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Summary: BTVS/Underworld crossover. Los Angeles has been a haven for those fleeing the vampire/lycan blood feud. That was until two new refugees arrived.

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Movies > UnderworldEvilAuthorFR7923,66744028,10228 Sep 031 Nov 03No

Cursed Legality

Title: Underworld Slayer Part 2 – Cursed Legality

Author: Nopporn Wongrassamee aka the Evil Author

EMail Address:

Spoilers: Anything goes

Summary: BTVS/Underworld crossover. Los Angeles has been a haven for those fleeing the vampire/lycan blood feud. That was until two new refugees arrived.

Disclaimer: Characters and concepts belong to their owners who I'm too lazy to list.

Author’s Note: Beware legalese.

“Hi, welcome to Wolfram and Hart,” Harmony said warily. “You’re not going to pull a gun on me again, are you?”

Selene and Michael glanced at each other in amusement.

“No,” Selene said shortly.

“We have an appointment with Angel,” Michael added.

“Right, there you are,” Harmony said, checking a clipboard. “Angel’s in a meeting right now. You ought to be able to go right in afterwards. I’ll let him know you’re here.”

“You do that,” Michael said, smiling.

“HEY, ANGEL! THE TWO PSYCHOS ARE HERE!” Harmony shouted at the top of her lungs. Selene and Michael winced at the volume. Both had better than human hearing, which made the experience even more painful.

There were some scuffling noises behind the office door. A moment later, it opened and a beautiful woman was literally pushed out ahead of Angel. Both were in business suits. While the woman seemed human, something seemed off about her to the two lovers. But after having attended the Slayer’s birthday party, “off” was only to be expected.

“The answer is still no, Lilah,” Angel told the woman.

“Just think about what I said,” Lilah replied. As she turned to walk off, she glanced at Michael and raised an eyebrow before turning away.

“Harmony,” Angel said, turning to his secretary, “do try to use the intercom once in a while.”

“But boss, these new phones got lots of blinky buttons,” Harmony protested vapidly. “Do you know how silly I’d look if I accidentally dialed the wrong number?”

“Not as silly as shouting all the time,” Angel retorted. Leaving Harmony sputtering for a reply, he turned to his guests. “Come on in.” He led them into his office.

Selene stopped abruptly at the door. Angel’s office was being bathed in the afternoon sun. Michael moved through it just fine. That was expected of the hybrid. But Angel walked in the light just fine, too.

“How…” Selene began to ask.

“Oh, sorry about that,” Angel replied. He rapped a windowpane with his knuckles. “Almost every vampire in the city knows about this by now. All the windows in this building have been treated to specifically block ultraviolet radiation. Can’t have the new boss turning into a crispy critter, y’know.”

Selene stepped into the light and drank in the sight of the sun. She didn’t fry. It had been centuries since she’d seen the sun’s light. Suddenly, she missed being able to walk in the day.

“New boss?” Selene asked as she and Michael took seats in front of Angel’s desk.

Angel nodded. “The Senior Partners of Wolfram & Hart literally gave me the whole Los Angeles branch of the firm to do with as I see fit,” Angel told them. At their inquiring looks, he added. “That was because I helped stop an enemy of theirs from bringing about world peace by mind controlling everyone on the planet.”

The two just stared at him like he was insane.

“So, enough about me. To business then,” Angel said, quickly changing the subject. He opened a manila folder on his desk. “As you might have noticed, we don’t exactly have a traditional vampire coven here. The local lycan pack and witch covens are pretty nonstandard too, but we’ll cover that later. We’re a pretty informal bunch here. Live and let live is pretty much the rule around here. And if you don’t let live, we’ll come down on you like a nuclear bomb. Understood?”

The couple nodded.

“As the head vamp of L.A,” Angel continued, “it’s my job to keep the vampires safe, happy, and mostly nonviolent within reason. The first issue we’re going to deal with is your financial situation. Unless you have a fortune stashed away somewhere, you’re going to need jobs to make money. One of you doesn’t have a fortune stashed away, do you?”

“I was a Death Dealer,” Selene said with aristocratic disdain. “I never concerned myself with money before.”

“I was a medical intern before all this,” Michael put in. “We’ve been living mostly off my savings and, um…” He coughed in embarrassment and mumbled, “armed robbery.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Angel said reassuringly. “We won’t hold the past against you. Just don’t do it in our territory and we’ll be fine. I’m here to help you, and that includes finding you jobs.”

“Thank you,” Selene mumbled, unsure if she should be grateful or wary.

