How alcohol saved the Asgard from Replicators
Disclaimer in Prologue
Chapter 4: How alcohol saved the Asgard from Replicators
Jack was walking down a corridor in the SGC when he heard his favorite space monkey shout “Jack wait up.” He turned and saw Daniel and Sam coming towards him.
“Daniel, Carter, so what do you think of those kids? Aren’t they great? Giving us all that naquadah and also taking the Tok’Ra off their high horse. If only we knew something about them. Want to join me when I ask the general to see their files?”
“Sure but first Sam and I were wondering what was with that giggling in the control room?”
“Giggling? I have no idea what you are talking about.” He tried to say with a straight face.
“Sir you were giggling.” Sam joined in
“Indeed you were.” Said the last member of SG1 from behind Jack
“T! Don’t sneak up on me. Guys I may have laughed a little but I was not giggling and not another word on it. Ah! Ah!” he stopped Daniel as he was about to speak.
In the Generals office Jack was the first to speak.
“Sir, when are we going to tell them that we are using the Antarctic gate and tell them to take a hike?”
“They know, and we are not. The treaty states that if we lose the gate we have to replace it or else pay a very heavy penalty, which was retroactive. Also, if we pay the penalty then we may lose their expertise and we want to keep them for all they know.” Hammond replied.
“Sir, just who are these kids?” Now Jack was almost ranting “They come in here saying the own the gate the have knowledge of the Tok’Ra and that alien crystal thing. I get that we are still in charge of all off world things but just how in hell did they get so much power over everything that is brought back through the gate?”
“SG1 I knew that you would have these questions. Heck, I’ve wanted to know the same things. Major Davis brought some files with him. You have been authorized to see these files. I suggest you all go and see him before we continue this discussion as some of what you will read and see it is quite unbelievable. Now how are the devices that the Tok’Ra brought working?”
“Sir, no changes yet.”
“Anise stated that they may take time to adjust to our physiology.” Sam interjected.
“That is reassuring. Oh you might be interested in knowing that a replacement will be brought in for Ms Rosenberg, she will not be part of the NWC permanent presence on this base.” Hammond added
Daniel voiced his concern “So they still have first view at all artifacts, languages and life forms brought through the gate?”
“Yes, if they deem them to be non-threatening then they will be allowed onto the base, but the NWC has veto rights. I have their word that they will not be using their veto to interfere with normal activities on the base, only in emergencies. SG1 I suggest you go to see the Major.”
Xander finally convinced Willow that she was reading too much into things.
She was so overdramatic about other peoples supposed romances, seeing them everywhere since her own breakup with the accountant dude.
Here is to hoping she never noticed the actual person who caught his eye.
Oh well, time to test his poker face in the card game.
“You blew up your town?” Jack yelled.
SG1 had just burst in on Willow and Xander while they were playing cards. The broken door was quite impressive.
“Um no, we sort of closed an inter-dimensional portal that leads to a hell. When it closed the town sort of collapsed.” Willow trailed off looking sheepish.
“And you!” he continued now staring at Willow “You tried to end the world?”
Xander replied in a raised voice. “Hey she was in a bad place and she’s better now. We forgave her, and you have Teal’c. Wasn’t he like the General for one of the big bad Goa'uld? No offence meant Teal’c.”
“None taken Xander Harris.”
“I want to talk to you about what we have read.” Jack cut in again in a calmer voice.
“Now Colonel? I see you are wearing the armband. It is working well. Can I have a new door?” Xander said indicating the wreckage.
“Yeah but it will have to wait will after our ‘talk’.” He said while making air quotes.
“Sure thing, but I must warn you most of the files are probably inaccurate on the details and not complete anyway. Shall we find somewhere where with a big table?”
Jack, Sam and Xander left leaving Teal’c, Willow and Daniel.
Daniel asked a question that had been bugging him for hours. “You mentioned the uprising in Egypt and the Shiva Brotherhood? Can you tell me more about them?”
