This one is teenishy for references to blowjobs.Pairings:
Through all of BtVS and AtS (minus the comics), and just borrows Batman and Flash.Disclaimer:
I so totally own the Buffyverse and DCverse. Bow Down! *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*Author's Notes:
This is just a "hello, I give you this so you may smile" fic for Amejisuto
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The Dark Knight stood in the shadows... again. From the roof of the dark, empty warehouse, he could see across the alley into the hotel room the criminals were hiding in. Of course, the sullen mood was rather ruined by the sudden blur of red and yellow. Wally
he thought, as numerous emotions flew through his mind. Batman expressed this confusion with frown number 73.
"Hey, Bats! How's the stakeout?" Flash asked brightly.
Batman scowled, hiding his smile. Wally's mischievous grin was far too infectious, causing him to consider smiling in front of others. It was the sort of thing that could ruin his reputation with the other members of the Justice League.
It was then he noticed Wally's expectant gaze. Oh, right, Wally had asked a question.
"Well enough. One of the thugs left to get some food."
"So, what did they do?"
"They attacked a gang that was suspected of a series of murders. These two were the last ones seen in the vicinity of the warehouse fire, caused by an explosion."
"So they killed the killers?"
"I believe so."
"Huh. Would this be bad time for me to point out the hypocrisy of vigilantes hunting down vigilantes?"
"We don't kill criminals," Batman pointed out.
"True, but still, I thought it was interesting. So, what's the plan?."
"I have them under surveillance. It's not admissible evidence, but a confession on tape might provoke a confession during interrogation. There's also the possibility that they might discuss further attack, so later we-," Batman paused. There was no "we." Wally was just a friend, and Gotham wasn't his responsibility. "-I could apprehend them in the commission of a crime."
Turning from the window, Batman set a metal case on top of the ledge. Opening it, he flipped a switch and pressed a button. A small LCD screen flared to life, revealing the inside of the room. A thin blond man lay on the bed, nude. Batman turned away, looking at the room.
Batman frowned. Wally's "huh" had carried meaning, subtext. But what?
He turned to find that Wally had discovered the rewind button, and was reviewing the earlier footage, which featured some rather... acrobatic... intercourse. And Wally looked rather intrigued and engrossed with the footage. Thank heavens the mute was on. Those noises had been quite distracting. He quickly turned his face away from Wally's profile, though his eyes remained trained on him.
After a few moments, Wally shook his head as though to clear it of thoughts and stopped the video.
"Find anything interesting?" Batman growled. He took note as Wally shuddered faintly, his nipples peaking under the thin fabric of his costume. Hmm... perhaps that costume wasn't warm enough. Batman clenched his jaw as he started to imagine ways of warming Wally up.
Batman turned back to the window. His skin prickled as energy ran through him, a surge of desire that made him jittery with anticipation and longing. Finally, he made a choice.
"I'm going in while he's alone," he said, voice low.
"What? I thought-," Wally started.
But Batman had leapt over the alley and onto the next building. Moving quickly, he scaled down the wall, then jumped in through the open window that faced the alley.
"What the bloody fuck?" The naked malfeasant jumped up from the bed and fell into a defensive fighting position. But after a few seconds of looking at Batman, the shock and concern gave way to amusement. "What the hell are you wearing? I mean, honestly, what sort of a nutter....?" His question trailed off as he doubled over with peals of laughter.
Batman carefully moved closer. Pulling out restraints, he reached for the criminal. But before he could grab him, the blond stopped laughing and snarled. He kicked at Batman's midsection with surprising force.
"Oi, only one man gets to tie me up and it sure as bloody hell ain't you," he growled.
Batman quickly rose, a small part in the back of his mind admiring the criminal's growl. It was a very assertive and animalistic growl.
The two men approached each other at the same time, trading blows. While the criminal was incredibly strong, Batman was used to battling super-humans. Reaching down, he pulled a wire-rope-springy-tying thing and launched it. The ropes wrapped and locked around the blond, who fell to the ground.
As he approached the felled criminal, the hotel room door opened.
"Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!"
Before Batman could look, there was a weight on his back and a head next to his. Without looking, he punched at the attacker's face, then executed a shoulder throw that resulted in the attacker, the brunet thug, smashing against the wall. As the young man crumpled to the floor, an inhuman roar sounded behind him. Turning, he saw the blond flex his muscles, the ropes snapping. The blond charged, enraged, his face distorted with yellow eyes and fangs. But before the creature could reach him, Flash sped by, grabbing the creature's neck and throwing him against the wall, where he fell next to the brunet. The creature stood and made to charge Batman again, fangs snapping, only to be stopped short by the brunet.
