Disclaimer: I own nothing, otherwise I’d be too rich to be writing this.
A darkly-clad figure strolls casually down the street. Dark goggles cover his eyes, his bulging muscles barely fit in his sleeveless shirt, and two blades held by his thumb are hanging from each hand. Everything about this guy screams: Danger!
He pauses in a store window and frowns, the street light behind him revealing that he has hair. “I’ll get rid of it later,” he murmurs before turning to continue down the semi-crowded street. A small crowd of demons surrounds him. They all growl and snarl at him, his presence preventing them from attacking.
The man slowly removes his goggles and turns in a slow circle, meeting each of their eyes. His eyes shine in the shadow of the nearby tree. They slowly approach him and he scratches behind their ears. They purr before running away to attack someone else. “How did you do that?” a woman’s voice asks.
“It’s an animal thing,” he replies with amusement. He puts his goggles back over his eyes and glances over his shoulder at her. She has braided sandy brown hair running down her back and is wearing a tight white t-shirt. The black very short shorts show off most of her thighs but on each hip is a gun holster with a matching pair of silver pistols.
She tilts her head curiously and says with a thick British accent (from here on out, everything she says has a British accent, author’s note), “Do I know you, sir?”
“You wouldn’t, lady,” he states as he starts to walk away.
“What is your name?” she calls after him, making him pause.
He slowly turns back to her. “They call me Riddick. And you are?”
“Lady Lara Croft!” the woman declares. “Any idea where we are?”
“Not yet,” Riddick admits slowly. “But we aren’t on Crematoria. We’re above ground and that place’s surface is like Hell itself during the day.” He notices her confused expression. “Someone like you wouldn’t know of it.”
Croft frowns and rests her hands on her pistols. “What is your occupation, Mr. Riddick?”
He smirks darkly, “I’m a fracking murderer.” She tenses up. “Does that bother you, Lara Croft?”
“If I were to come any closer or were travel with you, would I be in danger of you killing me?” she asks cautiously.
Riddick slowly walks closer to her, enjoying how tense she is getting with each step. He leans in until their faces are almost touching and murmurs, “Only if you got on my bad side. Than, if you get on my bad side, I’ll kill you in two seconds flat with a knife in your kidney.”
Lara stares at his goggles and whispers, “At least you are an honest killer. May I travel with you until I find a way home?”
He glances down at the weapons on her hips and nods, “But, we go one pace. My pace: if you can’t keep up, don’t come.” With that, he sprints down the street, her following close behind. Riddick pauses at an alley, holding out his arm to stop Lara. He puts a finger to his lips and whirls around into the alley.
Lara looks into the alley with her pistols drawn to see a three pronged sai at Riddick’s throat and his own jagged knife at the throat of a red clad young woman. She jabs the second sai at his gut, but it’s countered by his second blade. “Put the sai down, miss!” Lara orders. The woman doesn’t bother to look at her.
“No,” she says calmly. The red-clad woman has tight red clothing on that leaves her legs and arms completely exposed. A dark red bandana covers her hair, allowing most of it to flow down her back in an auburn color. Across both thighs are knife straps, and thin red cloth is wrapped around both wrists and biceps, covering from her wrists to her elbows and the middle of her lower arms. The red leather boots almost come up to her knees. Lara Croft fires at her, but the woman dodges each bullet with ease, launching Riddick and herself into a deadly dance.
Riddick spins his knife over his left wrist and catches it just in time to block a blow from the sai. He drops, doing a leg sweep, which she jumps over. He rolls away as her boot comes down where his head was. He back flips to his feet, jumps to a wall, and launches himself at her. She keeps up with the flurry of stabs and slices with ease, neither of them able to land a cut on the other. She does a twirl over his head and lands behind him. He manages to bring his arm back in time to block her blades. Riddick throws her against the brick wall with a powerful back kick. He drops his blades and pins her wrists against the wall. He looks into her eyes and growls, “And who might you be?”
“Elektra,” she states quietly. “I’m an assassin and I was going to rob you of your weapons before trying to find a way out of this place. How did you see through my illusions?”
Riddick smirks, “Well, I’m a killer, and you’re going to find weapons somewhere else. I’m a frackin' Furyan. Simple mind tricks don’t work on me. And, I noticed something during our fight.” She raises an eyebrow in curiosity. “You grind your teeth when you fight. Damn Sexy.” She stifles a blush and pushes him away.
“Who are you?” she says, twirling her sai in each hand.
