Buffy vs Snape, no contest
Summery: Hogwarts got a new Headmistress. You never going to believe, who it is.
Spoilers: HP to Book 5 and BtVS to Season 7
Beta-ed: Jenn my new heroine.
A/N: Thanx for everybody who had reviewed.
Chapter 1: Buffy vs Snape, no contest
Snape was furious, when he saw that he was on the list of students the new 'Headmistress'
wanted to speak with. He knew that there was something more than her simply wanting to talk
to him, since she would have just sent a student or a house elf to 'fetch' him.
'She is trying to humiliate me,' Snape thought. 'No, she already did.'
He had overheard a few of the students spreading rumours, and almost scared them to death
when he appeared behind them to deduct House points.
Snape arrived at the gargoyle statue guarding the entrance to the headmaster's office. "Slayer's
Heaven." He said the password and stepped on the magical 'escalator' to the office door. He
didn't even knock before he entered, unannounced.
Buffy was behind her desk writing and didn't even raise her head to see who was entering her
office. She continued writing.
"Approaching a slayer without announcing your presence is a guaranteed way to get hurt.
Take a seat, Severus." Buffy point to the comfy seat with her quill without looking up.
Snape didn't take the offered seat and stood about five feet away from the desk. He was
feeling angry at Buffy, but he was trying to compose himself. He stood there watching her
write. When she was finished she put the quill down and leant back in her chair, looking at him
with a twinkle in her eyes.
"How can I help you, Severus? I'm sure you are aware that our appointment is Wednesday."
If Snape didn't know better he would have thought that Buffy was related to Albus. She had
the same twinkle in her eyes that he always had. Snape thought the best way to handle this was
to be straightforward.
"Why did you put my name on the list?"
Snape saw the corners of her mouth twitch a little.
"Because that list was for students." Buffy answered, slightly cryptic.
"I'm not a student." Snape replied grimly.
"As long as we learn we are all students. I'm planning to make you learn something." Buffy
lost some of the twinkle in her eyes.
"I have no interest in anything you 'teach'." Snape was smirking now. He didn't want to give
Buffy the satisfaction of asking her what she wanted to teach him even though he was curious
"Dumbledore has told me and shown me how you have treated Harry over the past five years.
I could turn a blind eye to most of it, excusing it because of your 'pleasant' personality." Snape
growled, but Buffy ignored it. "But what you did last school year. You went too far. Because
you stopped teaching Harry to block his mind from mental attacks, you put him and everybody
around him in mortal danger."
Snape kept quiet and tried to keep his anger in check. He was still angry at Harry for looking
into his past. He also had no intention of trying to explain or justify his actions to Buffy.
"I would have requested your resignation if it wasn't for the fact that your actions in relaying
Harry's message to the Order also saved his life. And, of course, there's Dumbledore's
insistence on keeping you on the teacher's staff." Buffy lost all of the twinkle in her eyes.
Snape was feeling a little worried. He had no doubt that Buffy meant it, but he still kept quiet.
"I'm known for giving people second chances, if they want to repent and better themselves.
Even if I have to push them in the right direction." Buffy paused and smirked at Snape. "I have
the feeling that you don't even think that you were wrong and that you are justifying your
This got her a reaction from Snape. "I'm not accountable to you."
Buffy stood up and stared hard at Snape. "Yes, you are. As long as I'm the Headmistress and
you are 'my' Potions Professor, you are accountable to me, in anything that is related to the
Snape tried to intimidate Buffy by staring down at her, but he only got a stare back in
response, as she almost laughed out loud at his attempt. Not that it wasn't a good attempt, he
might scare a recently called slayer with it, or possibly even a master vampire, but not Buffy.
She had seen too much and defeated too many 'Big Bads' to even flinch.
"I have been teaching at Hogwarts for over 15 year and I 'will' teach at Hogwart long after
you are gone." Snape snapped back.
Buffy smirked. "I've asked around and found at least ten candidates who would like your
position, and all are qualified enough. You are easy replaceable, Severus."