"Spike, stop trying to hurt Batman!" The one-eyed man yelled from the floor. The blond, apparently called 'Spike,' whirled around.
"He threw you, pet!"
"But it's Batman!" he countered, struggling to his feet. Spike walked over and stood right in front of the one-eyed man.
"I don't care, Xander! He touched and hurt what's mine!" Spike crouched and gently cupped Xander's bruised chin, his gentle touch at odds with the violence he'd displayed earlier.
"Since when am I yours? You said it was just sex...."
Spike snorted. "Even I didn't believe that when I said it. I'm yours and you're mine, got it?"
A goofy smile spread across Xander's face.
"Yeah, and I'll rip apart anyone that tries to hurt you."
They started leaning toward each other when Wally's discreet cough returned their attention to the superheroes in their room.
"What?" Spike snarled.
"Um, yeah, this is sweet and everything, but we don't like murderers," the Flash explained slowly.
"What? We're not murderers! Well, I'm not, and he used to be, but he's good now so you don't need to fight us," Xander babbled, concern marring his brow.
"So what do you call burning down a warehouse filled with people?"
Xander laughed, relieved.
"Those were vampires, they don't count."
The Dark Knight answered automatically. "Vampires don't exist."
The two uncostumed men started at him, incredulous.
"While I'd normally agree with you on that, Bats, Blondie did have fangs a few minutes ago," the Flash pointed out.
"Oh. Right." Frowning, Batman grimaced internally. Damn Wally and his distracting presence. He's making me look stupid in front of him.
"Do you have any proof that the victims were... vampires?"
"Check the building when it cools down. Won't be a single bone there. When they die, again, vampires turn to dust," Spike said, wrapping an arm around Xander's waist.
"Oh." Without the threat of danger, the two costumed men began to realize just how... nude... Spike was. Batman started back toward the open window.
"Well, then, we'll just let you get back to your...." Batman trailed off, suddenly unsure of how to end that sentence.
"Shagging? Buggering? Fucking? Blowjobs?" Spike offered.
"Spike!" Xander hissed, "I don't think Batman wants to hear about our gay sex lives!"
Spike snorted. "Oh please, he's hot to trot for Red there."
Wally's mouth dropped open as he turned toward Batman, who had started growling.
"Don't call him 'Red.' It makes me think of Willow. And Willow plus Batman does not compute."
Spike shrugged, then smirked at Batman's glower.
"Oh, get off it, Batty. He's been drooling over you, too! So why don't you two go shag so we can get back to our shagging."
Stunned into silence, Batman leapt from the window and the Flash zipped out of the room, closing the door behind him. With a wicked grin, Spike shoved Xander onto the bed, then quickly joined him.
^^8^^ ^^8^^ ^^8^^ ^^8^^ ^^8^^ ^^8^^ (I made Bats! Wheee!!!!)
Batman made his way back to his earlier perch, moving on automatic as he collected his surveillance paraphernalia. But all the while, Spike's words whirled around his brain. He's been drooling over you, too!
He removed the small surveillance dishes that he used to capture audio. He's been drooling over you, too!
Batman packed the dishes into the case, and flicked off the power. He's been drooling over you, too!
"So, was that for real?" He's been drooling over you, too!
Batman turned and studied Wally. His eyes were wide, hopeful, a vibration running through his body and voice, betraying his nerves. Wally was excited and hopeful, but scared. He's been drooling over you, too!
Batman slid his eyes closed, mentally reviewing the clues that he'd somehow misconstrued; nervous glances that Wally had thought surreptitious, conversations that occurred with Wally standing too close, the way Wally always licked his lips around him, but not others. He's been drooling over you, too!
Opening his eyes, Batman knew with sudden clarity that he had only one option. He stalked over to Wally, noting another slight vibration that went through him. He reached out and gently cupped Wally's face. Wally smiled wide, his eyes dancing with joy. Batman's heart skipped a beat at the sight. And then he felt Wally shiver, and Batman - Bruce, felt heat surge through him as he pressed their mouths together. The kiss went on, Wally opening his mouth and teasing Bruce's lips with his tongue. Bruce growled, a growl of desire, not vigilante exasperation, his arms wrapping around Wally and holding him a close as possible. Finally, Wally jerked his head away to suck in breath.
"Jeez, Bru- Batman," he murmured. "You have incredible lung capacity. We definitely need to get somewhere else so I can call you something besides 'Batman.'"
A different kind of heat blossomed in Bruce's chest.
Wally's grin widened into a leer.
"So, tell me, does your bedroom have sound proofing?"