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The Lion, the Wish, and the... Wildebeest?

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This story is No. 2 in the series "Cordelia's Wishverse". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: An alternative ending to 'The Good, the Bad, and Cordelia', readable as a stand-alone. The Order of Dagon decide that the Wishverse Slayer is unsuitable as the Key's protector and they think outside the box to come up with an alternative strategy.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Other BtVS Characters(Current Donor)SpeakertocustomersFR151424071,3001 Jul 091 Jul 09Yes
Disclaimer: The characters in this story do not belong to me, but are being used for amusement only and all rights remain with Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the writers of the original episodes, and the TV and production companies responsible for the original television shows. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER ©2002 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. All Rights Reserved. The Buffy the Vampire Slayer trademark is used without express permission from Fox.

The Lion, the Wish, and the... Wildebeest?

The monastery in Prague was peaceful for the moment, but the monks knew that it would be only a matter of time before the Beast discovered their location. “We must send the Key to the Slayer,” the Abbot decreed, “in the form of something that she will love and protect.”

The monks’ brows furrowed as they visualized the Slayer and tried to think of something suitable. “A crossbow?” one suggested hesitantly. “A set of Kevlar fatigues?”

The Abbot shook his head. “It must be something alive. Something with blood that will contain the Key’s living energy.”

“I know!” one piped up. “A walrus.”

The Abbot raised his eyes to the heavens. “Sometimes I despair of you, Brother Jaroslav,” he said, shaking his head. “Can I have some serious suggestions? Anyone?” For a long moment no one spoke up.

“A wildebeest, migrating majestically across the Serengeti,” said the irrepressible Brother Jaroslav.

“Now is not the time for levity!” the Abbot snapped.

“Wait. Perhaps he has a point,” Brother Miroslav put in. “It would be excellent camouflage. One amongst a million, and it’s not something the Beast could ever suspect.”

The doors of the monastery suddenly shook under a massive impact. They were out of time. “Very well,” the Abbot sighed. “A wildebeest it is.”

- - - - -

Glory held the lion up by its mane and shook it angrily. Jinx cowered behind her, watching the rest of the pride nervously as they circled warily around the goddess.

“You’re a very bad lion!” Glory scolded. “You killed my Sobekian Cobra Demon. Are you protecting my Key? Give me my Key!” She smacked the lion across the nose and it whined in fear. Glory laughed, and then her expression suddenly changed as she felt her arm beginning to sag under the lion’s six hundred pound weight. “No! Not now!” she cried, but it was no use and the transformation took place.

Ben the Bush Doctor found himself standing on the red Serengeti earth dressed in a cord skirt, suede boots with impractically high heels, and designer Safari jacket. He winced. “I hope none of the Maasai see me like this,” he muttered, and raised his eyes. Cold yellow eyes met his. An enormous mouth opened in a snarl to reveal massive fangs.

Ben turned to run and tripped over Jinx’s head. The torso of the demon minion was being dismembered by a lioness. The inappropriateness of his attire was suddenly the least of Ben’s worries.

For the rest of his extremely short life.

The End

You have reached the end of "The Lion, the Wish, and the... Wildebeest?". This story is complete.

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