"I will be back when Dumbledore comes back," was Snape's response.
"No, you wouldn't." Buffy saw that Snape was looking worried and shocked. He hadn't
expected to hear that.
"What do you mean?" He asked in a demanding tone.
"There were a few conditions I made with Dumbledore before I took this 'appointment'."
Buffy's smile grew as she sat back in her seat. "One of these was that if I fired you or you quit,
he would not rehire you when he returns."
Snape didn't look happy. He was more troubled than ever. Last year he hadn't worried about
losing his job, since he knew that Dumbledore would be back and would reinstate him, if
Umbridge had found a way to kick him out.
"You are going to be put on some restrictions and probation from now on." Buffy leant back
in her seat.
"What kind of restrictions?" Snape looked grim.
"There are two students I'm going to put on your 'no harrassing' list. Which means you can't
deduct House points from them."
"It will undermine my authority." Snape scowled.
"These students will be given explicit warnings not to abuse this privilege. And if you do think
that you have to punish them, you can send them to me or their House Head. I'm sure that one
of us will handle the matter appropriately." Buffy beamed evilly. "Not curious who the
"It is Potter and one of his 'partners in crime'." Snape remembered how Professor Dawn called
Ron and Hermione.
"Close, it is Harry and Neville."
Snape stuck his nose up and sniffed. "You're taking my 'favourite' students away from me."
"I'm heartbroken." Buffy replied in the same sarcastic fashion as Snape.
"Is there something else?" Snape was seething. "Or can I go?"
"Albus also told me that you want the DADA position. I think I'm going to make your wish
come true. But you're probably going to regret making the wish." Buffy smiled mischievously
at Snape. She remembered clearly all the wishes that had gone wrong in Sunnydale.
Snape didn't trust her smile. "I though your cheerful sister has the position. What is the
"My sister knows her Dark Arts, but has a little problem with the hexes, curses and jinxes. Not
the theory but in practice. She's only used her wand for 2 years." A grin started to form on
Buffy's face. "I want you to assist my sister."
'Merlin! Does this woman wants to harass me out of Hogwarts? Her sister has only used her
wand for two years? Why didn't she receive her wand when she was a child? And why did
Dumbledore employ her?' These thoughts raced through Snape's head. He restrained a sudden
urge to rub his forehead in an effort to lessen the headache that he felt coming on.
"I don't have time to fully 'assist' Professor Dawn."
"I know, that is why you will only be one of the two assistants." Buffy was grinning wickedly.
Snape knew that he would dread the answer, but he had to ask it. "Who is the other
"Student. He did very well on all of his O.W.L.'s, but the O.W.L. for his Defence Against the
Dark Arts was an Outstanding. He was head of his class. Plus he already has some experience
with teaching." Buffy kept smiling at Snape. She found it funny. Snape didn't.
"Potter." Snape spitted it out with disgust.
"Yep. I wanted to give him full time, but I think it would be a little too much for him. I didn't
want to put too much on his little shoulders."
Snape snarled. "You are going to coddle the boy to death."
"I didn't know you care, Severus." Buffy looked innocently at him.
Snape didn't respond, ignoring her sarcasm. "Is there anything else, Headmistress?"
"No, you can leave." Buffy waved him away as if dismissing one of the students or a child.
Snape turned. He had his hand on the doorknob and was about to leave, when he heard her
voice from behind him.
"One more thing. You are not allowed to vent your frustration and anger on the other students
just because Harry is out of your reach."
Snape didn't even respond and opened the door. He slammed the door hard behind him and
walked down the stairs with a quick pace. He walked through the portal and strode through
the halls toward his chambers. Arriving in them, he grabbed the first thing in his reach and
threw it against the opposite wall. It crashed in a million pieces. Snape dropped himself into his
comfy seat by the fireplace and didn't even look at what he had thrown.
He sat there, sulking, for hours before he went to bed, dreaming of how he could torture Harry
when Dumbledore returned.
End chapter 1.