Part 17 - Stand Off

The Doctor placed his hands on Martha’s shoulder. “What were you doing, messing about with a Postbiological Enviromental Network Integrated System anyway? That’s Void technology, and you of all species should know better than to tinker with that.”

Brotox’s gun wavered. “We are homeless. Travel through the Void allowed us the possibility of returning to our home world in another dimension.”

“But it wouldn’t be your home world,” replied the Doctor. “And in any case you just wound up here on Earth like Broton and the others.”

Brotox hissed. “Broton arrived here?!” The gun was once again fully cocked.

The Doctor nodded. “That’s right. Well, he was here. Now he’s dead. This lot here took care of him.”

“Then they did the universe a service.” Brotox lowered the pistol to his side.

“Quite right, quite right.” The Doctor said amiably, until he felt an elbow in his ribs.

“This is all very fascinating, but may I remind you two that we’re only two WANKs away from another full Void incursion?”

“Oh, right.” The Doctor reached over Martha, grabbed the rucksack, twirled around and headed into the TARDIS. Dropping the sack by the console, he gave Emort a quick pet before lifting up one of the floor panels and beginning to rummage through it. “Right, right, need a Local Integrated Co-ordinates Knowledge, here we are.” The Doctor pulled out a toaster sized device and placed it on the floor by the rucksack. He climbed back up and emptied the PENIS out of the sack. It had noticeably withered since he’d last seen it, but now that he had a LICK right here, he was less concerned. He took out his sonic screwdriver and started joining the two items. About two minutes later he held up the assembly with pride. “Look at that, Martha! Brilliantly done, if I must say so myself.”

Martha’s tone was hardly filled with amazement. “Very good, Doctor. So now what are you going to do with the alien who has a gun pointed at me?”

“Oh, right.”

~*~

“So where is the Doctor?” asked Captain Magambo, tugging at her epaulets. “It seems to me he’d be the first person you’d like to share your exploits with.”

Clark and John shared a glance. “That’s what I was forgetting,” said John. “Who knows the trouble he could be getting up to without Dawn around?”

Clark nodded. “I think thhe’th a good influenthe on him.” Captain Magambo arched her brows at this and Clark gulped. “Well if the explothion didn’t make him come running then he’th probably in the TARDIth by now.” Clarks eyes widened. “The TARDIth that Dawn left the full guard on with orderth to thhoot to kill.” Clark snatched John’s hand in his and started running towards the building.

John waved at the Captain with his free hand. “Thanks for all the help!”

“It’s never easy with the Doctor around,” muttered Erisa, “Even if I never even see the bloke.” The earth below her trembled and she glared at it. “Now what’s this?”

~*~

“Now let’s not be too hasty. We’ve all gotten what we came here for, haven’t we?”

"Aw, why'd you have to ruin this lovely little moment of cooperation with another bloody gun?" whined the Doctor.

"You must return the PENIS to me," grunted Brotox.

Martha snorted. "Explains his sudden need to brandish a gun, though, doesn't it, Doctor?" Both of the males tilted their heads at this remark, causing Martha to shake her head. "Typical."

The Doctor returned to more comfortable topics of conversation. "Nevertheless, Void travel is extremely dangerous, and though I've given this a good LICK, even that will destabilize under constant use. How's about I help you lot repair your ship and you go find some other world using conventional travel?"

Brotox turned the pistol on the Doctor. "How about you d-" His proclamation was silenced by the cocking of a hammer on a silver plated revolver next to his head.

"How about you drop your weapon?" Clark lashed his tongue at Brotox in a threatening manner. Captain John joined in on the threats by hoisting a borrowed assault rifle, moving out of the doorway and between Brotox and the Doctor.

The Doctor stood aghast. "What's with all these guns in the TARDIS? You know how I feel about guns."

"Sorry, Doctor, I'm happy to see these latest arrivals," said Martha.

"Glad to be of service," replied Captain John with a salacious wink in her direction.

"She'll be rather less happy to see me," said Proxan in the form of Major Price as she cocked her own assault rifle and aimed it squarely at Clark's spine. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to drop your weapon, handsome."

"Who are you calling handsome?" asked John.

"Tall, dark, and scaly here." Proxan shed her body-imprint and puckered her suckers at the lizard. "Maybe some other time, some other place..."

All of them were blown off their feet as a console panel burst open in a gaseous explosion, smoke filling the TARDIS. Fortunately no one fired in their shock, but there was much scrambling, pinching, and at least one case of groping in the mist. As the air cleared, the only one with any idea of what had just happened was Dawn, who had her bowel disruptor drawn and at the ready. She grinned. "Did anyone miss me?"

Bwahahaha. After only four months I got Dawn out of the Void! You still game, Booster-baby?