He replies easily, “Riddick. Now, put those things away before you hurt yourself.” Her eyes narrow dangerously. “I’m going to go figure out what happened here.” He turns to walk away and Lara Croft stares at her.
She inquires, “How did you dodge those bullets?”
“A gift,” Elektra replies.
Riddick pauses in the doorway and calls over his shoulder, “You two coming?” They glance at each other and follow him back into the street. “Oh, and one more thing,” he says, not looking back at them. “Don’t kill unless I do. Something’s wrong with this place.” They shrug and keep following him.
Creatures rush them, but he takes them down with a few well placed punches, occasionally adding in a kick for variety. Elektra and Lara Croft look very impressed with the ease at which he dispatches any pursuers. A girl dressed in a cat costume rushes past them screaming with a large dog creature chasing her. Riddick steps in the way and does a spin kick, knocking the creature unconscious.
“Xander?” the girl says loudly. “How did you do that? Hey, Willow and Buffy, what is going on? Everyone is acting crazy!”
Riddick tilts his head curiously, sheathing his knives in his belt. “Lady, you have me confused with someone else. I’m Riddick.” He starts to walk away but she gets in his way and pokes his chest with a finger.
“You are Xander Harris, dork of the year!” she insists.
He looks down at her finger and states calmly, “You remove that finger in the next three seconds, or I will remove your arm.” She quickly removes her finger and looks at the three in shock.
“If you are Riddick, then who you are two?” she asks with wide eyes.
The assassin looks over the teenage girl with disgust, “Elektra.”
“Lara Croft,” replies the tomb raider with pride.
“A comic book hero, a tomb raider, and a killer? Holy Crap!!” yells Cordelia.
Elektra frowns, “You look like the cheerleader type. How would you know anything about comic books and killers?”
Cordelia rolls her eyes and sighs, “Some of my boyfriends had weird hobbies which included comic books and weird movies.”
“Follow me,” Riddick orders. He walks away and notices a familiar house. The killer kicks in the door and walks in to find it empty. A picture on the table shows the Croft, Elektra, and Riddick all in civilian clothing and smiling as friends. He notices it and murmurs, “Maybe the ditz had something to her story.”
He senses someone behind him and turns around, his thumb blade stopping at Angel’s throat. “Who are you, and why do I have a powerful urge to kick your ass several kilometers?”
Angel’s eyes widen. “It’s me! Angel! Xander, this is no time to be playing around! There are monsters out there!” He hears a click and turns around to see two pistols pointing at his head and a sai positioned to strike above each kidney. “What’s going on here?”
Cordelia rushes in and shrieks, “Angel! Guys, he’s a good guy! Don’t kill him!”
Riddick doesn’t move and states, “Angel? That’s a sissy name.”
“It was Angelus before I got a soul, remember?” Angel growls irritably.
“No, I don’t, actually,” Riddick smirks. “I’m Riddick, and you’re already dead. How does that work?”
Cordelia rolls her eyes, “He’s a vampire!”
Lara Croft reaims her guns at his heart, “A vampire? Aren’t those bad?”
“This one has a soul! He’s working for the Powers that Be and all that!” Cordelia explains. “Okay, Angel, they are acting like their costumes and don’t know who they are.”
Angel slowly turns his head enough to see Croft. “Buffy?”
Croft shrugs, “I don’t know you, Mr. Angel. But if you double cross us or try to harm us in any way, I will end you myself.” Riddick’s smirk widens.
“Cordy, have you found Giles yet? He should be able to help,” Angel asks, his eyes never leaving his transformed love.
She frowns, “No, but that sounds like a good idea to me!”
“Can I move without you killing me?” Angel asks Riddick.
He thinks about it for a few seconds and pulls his knife away, leaving a thin red line across his throat. “For now. Lead on.”
Elektra whispers to Riddick, “We can’t trust him if he’s a vampire.”
“What is a vampire?” Riddick inquires quietly.
“A blood sucking undead creature that is a human corpse that is possessed by a demon,” says Elektra in a hushed voice.
Riddick frowns, “He’s an unarmored Necro. Don’t worry about it. I can handle them.”
They go into an alley and a voice says from the shadows, “This is really...neat! I love Halloween!” Spike slowly stalks from the shadows. “This should be fun.”
Elektra starts to walk forward, but Riddick stops her. “I’ll take care of him.”
“You will, eh, weakling?” Spike taunts. “Then you’ll have to get past my two new friends!” A tall figure with a black suit on steps into the light. His raspy breathing and strange mask make Cordelia pale.