Willow answered him “Um sure there is a file here that is to be distributed to everyone, but the basics are the Shiva Brotherhood, who later became the Watchers Council of Great Britain which then became the NWC, were the main force behind the uprising. They defeated the Goa’uld on Earth only. They hid the gate and experimented on it learnt what the Goa’uld never did. They then buried it and checked on it every year for a while then every decade, then every century or so. We were supposed to look at it in a couple of years time but we were going through our records and decided to look in a bit early.”
After a moment to digest this information Daniel asked “I see. So the files are all true, magic and demons and everything?”
“Willow Rosenberg some of the creatures described in the files resemble creatures the Jaffa have hunted to extinction on various worlds a long time ago. The one you call vampires in particular are remembered in Jaffa history and legend. If you and your companions did fight them you are indeed great warriors.” With that said Teal’c left.
Willow and Daniel just stared at the door as he left pondering the implications of what he just said.
“So you are not here to try and take over?”
“No we want to make sure that you don’t bring anything like demons back or any dangerous magical artifacts, and if you need help with demons on other planets you can ask us directly or if we need help with things like Seth we can come to you.”
Andrew entered Giles’ office. He had no idea why he had been summoned.
“Mr. Wells I’m sorry to have to do this, the council has decided to let you go. A flight is ready to take you back to the states.” Giles said in a serious voice.
In a confused and panicky voice Andrew asked “Have I done something wrong? Why are you getting rid of me? Please give me another chance Giles.”
“Mr. Wells. Andrew please calm down. You will be escorted to the airport in two hours.” Giles’s tone suddenly changed he had a big grin on his face. “While it is a pity that you have to go, your new assignment is important. You are to be Xander’s assistant. He asked for you specifically. Now you need to pack quickly because in half an hour Vi has organized a goodbye party. I am proud of the work you have done here and we will have to find a way to cope without you. Now hurry along.”
The smile on Andrew’s face grew as Giles kept talking. He hurried out to pack his bags.
Days passed. The human members of SG1 got an earful from General Hammond about unauthorized use of the gate.
Willow left the SGC and Andrew arrived. Xander and Andrew spoke with the scientists while looking and various things brought back through the gate and were discussing many other things together.
Sgt Siler had finally received news from the council. He was a happy man knowing the fight against the dark was continuing. He was disturbed that there were so few other watchers left and that only seventy or so potentials turned slayers were left world wide a year after being called so many died as there was nothing in place to find them. This was going to be a hard time for the council.
Andrew was searching the base for one person. It was surprising the number of scientists who rushed away whenever he spoke to them. They must be busy with helping to unlock the technology to defend the earth.
Andrew finally found Dr Carter in the mess hall “Um Dr Carter, could I talk to you for a moment please?”
Sam had been trying to avoid him, she sighed “Yes, but make it quick I’m in a rush.”
“Do you remember that fifteen symbol address that won us the naquadah? We were wondering if you could find time to try one of the other commands in the same submenu. One that downloads the original dialing program from the gate.”
Sam’s eyes when wide at what he said. She would need lots of storage space and she would want a good team of programmers to look over it. She kissed the man and went of to prepare time for the dialing.
Andrew was stunned, “I think I’m in love” he murmured. Neither of them noticed the wolf whistles the kiss got.
Alarms came on. “Unscheduled off world activation.” Came through the speakers.
“Close the iris” General Hammond ordered.
“Receiving Tok’Ra IDC.”
“Open the iris.”
Martouf and Anise came through followed by several people bringing carts.
“We come bearing gifts, the naquadah you won.” Anise told Hammond
“Also we would like to talk about the possibility of your president meeting with the High Councilor of the Tok'ra.” Martouf added.
While Martouf was making arrangements for the meeting Anise was hunting down Xander and Willow.
As soon as she found one of her targets she spoke. “I want to talk to you and your companion please summon her now.”
