Disclaimer: I don’t own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Riddick, or Devil May Cry, though I WISH that I owned Devil May Cry. That would be awesome.
A tall silver-haired man with a large guitar case hanging on his back relaxes outside an old bar. “I could pay off a few debts with the last job,” he muses. “Patty might even stop attacking me with the mop.” A few men walk past him into the bar. He sighs, “Ah, the hell with it, I want a strawberry sundae.” He follows the large men into the smoky bar.
“What will it be, mister?” asks the bartender as he wipes out a glass.
“Just a strawberry sundae,” the man says lazily.
The men at the nearby table play cards noisily while adding to the smoke in the room. “Sorry, mister,” the bartender states. “This place is a bar, not some candy shop! You can’t get any strawberry sundaes here.”
The man lets out a deep sigh, laying his guitar case down against the bar. “Bartender, I recall telling you to add strawberry sundaes to the menu last time I was here.”
The bartender looks over the silver-haired man curiously. “Hmmm…Royal flush!” shouts a man sitting at the only occupied table in the building.
“Again?” grunts the man at the bar with annoyance. The case unzips and two guns jump to his hands. He spins on his stool with his guns blazing. The five men collapse in bloody heaps as the bartender shouts in alarm. He slides his smoking pistols into his red jacket. The bartender backs away fearfully.
The men shed their human skins and rise up in full demonic form. One shouts, “It’s Dante!” The thick sword shoots up from the case, slamming into the palm of the gun man.
“That’s me, and you guys are slow learners,” he answers. The demons rush forward at him. He lunges from his stool and his sword slices deeply into the faster demons. Ducking under another blow, he twists the sword and yanks it out, splattering blood all over the wall. The bartender sheds his human skin and launches himself at Dante from behind as the man plunges his large blade into the last demon. Without a second thought, Dante twirls a pistol from his holster and shoots over his shoulder, filling the bar tending demon with messy holes. “Next time, put strawberry sundae on the menu. I like them.”
A deep chuckle catches his attention from across the shadowy room. “Who’s there?” he calls, flicking the blood into the other wall from his sword, covering it completely.
“Royal Flush,” the voice rasps. A large bony demon steps from the shadows with a royal flush in his hand. “Catch me if you can, demon hunter!” Dante throws his sword at the demon, but he dodges it and jumps out the window.
“All I wanted was a damn strawberry sundae!” Dante yells as he rushes after the demon, pulling the large blade from the wall as he runs.
The blonde demon hunter rolls out of the way as a bazooka shell whizzes past him and the cheesy bar explodes in flames. “Watch where you’re shooting, Lady!” he shouts.
On the roof of the building opposite the bar sits a skimpily clad woman with short, dark hair. A bazooka rests on her shoulder comfortably. “You owe me money!” she calls back with a wide smile.
“Can’t you see that I’m after a demon?” he shouts back irritably.
A long haired blonde woman runs past him and calls cheerfully, “Not if I kill him first!” A brief flash of lightning erupts from her hand, barely missing the bazooka-wielding woman.
Dante slides his sword onto his back and hollers, “First one to kill him buys the drink!” He dashes after her while drawing his twin pistols.
Lady scoffs, “I’ll add it to your debt!” as she back flips off the rooftop and lands in the street. The bony green-skinned demon dodges a blast of lightning and turns into a dark alley. The three demon hunters reach the alleyway at the same time.
“Trish,” says Dante hesitantly. “Ever see something like that before?” Twirling lethargically before them is a red and black swirling portal.
The lightning woman shakes her head. “No, but he’s about to get away.”
The bony demon jumps into the portal; Dante shrugs, “I’ve never let one get away yet!” The three run forward and dive into the portal as it closes around them.
“Disorienting, isn’t it, Demon hunters?” rasps the voice of the escaped demon. “Let’s see if you can find me now.” A rip in the darkness opens and the demon leaps out into the street. Dante shoots at him but barely misses.
The demon hunters roll from the portal as it closes again, bazooka shell, lightning bolt, and bullets slamming into the skinny demon, splattering him all over a blonde young woman who just stepped into the alley.
“Dammit,” mutters Dante. “Now nobody gets the drink.”
The young woman stares at them and growls, clenching a wooden stake tightly, “Who are you and what are you doing in Sunnydale!”
“Sunnywhat?” Lady asks with a confused look on her face.
Author's note: while I dislike cussing, Dante isn't Dante unless he's cussing. Same with Riddick. Just watch the shows/movies and you'll see what I mean. so, my apologies to those that can't stand cussing. and for those that can't stand it, get over it.
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