“Darth Vader?” she screeches. A second figure steps from the shadows holding a large strangely shaped axe. His head is covered by a large helmet and silvery armor covers his body.
Riddick snarls, “Lord Vaako. You’re the one who ordered the Holy Man Imman be killed. You’re mine.”
The Necromonger pries off the helmet and tosses it aside, revealing a black mohawk. He sneers, “I knew that scum could grow anywhere. But I wasn’t expecting scum like you, Furyan!”
“That’s Mister Furyan to you, dead man,” growls Riddick. Spike gestures for them to attack.
Elektra murmurs, “Vader’s mine.” He ignites his light saber and assaults the assassin. She rolls under the humming blade and slices at his armor, trying to get through while lithely dodging the blade. She back flips onto a dumpster and calls to Croft, “I can’t get through the armor! Take him out while I distract him!” Lara nods quickly and fires at him.
The light saber whirls to vaporize the bullets as the Sith’s other hand slowly squeezes the air, causing Elektra to start choking.
The large bolt of energy sends the Sith flying onto the roof, leaving a smoking trail in his wake. Lady jumps down from the opposite roof and grins, “I borrowed this from my new best friend!” She holds up a huge gun. A man clad in thick green armor lands beside her.
“I am Master Chief,” the green man states. Spike’s eyes widen and he takes a few steps back.
Riddick and Vaako exchange blows quickly, but Riddick has the upper hand. He slices and cuts at the powerful Necromonger while receiving hard blows to his body in return.
Vader leaps back down into the alley with his lightsaber, slashing at Master Chief angrily. “Die, beast!” he shouts.
Master Chief activates an energy sword and blocks the lightsaber. “No,” he states solemnly.
A loud bunch of orange creatures jumps down into the alley and start dancing around Lara Croft and Elektra. “Weren’t we just in the Labyrinth, bro?” one asks.
“Yeah, man, but this is so much more fun!” another replies happily.
“LET’S GET DOWN, WILD GANG!!” they all shout.
Several start walking on their heads, literally, by detaching their heads and walking on it. They toss around their eyes and hands randomly to each other while singing about taking it easy and having fun, accidentally bumping into several combatants.
Spike retreats back to where Drusilla is hiding to watch the fight. Angel follows him and says, “Spike, Drusilla, get out of town right now before I kill you.”
The blonde vampire grins, “You can’t hurt me, because…” Drusilla holds up a box of costumes and he picks out a fake beard, white cloak, and she hands him a long staff. A surge of energy washes over him from the staff and he transforms into an old man. “You are not going to do anything to the great Sauroman, Creature!”
Drusilla grins evilly and rolls a pair of gloves to Angel when Sauroman isn’t looking. He picks them up hesitantly and puts them on. A similar wave of energy washes over him and he growls, “I don’t know who you are, Bub, but you better get that stick out of my face.” Long metal claws pop out of between his knuckles.
With the Demon Hunters:
Dante, Lady, and Trish rush into the swarms of demons approaching Sunnydale, having felt the allure of the chaos. “They cannot reach the town!” shouts Lady.
Dante growls as he unsheathes his sword, “They won’t!”
At Ethan’s Shop:
Ethan looks through spell books hurriedly as the pounding on his windows and doors increase in intensity. “How to make the chaos stay without me dying,” he mutters, skimming through three different books at once. The books are laid out around him, all open.
His finger stops at a line of Latin. “That’s it!” he exclaims cheerfully. “Now, let the chaos continue!” He chants in Latin and the statue of Janus blinks. A body slowly forms under the statue until a muscular man and woman are connected at the back, their heads also connected.
They speak simultaneously, “Why have you summoned me, servant?”
Ethan bows quickly and says, “I am your degenerate son Ethan Rynes. I summoned you here, Janus, to allow the chaos-induced powers to continue in the enchanted costumes while releasing the personalities possessing the children. I would like the changes to be permanent, my lord!” He stays on his hands and knees before his god.
A long silence follows. Finally, Janus says, “Very well, Ethan Rynes. Your service and loyalty to myself pleases me. I hereby grant you the powers of chaos, as my champion on this miserable planet. You shall gain me more followers and continue the spread of this delicious chaos.”
“Yes, my lord! Thank you for such an honor!” Ethan says reverently. Janus vanishes in a flash of light. Ethan slowly rises to his feet and looks around. He says slowly, “I can feel them! I can feel all of them!” Images of each possessed person floods his mind. He grins as lightning jumps across his fingertips, “Now, release!”
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