What I Wanted
Disclaimer: Anything Buffy belongs to Joss, and anthing Twilight belongs to Stephanie.
I need you…stay with me…
I do need him, but in reality you know that it’s not him that was leaving, it was me. I’m fading, and fading fast…I always thought that when I died I would see my life. Watch all the bad things I did, watch all the people I saved. But in reality, all I could see was colors.
They flashed in front of my eyes, obscuring my view of him. It would be that last time I would look at him, and I could not see him.
“Stay with me, stay with me, baby.”
His voice, normally low and deep, was pleading. I wanted nothing more than to open my eyes and look at him, but I knew it would not happen.
I wanted to smile at him; one last time.
I wanted to tell him that everything would be okay.
Deep down I knew that was not true. It wouldn’t be okay, not if I wasn’t there. It would never be okay if I wasn’t there. He would waste away, maybe he could imprint again? I think not.
It had been nearly four years since I had crash landed here in La Push, and I wanted more than anything to be able to stay here for longer. I want to taste Emily’s food one more time. I wanted to walk along the beach once more, and watch the tide come in, and then go out. I wanted to sit on the cliff with my Seth. Oh, how I wanted that; that and so much more.
So much more that I would never have.
I wondered as I lay there in his arm, bleeding out, if it would have been better to have never come here. I never would have met these people, it was true, I never would have had to feel the pain of letting them go.
No, I would not take back the last four year, not for anything.
Seth was holding on to me tightly, crying into my hair. He was whimpering and sobbing. He would have to be strong with out me. That was all there was to it.
He would have to live with out me.
My hair was wet, and I didn’t know if it was blood or Seth’s tears.
I wanted to talk to him, tell him everything would be alright. Wanted to smile, and reassure him.
And I was back to that, it was like I was traveling in circles. And now I was back to what I wanted. Soon though it wouldn’t matter what I wanted, soon, oh so soon I would be gone. I hoped that B was right when she said there was a heaven, though I didn’t know if I would be getting in or not. I hoped that I would, because I knew that Seth would, and I wanted to be with him again some day.
The pain in my back and stomach, were becoming unbearable. I could hear the other wolves around us, and I knew that it was only a matter of time until I died. It felt like day’s had passed, but I knew it had only be a few seconds.
Paul curled up against my other side, he laid his heavy wolf head down on my chest. I wish I could have looked at him one more time. Great now I was resorting to wishing, I knew that was a bad idea. At least I hadn’t said that out loud. Who knew how messed up the world would be if my wish came true?
I was starting to get tired, I knew what was coming, this was the time when I would close my eyes and never open them again.
“I love you,” I gasped out with my last breath of air.
As my eyes drifted closed, the last thing I heard was ear splitting howl’s from the wolves around me. And my Seth’s sobs.
I found myself in a bright white room; I had to blink a few times. It was very bright.
“Ah, Faith, we have been waiting for you,” a voice said from behind me.
I whipped around.
A beautiful man stood next to an equally beautiful woman. The man had long blonde hair that framed a strong jaw and bright blue eyes. He was not wearing a shirt, and from where I stood, I could see the large white wings. Looking at the woman I could see her wings also, she was not wearing shirt ether, but what mesmerized me was that she had was looked like feathers covering her breasts.
I sighed slightly, I didn’t feel worthy of being in their presence.
“Now, Faith, Our Father loves us all equally. Never feel unworthy of anything,” the woman said, walking closer. She brushed my brown hair from my face, and slipped her arm around my waist. It was then that I noticed that I was not wearing anything on the top half of my body.
I looked down, to see that like the woman, I had on a white flowing skirt that brushed the floor and flowed out at the back. And that my chest was bare, except for the feathers covering my breasts.
I looked back up at the man and woman with a question in my eyes. What am I?
“You, my dear, are an angel. Our Father has made you an Angel,” the man said.
“Let me guess, your name is Gabriel?” I asked sarcastically.
“No I am Elijah, and this is Emma. We were once what Seth and you are,” Elijah told her.
This made me flinch slightly. Seth, how was he?
“That will be your one and only assignment,” Emma said softly.
“What?” Faith asked quietly.
“You will go to Seth, and watch over him. It will be simple, only he will be able to see you, to touch you. You may do what you like with this information. But remember that you are not alive, and will not truly be with him until he passes on.”
I listened intently, and turned to looked around the white room.
“How do I get back?” I asked quietly.
“Those,” Elijah said, pointing behind me.
I turned but didn’t see anything.
“The wings,” Emma said softly.
I could feel my eyes grow large. Wings? I turned my head as far as I could, and saw out of the corner of my eye white wings. They protruded from my back, as if they had always been there.
And maybe they had, maybe they had just been waiting for the right moment to spring forth?