Andrew was the first to reply “Wow a demand and a request at the same time, impressive.”
“I’m sorry but Willow is no longer at this base she has more important work to do.”
“What could be more important than the defense of your world?” Anise had a look of disbelief on her face.
“Nothing. But here she would be wasting her talents and where she is right now she is doing useful work defending the world.” Xander replied careful not to mention what her work was.
“I see, we tried to dial the sequence into our gate, we even replaced the last seven symbols with the gate address for our gate. I noticed that the ones you used were your own gates symbols but our gate would not accept it. Explain.”
Andrew spoke up, “I can expl-“ as Xander had covered his mouth.
“I would like to speak to the General about this before we tell you the details. I’d rather say it where we are not being recorded.”
“Let me get this straight son. You wish to take a visiting Tok’Ra dignitary off-base with yourself, Mr. Wells, and Major Carter? Why should I allow this?”
“Well General, one, we wish to discus sensitive issues away from the ears of the NID; two, we want to expose the Tok’Ra to more of Earth’s culture; and three, we are trying to get along with the Tok’Ra. We may hopefully learn to trust them.” was all that Xander could think of saying. “If it sets your mind at ease you could have a security team keep an eye on us from a discreet distance. She was the one who approached us and we are not cleared for gate travel sir.”
“Don’t make me regret this Mr Harris.”
Outside the office Xander found Andrew waiting.
“Andrew you have a date with Sam, well sort of. The General agreed to my idea.”
Andrew stared at Xander. Then grinned.
The next day.
Sam was woken by an evil man knocking loudly on her door. She remembered the previous night “Just a moment” she put on the clothes from last night then answered the door.
“Good morning Carter.” Jack spoke in an overly loud voice.
“Not so loud sir my head is killing me.”
“Oh that is the price you pay Carter for drinking like a fish. So care to tell me why the four of you were so drunk last night?”
“Uh, no sir.”
“Carter I can make it an order.”
“Well sir it started like this”
“Another Round of Fruli everyone?” Andrew asked. Nods all round.
“So let me get this straight the DHD’s that are currently in use are the Goa’uld knock off design not the original design. That is the problem not the gate it self, the DHD’s can’t handle more than nine symbols.” Carter clarified.
“Yep” Xander said in an Oz like manner.
“You got that drunk on a few beers?”
“It was European beer sir.” She defended her self, “It wasn’t all we drank.”
“Another Bialeys Freya? More beer for you guys?” Sam asked. Nods all round.
“So how do you like the Death by Chocolate Freya?”
“I wove it” she said with her mouth full.
“Freya? What was Anise doing?”
“Um the alcohol went straight to the symbiote sir. Anise was asleep while processing all the toxins.”
“Oh, do continue.”
“So if the Asgard weapons are useless but guns work,” Andrew said. ”then why not sell our designs for rail guns to the Asgard? I mean the British and American designs were both tested last week right? They could slave them to their sensors and cover their hulls with oh two hundred guns and I bet it would take less energy than the weapons they are using already. And while we are at it make it a trade of weapons. Get some nice Asgard space guns.”
Xander asked “More Bacardi Breezers for you girls? Another beer Andrew?” Nods all round.
“I like how that boy thinks. We should tell Thor straight away.”
“So Karaoke is a type of entertainment?” Freya enquired as the group was walking down the street.
“Yes, care to do a duet with me?” Xander asked.
“Hold up, you went to a Karaoke club after the restaurant?”
“No sir, I vetoed the idea. We went to shoot pool instead.”
“I love this game.” Freya exclaimed as she potted her final ball.
“Another round doubles. This time Sam is on my team.” Andrew said
“Anise you break I’ll get the next round of drinks.” Xander said.
“Then what Carter?”
“Well I need to know, Carter, for the report to the General.”
“Sir, we went to the Cinema.”