“Now, it was actually pretty easy to find you paying jobs,” Angel said, smiling. “Selene, the number of former Death Dealers currently living in L.A. can be counted on one hand with fingers to spare. As a former Death Dealer yourself, you’re a shoe in to be a Scooby.”

“A what?”

“Scooby,” Angel said sheepishly. “It’s what we call our version of Death Dealers. Scoobies operate a bit differently as you’ll learn.” He saw that Michael was looking at him strangely again. Selene was just honestly confused by the name. “Hey, I didn’t pick the name.”

“So who are the other former Death Dealers,” Selene asked.

“Just Spike and,” Angel hesitated, “me.”

Selene looked at Angel sharply, recognition lighting up her eyes. But she held her peace for the moment.

“Now, Michael, rumor has it that you’re a hybrid of vampire and lycan. Is that true?” Angel asked.

“Yes,” Michael admitted. “With all the strengths of both and none of the weaknesses. In fact, stronger than either which is mostly why the vampire covens want me dead.” The last was said in a tone that was almost an outright challenge.

“Your strength is not an issue,” Angel reassured him. “Still, if you have any issues with controlling your lycan side, talk to Oz. I’ll give you his number.”

“Um, thank you,” Michael said. “I think.”

“As for jobs,” Angel continued, “I’m sure you’d make a great Scooby, but I think you might want to consider a different profession.”

“Like what?”

“You were a medical intern before you got dragged into our world, right?” Angel asked. Michael nodded. “How would you like to continue in the medical profession? People who know how to treat injured vampires and lycans are pretty damn rare. We really need qualified medical people.”

For the first time in what seemed a long time, Michael’s eyes lit up in joy.


“Angelus,” Selene pronounced. “Scourge of Europe.”

She had sent Michael out ahead of her, remaining behind to confer with Angel in private. Michael had been reluctant to leave Selene alone with the other vampire, mostly for the most basic reasons. His lover was a beautiful woman. Angel was pretty handsome himself. They would be alone together.

“You’ve heard of me then,” Angel said, not denying his past.

“What vampire over the age of a century HASN’T heard of you?” Selene asked rhetorically. “You were one of the most renowned Death Dealers in history. Amazing for a vampire so young. Rumor had it that you routinely took on packs of lycans barehanded.”

“Taking lycan packs barehanded?” Angel snorted. “That’s more Spike’s style than mine. Is that what they say about me these days?”

“You’re the standard rookie Death Dealers are held up to,” Selene told him.

“Oh, God, no,” Angel groaned.

“What happened?” Selene asked quietly. “Why did you stop being a Death Dealer?”

“Everyone in L.A. already knows the story, so you might as well hear it from me,” Angel sighed. “The reason I was such a great Death Dealer is because I was the worst of the worst. I was a vicious and cruel monster that wasn’t to particular about who or what I killed. Did you know that some kind of vampires like to go on the occasional killing spree? They just find a group of humans and slaughter them en masse.”

Selene winced and nodded. Her own Sire had been like that. Discovering that Viktor had killed her human family was what had prompted her to go renegade in the first place.

“I was worse,” Angel said quietly. Selene’s eyes widened. “I’d fixate on a single human, usually a girl, and torture them mentally and physically until they either died, went insane, or I made them into one of us. Have you met Dru yet?”

“No, but I heard about her at the party,” Selene answered, thrown by the seeming non sequitir. “Isn’t she supposed to be the crazy vampire seer that… oh.”

Angel studied the other vampire in silence as she mentally filled in the blanks. Her self-control was admirable, if showing a few cracks.

“But you’re not like that now?” Selene asked quietly.


“What made you change your ways?”

“I was cursed, and I mean that literally,” Angel told her. “I had killed a Romani girl in my usual gruesome style. Her surviving relatives took revenge by casting a spell that shattered my mind, my soul if you will, in two.”

“A spell?” Selene frowned.

“Talk to Willow or Fred about magic,” Angel told her. “I’m sure they’ll fill you in on the physics of it even if you can’t follow half the jargon they use.”

“So what is this about splitting your mind?”

“I have what’s called a split personality,” Angel told her. “There’s the Good Angel, which is talking to you right now. Then there’s the Bad Angel, who is worse than the Old Angelus ever was. The Bad Angel comes out to play when a specific mental trigger is pulled.” He grimaced. “It’s actually happened a few times.”

Angel suddenly found himself staring down the barrel of Selene’s gun.

“What’s the trigger?” Selene demanded coolly.

Angel smiled at her. She’ll fit right in as a Scooby.
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