Title: Slayer hotline

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire slayer, I am not making any money of this fanfic, don’t sue me.

Author: Sio

Rating: Fr-7

Warning: this is nonsense
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Slayer Hotline

Thank you for calling the Slayer Hotline of the New Watchers Council, this call may be monitored for quality control and training purposes.

For watcher’s support please press 1

For slayer support please press 2

For Xander to come fix something that you have broken please press 3

For pizza delivery please press 4

….

Thank you for pressing 2, If you know the extension of the department you would like to contact please type it in now….

For the department dealing with demons please press one 1

For the department dealing with Androids, robots and cyborgs demon and otherwise please press 2

For the department dealing with homicidal slayer and/or watchers please press 3

For the department dealing with witches, warlocks, sorcerers, mages, and magicians please press 4

For the department dealing with prophetic dreams please press 5

For the department dealing with prophesies please press 6

For the department dealing with Hell Gods, Old ones, and demon like Gods please press 7

For the department dealing with dry cleaning please press 8

For the department dealing with resurrection and/or zombies please press 9

For the department dealing with alternate dimensions, realities and universes please press 10….

For the department dealing with Andrew please press 3987

….

Thank you for pressing 3987, transferring you now.

…..

You have reached the department dealing with Andrew

To talk to a real person please press 1 now.

……

Thank you for pressing one, Your call will be connected in the order it was received, please hold, your call is important to us.

Thank you for holding….

Thank you for holding….

Thank you for holding….

*Ring ring ring- click*

Thank you for calling the department dealing with Andrew, we are extremely busy at the moment, or we are all out. Deal with him yourself Mwahahahahahaha!

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A/N: I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did thinking it up!