Freya was with Xander on the dance floor, While Sam was getting to know Andrew. The club was a little loud, but fun.
Suddenly the two dancers were back “Andrew we have two fangs taking their victims outside.”
“Oh crap lets get going.”
The group left the Diablo nightclub and followed the vampires. It was a short fight and two piles of ash with two hysterical girls running away from the monsters that were their dates.
“Since we have been sharing information all night. I think we owe you an explanation.” Andrew said to Freya, “The earth is older than you know...”
“Cinema? What did you watch?”
“I was too drunk sir. I don’t remember.”
“Anything else Carter?”
She was really enjoying Andrew’s company. So he was a few years younger than her, it wasn’t that much.
After they arrived on the base Xander and Freya disappeared off together somewhere. She and Andrew sat in her quarters watching a movie on her plasma TV.
“Ok, I’ll tell the General. Get your self cleaned up and ready for duty. You are still in yesterday’s clothes.”
Jack left Sam’s room. She vowed never to drink again and she needed to swear the others to secrecy about last night.
As she left her room she almost choked. On her door was a photo of her dancing with Andrew in the night club.
“Sam dug her self into a hole.” Daniel commented looking at a copy of the photo.
“Yes she did. I heard Freya demand we export death by chocolate to the Tok’Ra.” Jack replied.
“Yes she did. It was quite amusing. Anise really got overridden by Freya on that.”
“Yep. So how long do you think before Sam finds out who was on the team that was supposed to be following them?”
“Three minutes from when she finds the photos. How long do you think we should wait before intervening?” Daniel asked
“We should wait a while Daniel Jackson.” Teal’c voiced his opinion. “It would be most dangerous for us if we do not give enough time for her to work out her anger.”
“So Mr. Wells, Mr. Harris, would you please enlighten me as to what happened?” General Hammond asked.
“Err, we went out to a restaurant then went to a bar shot some pool and went dancing?” Xander replied.
“You failed to mention you got the Tok’ra representative caught up in a vampire attack. Mr Wells do you have anything to add?”
“Err, we may have found a way to resolve the replicator problem that the Asgard have. You know the Rail gun tests that were done last week? Well we thought that if bullets work then rail guns should work too. We have a proposal for a point defense system to defend Asgard ships sir. Also we had some other interesting discussions with Freya. She agreed to give us a technology exchange.”
“That is actually quite a useful piece of information Mr. Wells.”
A short while later
“So Xander how long do you think it will be till the other Scoobies are asking when they meet your new girlfriend.”
Xander put on an air of ignorance as he replied “I don’t know what you are talking about Andrew.”
Andrew laughed at his friend, “I noticed you two sneaking off when we returned to the base. You know all the girls you date are evil in one way or another. Wait till Willow and Buffy storm the Stargate to give Freya the shovel talk.”
“Oh god, please don’t tell me you told them? We were giving you and Sam space. So spill is there a you and Sam?” he replied ‘A half truth and a diversion. Xander you are becoming quite skilled’ he thought to him self.
“It was a non date, there is someone she likes, a lot, and we are just friends. As long I don’t ever mention any Sci-fi to her that is.” was all Andrew said on the subject.
Later that day there was a problem with some mind control done by the Goa’uld. Major Graham was shooting at the visiting Tok’Ra High Councilor. Then killed him self. Martouf was found to have been affected as well but was helped before he found his target.
The next few days were calm. In the interest of sharing knowledge Daniel was allowed to see the language the gate used in the root menus. It confused him because it looked like Ancient. It used their alphabet but it was not even remotely the same.
SG1 went on a new mission to look at some ruins then something strange happened to Xander and Andrew. The day seemed to repeat it self.
A phone call to Giles confirmed the whole council had experienced this... time loop. The protective spells placed on everyone stopped their memories from being reset. Now to find out what was causing this loop and stop it.
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don’t like, let me know if you spot errors, constructive criticisms are welcome.