The Lycan In Me
Notes: For the purposes of this story, the vampires of the Underworld
movie will be portrayed as the same species as the vampires of BTVS.
Part One-The Lycan In Me
My neck itched every now and then. Just a twinge, right where I had been bitten the first time. It didn't make sense to me, and to none of the other lycans. They had never experienced any such sensation after their first full moon. I was onto my fifth full moon by now, and still, every now and then, it itched.
I swallowed a bit, ignoring the sensation just below my right ear. Maybe I was just overthinking it. It seemed to me that my empathy often left me feeling odd physically. My skin sometimes felt like it was alive, crawling over the surface of the my body. It could very well be that the itch was just one of those reactions, something that I imagined when the empathy got a little too much to handle.
Of course, that explanation never worked if I thought of when my neck itched.
Slowly, I skimmed my hand over the spot, trying to be discreet since I had company in my room tonight. Just as always, my hand moved over smooth, warm skin, not even a scar remaining from the bite that had changed my life so much. And yet, it itched.
A low growl informed me that my guest saw my actions. I dropped my hand quickly, bowing my head because I knew that it made him kind of irritated when I did that. Michael was always unhappy when I mentioned that phantom sensation, most likely because he knew as well as I that I only felt it when he was around.
My sire didn't like that at the least.
That's what he is, you know. My sire. I'm fully aware that "sire" is a term usually reserved for vampire relations, but it worked with Michael as well. Maybe because he was half vampire, I'll never know. But after I had been bitten and taken into his home, I suddenly felt like he would be it. The deciding factor in my life from here on out would be Michael. I would never be free of him, not sure that I would ever want to be. Michael was the source of my power, the source of my strength. He made me into the creature that I am today.
And I kind of loved him in spite of that.
I dropped my hands into my lap, wringing them slightly as I waited on him. I know why he insists on doing this all the time. It would be safer for me, especially if I was in battle. But acknowledging that fact is so much easier than giving into it. I don't know why I felt like I did and Michael was so determined to change my feelings.
I just wished I could stop myself from feeling that fear he detested so much.
I heard him take a step closer to my bed. I stiffened almost immediately, taking deep breaths in order to calm myself. Michael usually did not make me this frightened, but there were times when he did. Especially when he was in his Other form.
Buffy thought it was some sort of post-traumatic shock response, which I was kind of inclined to agree with sometimes. I never had a problem with demon-like creatures before. I had seen things more frightening that Michael in his Other form before in my life. I had soundly defeated things that looked much scarier than Michael ever would, demon form or not.
And yet, I could not look my sire in the eye when he was Changed.
I heard him come to a stop, just before the edge of my bed. The mattress dipped when he joined me on it. Panic entered my mind and I scooted back just a bit. But he grabbed my arm, keeping me in place. I knew what he wanted me to do, even though he didn't say a thing. Michael hardly ever talked once he was Changed, but everyone always knew what he wanted.
And right now, he wanted me to be still.
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and willing myself not to cry. Michael drew me closer to himself and I tried to think of him in his human form. I bit my tongue to keep myself from crying when my hand touched his arm, feeling the muscles twitching beneath the surface. I let him guide my hand up, sliding over the tough when warm skin of his body. I kept my eyes closed the entire time, unable to open them to look directly at him.
I'd scream if I had to look at him this way.
My breath was coming out in ragged gasps, but I let him bring my hand to his face. I cupped his cheek, knowing that I had to swallow this irrational fear. Michael would never hurt me intentionally, he would never hurt anyone intentionally. It was only in those few beginning moments of the Change did he seem to lose his control. We all knew to keep our distance from him during that time, me especially. And once the Change was complete, he was focused and controlled once more.
I clenched my other fist tight, giving only the slightly jump when I felt his face skim the exposed part of my shoulder. He gave an unhappy growl and I whimpered in apology. All was forgiven, I think, and he continued on his way, burying his face in my neck, clawed hands in my hair. He wrapped up in his embrace entirely and pulled me onto his lap. I was pressed flush against him, listening to the comforting noises he made for my benefit.
It took all my power not to thrash and scream at this point. I bit down on my lip, trying desperately not to cry. It would not only make Michael mad, but it would hurt him as well. Michael would never understand why out of all his children, I reacted the way I did. And considering I was one of the first he had ever Turned, my fear seemed to hurt him more. I knew that I was Michael's favourite, everyone knew that. Selene pointed it out enough, going out of her way to make sure that out of all the lycans, I was the most protected. Michael was dear to Selene and therefore, what mattered to Michael mattered to Selene.
And I was one of the very few things that did matter, though I couldn't tell you why. Michael had a soft spot for me which had nothing to do with Buffy's repeated threats on his life should anything bad befall me. It was odd, but comforting.
His hands were trailing down my back, causing me to arch my spine slightly. I took a deep breath, biting harder on my lip. I was starting to shake badly. My lip was bleeding due to my biting and I could taste the coppery fluid filling my mouth. The scent of blood cut through the air, causing Michael to gasp in shock.
Tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes as I felt him pull back. Soft fingers brushed up against my bloody lips and I finally opened my eyes again. Michael smiled sadly at me, his human visage back in place. I felt myself give a sigh of relief, shame suddenly filling me when I realized that I had freaked out again.
"I'm sorry," I muttered, hanging my head. Michael sighed, moving up the bed to sit on my left side. His arm went around my waist, easily pulling me right into his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder, more at ease now that Michael was back to human form.
"At least you didn't scream this time," he consoled me, affectionately nuzzling my hair for a second. "It's progress."
"I shouldn't be acting like this at all," I replied dejectedly.
"You feel how you feel," Michael shrugged. "It's okay Willow, you'll get past it."
"Soon," he laughed, rubbing his hand up and down my arm. "But now, I think you've had enough for today. Go on, your friends are waiting for you. I think they want to go to the movies or something."
"Is it okay if I go?" I asked carefully. He looked me right in the eye, a dangerous glint flashing through them.
"If it wasn't, I wouldn't allow them near this house. It's okay Willow, go have fun with your friends."
I nodded, sliding off his lap and rising up from the bed. I made for the door, pausing to grab my jacket from on top of my dresser before stepping out of my room. Michael didn't follow, instead stretching out leisurely on my bed. I knew what it meant. He would be here when I got back.
I barely contained the shiver of anticipation that crept up my spine. I couldn't deny that I felt something for Michael, something that went beyond that of loyalty to one's sire. There was something infinitely exciting about having Michael in my bed, something was laced with dangerous undertones. I had no idea what he truly was. Sure I had heard the rumours, but I didn't actually know. I don't think anyone really did. The extent of his power, the extent of his importance was beyond anyone's ability to grasp. And sometimes I was just awed to have him around me.
That and he was really good in bed.
And I mean REALLY good.
I had much to look forward to tonight.