer to where he lay. The house did not creak – Tony had designed in infrastructure himself to be immune to the normal sounds of settling.
The figure slowly opened a window that led into the bathroom off of the master bedroom. He climbed inside, clinging to the ceiling, and let the window blow closed behind him.
In the bed, Tony sat up with a start. “Hello?”
There was nothing. Turning on the light on his nightstand, he threw off the sheet and stood up beside his bed. “Who’s there?”
He sounded unconcerned, but inside he was uneasy. All of his weaponry was down in the workroom or hidden away with his armor. If this intruder intended to harm him, he was on his own.
The voice seemed to come out of nowhere. “A visitor.”
A smirk tugged at the corner of Tony’s mouth. “No kidding. What do you want?”
The voice was suddenly on the other side of the room. “I just wanted to see the house of the famous Tony Stark.”
Tony raised an eyebrow suspiciously as he looked up toward the ceiling. Then he smiled. “Because you’ve never been here before.”
The shadow of a man crept across the ceiling into the pool of light cast by the small bedside lamp. “You know I like to remind myself.”
Relieved but unwilling to show it, Tony sat back on the bed nonchalantly. “Spiderman,” he said.
Spiderman leapt lightly down from where he clung to the ceiling and stood in the middle of Tony’s bedroom. “Iron Man.”
“And to what do I owe this surprise, late-night visit?” Tony asked, glancing at the clock with a raised eyebrow.
Spiderman took a step toward the bed. “My editor sent me on assignment to Los Angeles.” He reached up and pulled his mask off. “I thought I’d stop by,” Peter Parker said.
“You could have called,” Tony said casually. “What if I’d had other visitors?”
Peter smirked. “Like who?”
Tony stood up and grabbed the gloved hand, pulling Peter to him. “I knew when your plane landed,” he whispered. “Took you long enough to get here.”
Peter kissed him hard and pulled the webbed gloves off. Tony tried to help remove skintight suit, but after a moment he sighed in frustration. “How many times have I told you to trade in this leotard for armor?”
Peter laughed “Not my style.”
“Well?” Tony asked. “Get it off!”
Tony’s pajama pants were much easier to remove than the aerodynamic blue and red suit and it was not long before both men fell back onto Tony’s bed. “Your bathroom window’s open,” Peter whispered as he slipped under the satin sheets.
“Only because you left it that way,” Tony replied. “Jarvis would not be pleased.”
Peter pouted. “Jarvis doesn’t like me.”
Laughing, Tony shrugged. “He’s protective.” Playfully, he pushed Peter over and got into bed next to him, wrapping him in his arms.
Kissing him again, Peter said, “Iron Man might consider making an appearance in New York once and a while.”
“Why would he when they have Spiderman to protect them?”
Peter replied, “Because sometimes it would be nice for you to have to climb in through the bathroom window.”
Tony’s muscles tightened as Peter slid his hands down underneath the blanket. And then there was no more talking.